What is that Evie? Afraid of being wrapped in cotton wool?

Sorry I just quoted the cotton wool part because it was at the beginning. I meant to say the contents of the whole post upset me generally. Just it made me realize more that I am a burden on my family and a total ****ing loser. I dont want them to feel they have to care for me. Part of the reason I ran off was because I felt I would be relieving them of the burden of worrying about me when they should be able to just concentrate on Brian. I am not their real child, just a niece and I am in the way. And yes I am an adult too, really I could be living on my own right now, I have a job and some money so I could support myself. Other people my age are married, have children, etc. Colin even moved out just the other day and he is 5 years younger than me. And the most embarrassing part is I want to live with them right now, I am afraid to live alone. I feel attached to them now, I would miss them, so I want to stay. So that makes me feel like a big baby as well. Sometimes I think I should never have contacted them at all, they would be better off without me. Maybe Brian would still be alive too if not for me.

Hi Evie

Hope you don't mind me saying something here, so hear goes...

I was speaking to Humphrey & he was telling me how much he likes YOU & thinks your family is great. (Believe me he can smell a loser a mile away & told me he hasn't spotted such a creature since he has been with you) He feels very grateful to be staying with such a wonderful family & cats.

Thank you jods. Very sensible. Hope it cheers Evie some.

Well Evie. Believe you are thinking unclearly. Know you are having your much needed rest right now, and I am going to rest as well, but beforehand wanted to give you these truths to consider for your return:

1. We were looking for YOU Evie, and you were running from US! Not the other way round. Always wanted you.

2. Other people your age who live on their own, have not had your experiences. Especially your recent health concerns. Must not compare yourself to them.

3. Colin is not ill. Gone to basic training, and is not on his own in the way your thinking. CAF is providing for his every need.

4. If wanting to be with family makes one a baby then yours truly is the biggest baby of all time Evie, and not ashamed of it either.

5. We would NOT be better off without you. On the contrary. Have you any idea how much grief you caused when you disappeared? Terrible. How do you figure running off again is going to make things better for us?

6. Your argument about Brian. Complete and utter nonsense. Not sure why you are so insistent about it, but stop it this instant, it is wrong and it is hurting you. Do not even allow yourself to think about it Evie. THAT IS AN ORDER.

Bottom line my dear, you are being negative, self-pitying and much too hard on yourself. Hope to hell by the time you read this things will have improved. We love you Evie, hate seeing you in this state.

Uncle Jim.

Exceptional advice from Dad Evie, I hope you take it to heart. Before I was married and after my near deadly helicopter accident, I moved back in with the folks for 18 months. I was older than you, 26 I believe. So don't feel so bad about needing them, it's all good. You'll move on when you're ready.

Evie, what can I say? Well, maybe you should read what is posted below yours and take some notice.... you cause more concern the moment you think for others instead of asking them for yourself.

I apologize to everyone. I was selfish and self-absorbed, feeling sorry for myself and not caring about how anyone else might feel. And you're correct Uncle, not thinking clearly either.

Acknowledged and accepted. Glad you are thinking more clearly now and accepting responsibility for yourself.

Uncle Jim.

Sweetheart just get well and come home to us as we miss you greatly. Mental health is my first best wish for you.

Oh dear. Anthony with all the focus on Evie your excellent post was quite forgotten. I did mean to comment on it.

I have been pondering Evie driving, and the more I think of it, the more I think you are correct, the sooner the better. I remember when I learned to drive, it made me feel such an adult, though I was only 16 at the time. It occurred to me tonight that Evie has missed out on that feeling, missed that important life experience and transition into adulthood. Truthfully, there are a number of adult activities she has not experienced, being 17 at the time of the trauma and somewhat frozen in time since then. So perhaps its time for her to do a little catching up. It occurred to me also that the confidence and independence she will gain from driving may actually prevent her from running off again. If she feels she can come and go and she pleases, perhaps she wont feel so trapped and panic.

I was going to comment on this as well, I had much more to say but I suddenly feel quite tearful again. I promise to continue on another occasion. Anthony, thank you for your insight.