Hey guys, I am glad I found this community. Maybe someone can give me some insight into what is going on with me. Any ideas, or thoughts would be very much appreciated. So here I go - about a week ago, I had a pretty long day at work, and decided to drive down to the beach for a surf right after work. I get to a popular spot, and there is quite a few people out in the water. So I head out, and notice more of the aggressive types are out in the water (surfers who think they own a spot just b/c they surf well.) So this one guy gets right in my way, and shouts "hey!" at me before I take off on a wave. He doesn't even make the effort to get out of the way. So when it comes time for the same guy to take off on a wave, I do the same thing right back at him. I didn't even know what I did, I just reacted. So he starts yelling all sorts of expletives at me as he passes by. Then he comes back telling me "I am not the guy you want to be messing with!" So what is troubling about the whole situation is that I just shut down, I don't even counter his comments. I just felt hollow, not scared, but just not willing to deal with the situation. Thus, I end up really beating myself up about it and head back to the beach. In my mind I thought I would react with anger, but I just shyed away. It really shook the foundation of who I am, and what I thought about myself. So ever since the event, I have been repeating it over and over in my mind. My stomach is constantly burning. And whenever I think back to that day, I just get hit with a wave of emotions. It hasn't really totally encapacitated me, but it is taking its toll on me. I haven't been in a physical fight since grade school, and I don't go looking for them either. I am generally a peaceful person, but jerk out in the water just pushed all of my buttons on a bad day. So I am worried about how long is this trauma going to stay with me. What is making it worse is my OCD, and overall high anxiety that I have had for about 10 years. All I want at this point is to move on from this, and to get back to feeling like myself again. All I am doing right now is Please help, any input, advice, encouragement would greatly be appreciated!

Hi Jophe,

Well, it isn't close to PTSD from what you explain, and that is only a good thing for you. I would merely suggest you go see a counsellor for some face to face discussion about that one event to calm yourself down from it, and clear your mind off it, so it doesn't sit on you and build over time.

Don't dismiss seeing a good counsellor, otherwise you just put yourself in harms way for many possible events to build upon you, and once they do, it is often much harder to rid yourself of past experience.

But no... you don't have PTSD from that.

I just wanted to say that I like your little smiley guy hitting a wall. I feel like that a lot myself. lol

clara

Jophe, I have just launched the PTSD diagnosis, so that could help you along for your own determination. It is based on the actual criteria used to diagnose PTSD, and has had medical input into its development.

Thanks guys, for all of the input. I have a really obsessive (OCD) mind, so I tend to repeat things over and over again - especially when it is something disturbing like this incident. It was a real silly incident, and I am blowing it WAY out of proportion in my head. So I have been talking to people about it, just to get it out of me and it seems to help. I still have this burning feeling in my stomach, but hopefully it will go away soon. I am not having nightmares about the incident, but it causing me to loose sleep and my appetite isn't where it should be - but I think that has more to do with my "burning" stomach. I really don't know why it affected me so much, it wasn't that big of a deal. I am pretty sure the other guy has already forgotten about it. I really feel this is such a big deal b/c of my history with OCD, and me being a somewhat sensitive person. So this is high octane fuel for the OCD to flare up :angry-fla I really just want to get over this, I really just want to get back to my old self. I have enough real things to worry about right now, I really don't need something like this to drag me down. :sleep: Thanks again guys, I will keep y'all posted!

Thats great to hear Jophe that you are talking about the issue, and getting it off your chest. Best method to ensure you don't dwell upon issues. I hope your pain does get better soon.

Anthony - thank you for the support. I think this is one of the best things to come out of the internet - forums and communities that provide support to those who need it most. Its good to know that I can come hear and really express what is wreaking havoc inside of me, so it doesn't grow into something bigger. Things are getting better, thanks to God and my wonderful girlfriend. Its funny how one person can blow off an incident (i.e. what I went through) and another (me :crazy-eye ) can blow it way out of context in my mind. I guess that is just the way I am wired. Hope you guys have a great weekend. God bless.

Your welcome Jophe, and we are always here for you. Goodluck.

Just knowing someone else is hearing no matter where they are always seems to help.