I read the book Receiving Love and it's awesome. Basically healing can never occur alone. We heal when we trust another and are intimate and can function in that intimacy. After I was raped at 19 I spent 12 years doing spiritual work and therapy and avoided all men. No sex, no nothing, but was hit on constantly because I was pretty. But it wasn't until I bit the bullit and made myself go into relationships to have my issues brought up. I have been constantly retraumatized by my fathers abandonment issues and that is a stronger PTSD than the rape. So, for me, my major healing can only happen IN a relationship because the PTSD is triggered IN the relationships, not out of them. So, in the book Receiving Love, it discusses the epidemic that being alone heals - no it doesn't, being in a loving relationship does. We were not meant to be alone.

I voted for option 1.
My boyfriend and I have been together a year. And he knows everything (trauma-wise) thats ever happened to me. He's been wonderfully supportive. He's woken me up when I've had nightmares, he's calmed me when I've had night terrors, he's held me when I'm having panic attacks, and leads me away from something that reminds me of the traumatic experiences when my feet are glued to the floor... I must say, if it wasn't for him. I'd have given up by now.

In addition to the 'no physical abuse' rule, I would add the rule of 'no unforgiveable emotional abuse, verbal abuse, etc'
because couples can argue but not be so mean and nasty that the words and actions made during an argument or wave of PTSD be unforgiveable.
There are other forms of abuse, other than just the physical, so I am just adding those here to widen the scope.

Example: calling your spouse an asshole may be considered verbal abuse, and leaving in a spinning-tires car during an argument may be considered abuse of the relationship, but it may be forgiveable, if the one who is guilty really is sincerely sorry for the words and actions.

I depends on how much you both are willing to tolerate.

I am very new to this site but all this information is the best so I thank everyone on here! In my opinion I think yes it can work if no one has cheated and there has been no abuse. My bf said to me a month ago that he felt like there was so much damage now that he didnt know anymore. when I asked like what he said the way I talk to you and the way you talked to me from time to time. I told him for me that is not a reason to walk away I understand it dont always like but I understand it and am always willing to learn more to build a stronger bond.

I voted for #1. I have seen so many relationships fall apart because of the effects of PTSD both that of friends and my own personal relationships. But the factors that caused those relationships to fail was not the PTSD. It was that there was lack of communication, lack of faithfulness from either one or both partners and almost always abuse in one form or another. Another major one is lack of education or acceptance of PTSD and that can be from either partner. Usually in military couples, sadly to say it is usually the wife that is the angry one that is unwilling to accept or educate themselves about what their husbands are going through and why they act the way they do. Which breaks the most important support bond needed for healing and usually causes things to get worse and the eventual break up of the marriage.

I have been lucky in finding my current wife, she is very supportive, has a background in psychology and we are both involved in my healing. I try to talk to her about every thing and she does the same if the way I act bothers her; before it builds up and causes an arguement. If it builds up, it adds to my anxiety and would usually end up in triggering my rage. Which is the opposite of what we are trying to do.

I said no simply based upon my experience. My husband and I are divorcing. He has PTSD also, but chose to turn away from me...instead of working through this together.