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| | Notices | Welcome to PTSD Forum. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a life threatening, debilitating disorder that can break down a sufferer’s body through anxiety and stress. Further it poses a significant suicide risk resulting from the brains neurological imbalance and chemical depression. Sufferers often live in denial, thus this community is aimed at helping PTSD sufferers help themselves through others experiences, guidance and education. We are here for the sufferer, spouse and families surrounding PTSD. Spouses and family are too often forgotten in this equation, and often they receive all the worst that PTSD has to offer. If you're involved in any way with PTSD, get registered and help yourself now. Non-active members will eventually be deleted. If you are not a sufferer, carer or someone within the mental health industry, and active, then there is little reason for you to be a member of this forum. Non-active members with zero posts are deleted periodically during the year. |  | | 
13-05-2007, 08:02 PM
|  | | | Join Date: May 2007 Location: Colorado
Posts: 539
| |  Finding a Mate - Need a Girlfriend
Really not meaning anything sexual, if that's the way it comes across. I'm looking to make myself better at finding a girl friend. I've had a few in real life, but when they find out I have a disability (not counting the PTSD) most split. A couple didn't, one turned out was screwing a guy behind my back (and we were engaged) and she couldn't figure out why I dumped her; and the other was fabulous. The one time I felt like there actually was love there between us. Only only huge problem- I was 34 and she was 63. No sex, but we had a very very special relationship. And we were engaged for a bit before I chickened out.
It has been 7 1/2 years since I last had sex. And it's been 3-3 1/2 years since I last had a GF.
I want to write up an ad, but I have difficulty writing it. I don't expect anyone to do it for me, but any help is welcome! |
14-05-2007, 10:52 AM
| | | | Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: uk
Posts: 209
| |
try looking for friendship, always a good start, online or paper add? theres a lot of online places now which arent seedy or require subscriptions, |
14-05-2007, 12:44 PM
|  | | | Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 692
| |
this sounds totally corny but try Church. |
15-05-2007, 04:20 AM
|  | | | Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 34
| |
Church may sound corny but it works. That is where I met my wife of 12+ years. We started off as friends and then started dating. I wanted to marry her the first day I met her. She is more than my wife she is also my BEST friend.
Don't knock it until you have tried it. I would start out making a stronger friendship with someone and then try to make it work for a girlfriend situation. Then you never know you may find your sole mate. A good friend now may actually be the person you are looking for. GOOD Luck!!!!! |
16-05-2007, 04:48 PM
|  | | | Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 1,236
| |
Oh Jack, Jack, Jack-----Please quit looking. Don't you know by now that your sole mate is out there and will cross your path when you are ready. Looking only seems to attract loosers, or at least that has been MY experiences. Besides don't think you are the only person in this boat. It has been 15 years for me!! Yes I said 15 years. My therapist decided that I was not the best judge of people and with my problems-and 4 failed marraiges-I didn't need a mate so I have a new theroy of life. When I get the urge for a man in my life I just get ANOTHER cat. To date I have 4 cats ! ! ! But I surly do make a super friend HERC |
26-05-2007, 03:30 AM
| | | | Join Date: May 2007 Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 12
| | Online dating?
Have you considered online dating? I just took the plunge and am trying eHarmony and others and so far...I'm actually rather impressed. I'm an introvert so I like that I can just read about people and then make my decisions anonymously and not have to try to go to a bar or church or anything and force myself to get over being shy and talk to someone.
I wish you luck! |
20-06-2007, 06:34 PM
|  | Administrative Editor PTSD | | Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 7,443
| |
Shit... finding romance is the easiest thing nowadays with the Internet, its more a problem finding true love... sex and romance (fling) is easy... just check out the thousands of dating sites and portals, get online, get in them, get chatting, get into their chat rooms, the lot.... |
21-06-2007, 12:50 AM
|  | | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: T. Bay, Ontario Canada
Posts: 3,244
| |
I'd say the big problem with this is ourselves. I know my lack of trust is a huge issue that prevents me from making freinds or even dating. In order to find a mate, we need to take a risk and put ourselves out there. No easy task (one I'm not ready for personally.)
Good luck and let us know what your trying and how it's working!
bec |
21-06-2007, 12:36 PM
| | | | Join Date: May 2007 Location: Colorado
Posts: 539
| |
Trust is so hard to make. So many times I have trusted counselors, and I get let down. I trusted friends, and I get let down. I trust this person and that person and these people and those people.....and I get let down.
At the same time so many people tell me I should try trusting people for a change. For a change? LOL! I have been trying! Just because they don't see it doesn't mean it's not there or never happened. It has and I have tried. And nearly everytime I get screwed. |
21-06-2007, 03:53 PM
| | | | Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 104
| |
Hi CJ, 
TRUST YOURSELF FIRST!!!!! Trust that no matter what, you are still the same good person and you will never let yourself down!!!! As for others.... well, everyone is human, and if we allow people to have their own opinions, and know that of course they will let you down from time to time, it makes forming relationships easier.
We will never NOT hurt the people we love, try as we might!! And that goes the other way too!!
Start every day new, look for that cloud with the silver lining, and trust that no matter what, you can open your heart a million times and gather some beautiful moments in time. Dont deny yourself those! For every heartbreak, you have LOVED. And to love unconditionally, knowing we will be hurt and loving anyway, is the most beautiful kind of love.
Have faith in yourself!!!
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