Crap! I hate this, I am really panic striken today, I just can't get over it and I keep feeling like I am going to cry. I don't cry, I haven't even cried in therapy, came close a couple of times but I always hold it back. Now I feel like I just want to cry all day, I am at work and I just went and sat in the bathroom for 20 minutes thinking about what I could do instead of crying I don't know what to do I have that panic, in a box feeling. I haven't slept a full night in a week and I keep waking up sweating but can't remember my dreams.:crybaby:

My heart goes out to you. I am in the same type of situation. I refuse to cry while I am at work but am getting close. Keep your mind on your work and get through the day. I plan on letting out a good cry when I get home today. I already warned my family I need me time when I get home. Good luck and hope you can find time to let it out. My wife thinks if I let it out I will sleep through the night here is to hope that it works.

Hi, sorry it's been a while (I've been away from the computer for a while) and I'm so sorry to hear that you're having a tough time as well. Keep your chin up - I'm thinking of you & I'll send positive thoughts your way (I have a few left, lol!)... Take care.

Thanks I need some positive energy. I am seeing my therapist tonight, we have alot to talk about,I just hope it goes well. I am a little aprehensive.

I feel panic as this all encompassing grip, it feels as though I've about lost control crazy, having a heart attack, and the worst ones make me feel as though my atoms will burst apart. I've had panic attacks since I was in the single digits (I have always suffered severe nightmares, to the point of ripped sheets and nose bleeds making my pillow case covered in blood, I also used to sleep walk, but no trauma that I can remember that would cause panic attacks in one so young), I would run to my parent's room and beg them to tell me a funny story. Sometimes, when I'm in public with my husband, it starts to creep in, say at the market. My impulse tells me to grab like bleach and drink it. I try to control without a scene, and my vision will go white. It really begs the question why exsist when the existing is so painful. I'm not being suggestive or suicidal at all. I had a really hard night and now I have 8 bright red reminders to memorialize it. I haden't cut for two and a half months. Now it's just I'm so, so tired.

that is the worst Tiana, I think I have had panic attacks my whole life as well. The cutting thing is so hard I haven't done it in awhile and I told myself I wouldn't resort to that anymore, it isn't good for me but I do want to hurt myself sometimes. I picture myself with my hand in a vise grip and I tight down on it slow breaking all the bones in my hand. I am actually afraid I might do that but it wouldn't be the end of the World, just a broken hand.