New Here and Have Complex PTSD - Self Diagnosed

Hoople · #1 29-05-2007, 02:40 AM

Self diagnosed. From the age of 12 to 18 I lived in a state of phobia, anxiety, and depression due to feeling threatened by my father. I hid in my bedroom, I detached myself, I practised a 'poker face', I did not react, I tried to become invisible. The result was depression, spacedout, hypervigilant, heightened startle response, anxiety, all of these still persist.
I experience memory problems, mostly longterm but also shortterm. I have problems learning new things. I'm constantly anxious and hypervigilant, I experience anhedonia (lack of pleasure), I 'can't' plan for a future, I don't know what it is but now that i've read it as a symptom (sense of foreshortened future) I can at least understand it as part of this syndrome. I'm occasionally explosive. I feel anger and agression inside. I feel bunged up and also numb.
Does this sound familiar?
Thankyou
Julie

Tiana · #2 30-05-2007, 06:50 AM

Hi Hoople,
I suffer these symptoms as well, from the lack of pleasure to not being able to plan for the future. Part of my PTSD makes me believe i will die a violent death. I have been on meds for so long, I can barely register anything other than base emotions, and when complex feeling come up, like anger and aggression, or extreme depression or rage, I'm so terrified of losing control, I self mutilate. I do not recommend it. Often times I feel numb, most of the time, when I do, I'm grateful for the break.

There are really good people here, and a lot of great information. I encourage reading up on the info the furum provides, as well as seeking a therapist familiar with PTSD, as there are therapies (is that a word?) like EMDR that can help.

Take Care and God Bless! :biggrin:

Tiana

anthony · #3 30-05-2007, 11:44 AM

Hi Julie,

Welcome to the forum. My only suggestion would be that you must seek professional diagnosis in order to actually know whether you have PTSD or not. Having symptoms alone does not negate having PTSD, as there is a little more to it than that. You can have all the symptoms of PTSD, but not have PTSD. PTSD is a chemical imbalance that takes place within the brain, once done, is incurable. Trauma specialists know the right questions to ask, and they can pick a person with their responses and actions in person, whether they have PTSD, or simply are experiencing traumatic stress by itself. Either one is not to be dismissed, trust me on that, but you must seek counselling and professional advice instead of attempting to self diagnose yourself, ie. go looking for something that is wrong, when in fact the problem could be much different in nature.