How To Express Emotion? Our Inner Selves

darkskies · #1 11-06-2007, 01:17 PM

i'm having a problem with therapy sessions - i'm finding it hard to recognise any feelings relating to trauma during therapy. i've been told that if i can't do this maybe it's my brain saying i'm not ready to handle them, basically either start feeling or stop sessions because they're not going anywhere. When i've tried i either sub-consciously distract myself or my mind filters and i can't access them. How do u unlock your brain and feel, therfore deal with feelings?

i don't have any problems expressing anger, frustration, aggitation or sadness generally but when it's to do with trauma i have no words to describe what i feel, let alone know what the feelings are. my repsonse at the moment when i do think about trauma are silent tears, whats hidden behind them never stays for long enough for me to identify. Any suggestions? Anyone else experience anything similar?

kers · #2 11-06-2007, 03:17 PM

You're definitely not alone in this. Trauma leaves us speechless and numb--so a big part of therapy is putting the experience back into words and getting the feelings to come back in relation to it. I suspect that the more you talk about it and go over it, the more the feelings will return.

Quote:

i've been told that if i can't do this maybe it's my brain saying i'm not ready to handle them, basically either start feeling or stop sessions because they're not going anywhere.

Is this your own ultimatum or your therapist's?

I found that I had to spend many, many session talking around the trauma before I was actually able to address it (which I'm still doing). Those weren't wasted sessions--I had to build up trust in my counselor and identify what was keeping me from speaking/feeling so that we could find ways around it. The process of coming to speak about it is as much of the recovery as the actual speaking, I think.

Just my ideas--hopefully you'll get other points of view on this, too.

anthony · #3 11-06-2007, 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by darkskies

i don't have any problems expressing anger, frustration, aggitation or sadness

This is exactly why the iceberg of emotion is written, because your intentionally only looking at your emotional responses, not the underpinning emotions themselves. Unlocking your sub-conscious is actually pretty easy, hence what mental imagery does exactly this, though being ready to deal with your trauma is not the answer, more like you simply don't really want too at the moment... you have to really want to deal with it... this is why we have the list of emotions, where you can look at your response, look at the circumstance, then look for emotions to help you identify the real problems.

Claire · #4 13-06-2007, 04:19 AM

Can you explain more Anthony? with an example please?

For me personally I get this when I talk to my therapist or anyone else in depth about my car crash. I get it just at the point just before impact, then there's a bit I dont remember at all and just after. I find it very hard to explain it, talk about it or go there at all. I cant talk, stutter, get stuck, like there's a problem with my hard drive.

Is it just detachment? Because its too much to go there? I used to be the same with the way I felt about the other driver. I felt nothing. Everyone wanted me to be angry but I wasn't. I was numb towards him. I am getting more angry with him recently so somethings changing.