Thats it Kathy we have been married 25 years now both kids have moved out. So its just him and me now! Things have to get better hopefully they will when I am recovered. At the moment whenever I ask him something I have to think of how I am going to say it he gets the shits if I raise my voice!
The whole world is against him! After this long together I shouldnt have to be worried about how he is going to react all the time. Even when my parents were here looking after me they said he made them nervous with his attitude they werent sure how to say things either. That is crap to have to be like that around soemone all the time!!
Jen

Hi Jen

Isn't the whole egg shell walking thing a huge drain. I know when I am in that mode I get tired just from thinking all the time.

Hmmm, I know this sounds silly but just thinking about the whole egg shell, thinking & how our stress levels increase also.
This is only a fraction of what it must feel like for our loved ones on a daily basis.
We are lucky in the fact that we can choose to find a way to turn off our thought pattern even if its only for an hour or so. (Going out for a walk, watch a movie, or go and do some physical activity, anything that is something only for you)
We take that ability for granted & forget that the things that are easy for us to do are no longer as easy for them.
I know this is something I forget about my hubby.

I am not perfect at all & I'm sure there are times my actions can cause hubby's cup to overflow at times.

Sorry to ramble....
Hope you are getting there & trying to do something for you to help you feel better about yourself. Gentle Hugs

Hi Jods yeh your right! It does become draining thinking all the time about what to say and how to say it! I should just be like him and dont think about it just blurt it out just to piss him off But yes we can turn our mind into other thoughts whereas I suppose they have trouble doing that.
Hubbys problem is that any time he wants to do something for himself he has to spend money and lots of it on stupid things and we cant afford it! I had to take over the business finances recently at least I can do that from home otherwise he would have sent us up shit creek without a paddle the way he was going!
Hope things are well with you!
Jen

Most true jods. Very wise. We are able to walk away, take a break and so on. Our sufferers can not walk away from themselves.

Jim.

And sometimes Jim we would like to walk away and keep on bloody walking
Jen

Good to see that sense of humour again Jen!

I must admit, that is very funny Jen!

Hubby seems to think the whole world is against him especially me! I know his cup is running over at the moment with all thats going on.
I would like some advice as to what to do about what he needs to hear from me to make him realise that I am there for him? Anything I say goes in one ear and out the other! He seems to have a lot of anger in his eyes sometimes when he is talking to me. We are having a lot of arguments lately which is not helping either of us! We had one this morning because I told him he didnt have to $500 on something that we dont need! It is happening a lot lately! He wants to spend money all the time!!
Jen

Spending is a distraction Jen, its another method in which to hide symptoms, the same as alcohol, drugs, workaholism... spending is just another on the list, then the money runs out, so they do illegal things to get more money, more depressed, hide it more and do more, just like a gambler basically. Its a habit to distract and avoid life itself.

Thank you Anthony you are the first person that has ever said that to me!
I really didnt think of spending as being a distraction! I suppose there is no thought of the consequences of what can happen to a marriage or a business when the money gets tight. This is where a lot of our arguments are coming from because I can see what will happen and it is a worry!
Jen