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The Driver, the Farmer and the Jack

A man was driving down the road when one of his tires blew out. When he got out to change it, he realized he didn’t have a jack to lift the car and was unable to change the tire.

He remembered seeing a farm house about a mile back down the road and decided to walk back and see if he could borrow the farmer’s jack to fix his car.

As he walked he started thinking, ‘What if no one’s home?’ He answered himself, ‘Well, I’ll peek around the barn and see if I can find a jack and leave him a note that I’ll return his jack shortly’.

A little further on he starts worrying and thinks, ‘What if he’s home but won’t answer the door?” He answered himself, ‘Well, I’ll just keep knocking until he answers’.

A little further and some worrying later on he thinks, ‘What if he’s home but feels uncomfortable about lending a stranger his jack?’ He answers himself, ‘I’m a nice guy, I’ll talk him into lending me the jack’.

A little further on and a little more worry he thinks, ‘What if he wants to charge me money to lend me the jack?’ He answers himself, ‘I don’t know, I don’t have any money with me. How could he do something so unkind to a person in need?’

At the property line and completely worried now he thinks, ‘What if he just out and out refuses to loan me his jack?’ He answers himself, ‘Why that no good SOB! What did I ever do to him?’

He reaches the front door, pounds on it until the farmer answers. The farmer says, ‘Hello, can I help you?’

The man gets in farmer’s face and screams, ‘You can take your jack and shove it up your ass!’ and storms away from the door.

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Unnecessary worrying, over-thinking, and negative thinking-all of these can combine to take an event that can usually be handled and make it into a full-blown, stress inducing situation.

While the above story is a bit extreme it does serve to illustrate how we can sabotage ourselves without even realizing it. Letting our negative thinking go unchecked can cause a lot more problems than we really need to deal with. We are all guilty of it at one time or another. To recognize a negative thought pattern takes being aware of our thoughts and making a conscious effort to say ‘STOP!’ when they begin to get out of control.

One negative thought can loop again and again through your brain until it can become overwhelming. If a mental order to stop doesn’t work, changing your location (it can be as simple as moving into another room or going outside), speaking to someone trusted about how you’re feeling, writing down your feelings, or exercising can help. Finding a positive activity to replace the negative one is important for teaching ourselves to overcome unnecessary worry.

‘What if’ can be a real hobgoblin. What if I can’t do it? What if I feel uncomfortable? What if I panic? What if people are looking at me? If you say ‘What if’, answer yourself ‘So what’. Sounds simple because it is. It makes you stop for and think. 'So what' helps to break that negative thought loop. It takes some practice, but does work.

It’s said that to make a habit takes doing something 16 times the way you want to do it without reverting back to the old habit that’s being broken. You can look at this as a negative (Oh no, 16 times is an awful lot!) or positively (Only 16 times to get rid of this particular negative thought!). The choice, along with everything in your life, is up to you. Positive thinking isn’t about being a Pollyanna. It’s about not tearing yourself down continuously and working on making a better, happier life for yourself. Again...it's all up to you.