Well done Veiled. Keep it going!

Just updating, I have made it through the 4 week mark. A month off. Hard shit! But for the first time the hot flashes have backed off since I can recall. I got a chill yesterday and today with goose bumps! I even had to go outside in the massive heat to stand in the sun to warm.

I used to love to sun bathe, to feel the heat on my skin, but in recent years it was horrible. I enjoyed it briefly again and hope to sit out when back home without getting ill. The sun and road is beckoning me. If I can make it through all the paper work I think I can get my DL back to drive, hubs fixed my A/C in my van, and there is a lake close by I want to visit.

Hubs has been speaking with me on the phone saying he can hear me sounding so much better. I am learning my limits and quicly recognize how far is too far. The best part is what I desire and do now used to be way too far. My "too far" is way past my previous limits. I am starting to enjoy certain things in life again I was not sure I ever would again just by knowing I will do this much and let it rest, and then do more later. It is just too awesome!

Oh and a new turn... I could give a rat's ass drugs made me fat now. I do care about getting fat health wise (was a big shocker when I saw some recent photos of me from camping but I still felt good looking at it) but when I was tiny and trim I was more self concious than I am now being a plus size! I used to be embarrassed in shorts when petite and cute... and looking at old photos I should have been strutting, and now I bought shorts AND a SKIRT (never did that)! But now I am thinking way less of what others may think and realizing the way I look now so do most. Why did I never see it before? I never realized I was so different looking when I was a size zero. I even bought a sleeveless shirt! Me and my chubby arms LOL, and I LOVE it. I am so much more comfortable in my skin.

I feel now what they say... Big and Beautiful. If I get skinny again world watch out! I will be walking around nakedy LOL. I am just beaming with life. I can't wait for my husband to see me after my vacation. To live with this attitudde. I could do and feel this in my home before a long time ago, but to feel it now, is so amazing, as you can tell since I keep going on! He has not seen this for so so long. He will finally be getting the woman he feel in love with (part) back. I think we are both going to be doing worlds better. With me like this his work did much better and kids were happier, everyone will be better for this! Even the annoying parts like now LOL.

Veiled,

Your post made me cry.....tears of happiness, that you had some happiness too. We all here deserve that. It can be achieved....I am so happy for you, and proud too that you did the 4 weeks, did a trip, and found you again....GREAT JOB!!!!!!

Keep up the good work and :kickass:!!!!!!!!!


Love,

Wen

Thanks Wendy, it is just... I guess I don't feel much if any depression right now. You don't realize what part still lingers until you feel good. I feel so good now, like a weight is lifted I have been carrying on my shoulders for years now. I am ready to start making some steps out into this world again. Not ready to leap, but ready to step out. I hope this will make others decide and see they can too. I was a wreck when I got here.

Absolutely awesome Veiled. So happy for you:biggrin:

veiled,

SO you say meds are a crutch? DO they work or a bandaid.

Zamboni

Depends on your meaning of work. Do they control symptoms? Yes, but only short term. Then you have to keep taking more and more until it is too much to be safe and must come off.

Are they a band-aid or crutch, again certainly. But remember those are not meant to be used forever either. Just very short term. Then while you have the band-aid or crutch you must go through healing and then lose them to heal further.

These medications can be very useful as a relief long enough to learn some skills of healing. Sadly I took it for over a year before I knew I needed therapy or what was wrong. I had to do it (learn) while weaning for over a year. I am not finished learning. On this one though I think I have a pretty good idea most certainly now. These drugs are dangerous and should be used with the utmost care.

Keep kickin ass veiled. You are my hero!

Great work so far Veiled....Keep it up!