To Kathy, Jim and Evie,
I have been a member of this site for quite a while now although I must admit that some times I stay gone for weeks at a time. I am unsure as to the full impact of Evie's PTSD and/or cancer. But tonight I read this post from beginning to end and as I am usually not excessively emotional, I was overcome by so many different emotions! Some time sad, then happy, then just plain angry (not with the people and their entries, but with your situation in general).
I admire all three of you immensely for all that you are going through and handling. I have two boys myself (both undr two) and a partner with PTSD and I just cannot imagine ever being capable of the strngth that your entire family seems to have. I know it has been said before by another member but I cannot remember who- it just sucks that these things happen to 'innocent' people. I am not a religious person but whilst reading your posts I found myself praying for you all!
I find it very encouraging that you are continuing to support and love each other through all of this, and I hope that if ever I was faced with such trials that I would be able to handle them as well as you do. I sit here typing these words and I realise that this may seem very conceited however I just felt the need to express my feelings. I have never spoken to Evie before but from what I have read she should be Hercules and the Hulk put together with all that she has been through.
Anyway, before I 'annoy' you further I will sign off but please know that my thoughts are with you all. I hope everything works out perfectly for you and your family from the bottom of my heart.

Tammy, it is most interesting you mention Hercules and the Hulk, as Evie is a professional comic book artist. Many of the avatars on the forum were drawn by her, including Jim's and mine. She loves comic book characters, the Hulk being one of her favourites. It never occurred to me she might relate to his anger issues, however you may be quite correct! I know she identifies strongly with Batman, hence why she is Batgirl on this forum.

Once again, thank you for your thoughts, you are most certainly not annoying me. As I mentioned in the other thread I am having a rather difficult couple of days, however your post has cheered me some. Jim and I have worked extremely hard over the years to keep our family close and it is always good to hear when others notice. If anything Tammy, I wish the same closeness we have in our family to be extended to your own, especially with your little ones. It is worth every effort in the world and does make life that much bearable during difficult times.

It is now almost 3 weeks since Evie's surgery, and still no raging. Of course she still has some problems, but I would be inclined to call them irritation rather than anger. Nothing she is unable to control. Jim and I can still barely believe the changes, neither can Evie herself. She is relieved and happy but also frightened. Her emotional state has turned from anger to sadness and grief over Brian's death, and fears about her cancer. At least though, they are real emotions, unlike anger which is a reaction to an underlying emotion. We are hoping it is a step in the right direction. She has a neurological consult next week, to have the shunt removed (she has a shunt draining fluid from her brain currently). We also hope to hear more about the tumour at that point. It was malignant however they sent it away for tests and we hope to hear more detailed results. In any event, her changed mood is a relief for all, especially Evie herself, and we hope she will be rested and happy for her birthday on Tuesday, as we have a very lovely surprise for her.

Kathy,

I hope it is ok to post here to you...I don't know the rules yet around here, and I am unsure of the appropriateness of posting but for some reason, I wanted to connect to you. I just finished reading this entire thread as I was looking for something "safe" to read tonight. I am struck by your gentleness and faith in this situation with someone you love so dearly as is obvious. I think you mentioned being a Christian - maybe that has something to do with it. I am just encouraged that there are people such as you in the world who would care for someone with severe PTSD with such compassion. I was also amazed to finally hear of someone else with "brittle asthma". I was diagnosed with that several years ago but have yet to hear of someone else with it. I also have had 2 sinus surgeries...Sorry - I don't mean to talk about me. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your caring story in such a public way so that I was able to read it and for this moment...feel hope.

THank you,
Grace

Kathy,

I think my post got lost - I just tried to send one but maybe I am doing something that I am not supposed to. I am unsure whether it is ok to post here, nor do I know if it would be ok for me to post since you do not know me.

Grace

No Grace, your post was not lost; you are simply in moderation. That means that until you are released from moderation, your posts will be delayed. It is nothing to be concerned about, it is just a rule we have here to help all members feel safe. It is explained nicely in this thread:

http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread5669.html

As far as you posting in general upon the forum, you are welcome to post in any area available to you. I certainly do not mind you posting in here, you are most welcome. And welcome to the forum, lovely to have you!

I am sorry to hear you also suffer from brittle asthma, it is quite a frightening illness, isn't it? Evie can be quite fine one minute and unable to breathe the next! Since you've also had the sinus surgeries, are you also allergic to aspirin? Evie is, and that seems to be the "classic trio" - severe asthma, sinus problems and aspirin allergy. In any event it is not pleasant. Evie is a member here if you ever wish to speak to her directly about the brittle asthma. She's not on as much as previously but she is a bit active. Her username is Batgirl. I'm certain she'd be happy to speak to someone else about the asthma.

I am pleased my thread helped you. You and others have quite cheered me in the past few days, with your kind words. I have been having a difficult couple of days emotionally speaking. So I do thank you for that, and feel free to post here anytime you wish. Take good care.

Its bloody damn amazing to see the change in Evie since the surgery. I can barely believe it. Not that I'm complaining. (;

That is good to hear Sapper!

Yes the change is quite remarkable. We are more certain than ever that the tumour pressing on the brain was the cause of her terrible rages and also some of the more bizarre hallucinations she was experiencing. Additionally, pressure to that area of the brain causes "persistance of a single thought", which is very in keeping with her previous inability to "let go" of certain issues which were bothering her. For example, she would become angry with certain members upon the forum and the anger lasted for months in spite of her efforts to change it, and she couldn't stop obsessing about her anger. We were quite concerned about that aspect, as we could see she was making every effort to change, yet failing miserably time and again. She had her first consult with the neurologist last week and he feels as we do, that the tumour was the cause of her problems. On Wednesday it will be a month since the surgery, and none of her symptoms have returned! She does still have some anger obviously, but she has much more control over it than previous. She is now able to walk away when a situation bothers her, and she is practicing being assertive with others (rather than aggressive) and to a large extent, she is succeeding! We are so very pleased.

The difficult part for her however, is that the tumour was masking many of her true feelings, such as her pain and grief over Brian's death. With the tumour gone, the natural feelings of sadness and loss have appeared with a vengeance! She is having quite intense feelings of grief over Brian and also over her cancer. She cries every night, and has been having troubles sleeping. Though she is also able to laugh and enjoy herself each day, which is a positive sign that she is grieving in a healthy way and not becoming clinically depressed. The insomnia is a worry however and we have convinced her now to take sleeping tablets for a couple of weeks. She still is quite weak from the cancer and needs all the rest she can get.

Oh my we just received very positive news! The neurologist recommended Evie have ongoing treatment by a neuropsychiatrist, a specialist who treats organic brain disorders and mental illness when the two occur simultaneously. There is such a doctor who has worked with veterans with brain injury and PTSD combined, however his waiting list is typically 18 months. However we only now received a phone call from his office, and our first appointment with him for Evie will be the beginning of December! Still a wait, however 2 months is far preferable to 18 months!