Jim, I apologise if my question inferred to Evie as a child as I totally understand and respect she is an adult. Bad choice of words I guess and was not my intention. Sorry.

Interacting online while in the same room is interesting as Anthony and I are often in the same room on computers and I sometime send him messages. Anthony discourages me in doing this saying we are in the same room and he would rather speak to me in person. I think what you are saying is a valid point irrespective of PTSD.

Ah please no worries Nicolette. If anyone is guilty of not thinking of Evie as an adult it is yours truly. I was speaking more to myself - trying to convince this tired old head she is not a little girl anymore. Easier said than done. ;-)

Jim.

Evie has gone for another treatment and medical procedure today. Friends of ours accompanied her, as we are having our weekend in the city. It occurred to me, this is the first time since she was diagnosed with cancer, that Evie has gone to hospital without a family member present. I felt reluctant to let her go, and I am concerned about things going well today. Our friends are lovely people and I am certain she will do well with them, only I can't seem to help worrying. Evie is an adult as Jim says above, and at some point we need to stop being so overprotective. It may be good for her to be at the doctor's without us for once, perhaps an important step for her, in her independence. At least I am trying to tell myself that.

I don't think any parent ever stops thinking of their child as "their baby" it's natural and I do believe it's an instinct sort of. They are reasured to feel that love and feeling that protectivness lets them know they are safe. The trick is to figgure out how to let them test the waters of adulthood without us as parents freaking out LOL Ever wonder why you get grey hair when you get old?! LOL

Just my opinion -- I don't think we ever stop being over protective of those we love. We just let them grow and vent to our friends about how scared we are for them. Usually they do just fine. Sometimes we find they still need some assistance. As long as the direction is toward growth - it's progress. Maybe we need to get rid of the "over" word. There is nothing wrong with being concerned about someone you love as long as you still let them grow.

I agree with you Zoe. Sometimes my mother frustrates me by treating me as a child and I have to step back and remind myself that is her way of caring...........

Thank you ladies. I am definitely too much of a mother at times, or most of the time, if I'm honest. Nicolette, I am likely much as your mother unfortunately. All my children get irritated with me at times. Zoe, I do appreciate your comment. I like to believe I am letting Evie grow, so perhaps my caring is not too overdone, as you say.

Unfortunately, we returned home from our trip early, due to Jacob getting into serious trouble. We are very disappointed in him, and uncertain what our further actions are to be, but they will be severe. We also returned to find Evie badly depressed. We knew she was getting down about things when we left, however she is quite worse now. The radiation therapy is starting to have its cummulative effect, in that she is more tired, and she has been experiencing nausea, vomiting and diarrhea, which we were hoping she didn't have to go through this time. However since they are radiating her abdomen, the doctor informed us that GI problems are inevitable.

She requires a great deal of rest, and will continue to become more tired as the treatments progress. I am certain feeling tired and ill much of the time does not improve her mood. Further, it is difficult to ascertain what part of her mood is the effects of the cancer treatment and what part is PTSD. However, Jim and I intend to not let the depression get any worse, regardless of its cause. We are pushing her, though trying to be gentle about it. We are insisting that she get up for meals, get dressed and spend some time with the family during the day, and some time outside as well. And Jim plans on continuing taking her for drives, daily if he can manage it. As a passenger naturally, as she is too ill to practice her driving right now.

An unhappy note as well, and no doubt also contributing to her depression, and to our worry... the results of Evie's bone marrow biopsy, received yesterday, were not good. She may need to begin chemotherapy once more as a result. Not certain yet however, more tests are required, but I will leave it at that until I have more details. In any event, we are not going to permit her to give up.

It is certainly disappointing news. However. As my wife says, we are not letting her give up so easily. Being positive in outlook helps in healing. I for one won't let Evie forget that.

Jim.

My heart goes out to all of you for the pain, and suffering that continues to knock at your door.

Cancer is an evil, evil, thing to have to deal with. I am so sorry, and just feel helpless. I wish that there was more that I could do.

Just know that I will keep you in my thoughts....Stay strong, and stay loved.....

Wendy

Jim and Kathy, I am most disappointed to hear that your weekend away was interrupted and you had to come home early as I know Evie wanted you to have a wonderful time. I personally know she put a great deal of time and thought into finding a way of thanking you for all you do. It is unfortunate but I guess the gesture in it self was priceless considering her being ill and still making the arrangements.

Evie is lucky to have you both and at the same time is an amazing woman to have the strength to keep soldiering on..... even if it is with your gentle nudging to keep her going.

My heart goes out to you all with the kindest of wishes.