You have to just stop sometimes and ask...."Why do some people have to suffer so much, when there are such assholes in the world that are more worthy of it???" Why do the good ones always have to suffer the most????

Jim, I am so sorry......it's at time like this I wish that I had something better to say. Saying I am sorry just sounds so empty...

Give soft hugs to Evie for me....And some for you and Kathy too.

Wendy

Wendy, have you read the book "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" by Rabbi Harold Kushner? It is quite good, he wrote it to help himself deal with his son's terminal illness. There is some spirituality in it obviously, being written by a rabbi, but I have found it to be a wonderful resource, I used to recommend it to clients frequently. And if you are Christian, C.S. Lewis' book "The Problem of Pain" is also a marvelous resource.

Evie's tests went very well today, her vomiting and nightmares were stress related. Not to minimize the situation in the slightest, only I wanted to make it clear Evie actually did well at the clinic. I believe the stress is simply becoming very overwhelming for her. She is very up and down emotionally, and understandably so.

Kathy,

I hope that I didn't offend you in anyway. I just have a very hard time dealing with other people's illness. It upsets me greatly, when I hear of someone that has been though so much, and yet seems to have to keep going through crap over and over again. It's not that I wish for anyone else to have the pain, but why always the good ones.

On June 2nd of this yr. One of my customers lost their 15 yr old son to Cystic Fibrosis. Drew was the kindest,giving, most understanding child I had ever known. NEVER once in the 10 yrs that I knew him did he ever complain about his illness. He accepted his dying and impending death with the utmost dignity of anyone I had ever known. He lived as he died with faith, honor, and love. It was an unfair death in my book. I accept Drew's death, but i don't understand it. Just as I don't understand why, with everything that Evie has been through, she continues to have to go through more....

Sorry for my rambling...

Wen

Certainly you did not offend me Wendy. Far from it. I only felt concerned that you seemed quite upset, and I wanted to offer my reassurance that Evie will be all right. It is perhaps arrogant and presumptuous of me, but I do truly believe in my heart, and because of my faith, that it is not yet Evie's time to leave this earth. Yes, she may have to suffer more than most, she already has, but I believe she will live to see much better days. In fact I believe her experiences are preparing her for a very exciting future. Perhaps I am biased, but I believe she will accomplish great things in life.

Sorry about Drew, he sounds like a special boy. CF is indeed a devastating illness. Honestly Wendy, you really should read the book by Rabbi Kushner, it explains so well, for me at least, why good people suffer, and not in the traditional Christian sense either, but from Kushner's Jewish perspective, which is quite unique. Truly, it may be of some help to you.

My beliefs are the same as yours Kathy - life only dishes out what we can handle and sometimes it's not until you have suffered that you can get to see how wonderful your life is as your appreciation is so much greater.

Evie had an extremely difficult time yesterday, severe nightmares and vomiting, triggered by having to go to the cancer clinic no doubt. It was one of the most severe attacks we've seen her have, we truly were quite concerned. Against his better judgement, Jim finally gave Evie a couple of shots of Irish whiskey at 1 in the morning, and that put her out for the night. Today she is exhausted, so is Jim. They are both in bed at the moment! Unfortunately Evie must return to the clinic for a radiation treatment in the morning! I do hope both she and Jim get a good rest.

I hope it is all right for me to mention this, however thank you very much Rob and Jodee for the platypus, we received the parcel today and Evie loves it. Unfortunately Chairman Meow loves it too, I have had to put it up high where he can't get at it. I will take a photograph of it in Evie's room, possibly with the cat present, and post it here, as soon as I can find batteries for the camera!

My heart goes out to all of you! Just remember.. when you walk outside at night and look up at the moon.. its the same moon all of us on here are under too! You never know when someone is looking up at that same moon thinking about you... and hoping and praying for Evie to get better soon!

Hi Kathy,

I will continue to send Evie anything I think might lift her spirits. And I don't require a response as I know how tired she gets. I'm not giving up on that girl - don't even think it!

I also had such a laugh the other night when Evie said Jim was sending her PMs to go to bed because he couldn't get her on the mobile phone. (Sorry, Evie, but it was pretty funny!)

Evie may not have shared this tidbit with you yet, but a few days ago I sent her a link to the Mobile Phone Throwing World Championship contest which is held in Finland - quite a hoot! You might want to check it out, especially given evident current happenings in your household :)

All my prayers and best wishes for you and your family,

Hodge

Hi Kathy I hope she is feeling a bit better today!
Jen

Thank you once again ladies. Damiea, funny you mention the moon, as in our family we have often said that very thing about the moon whenever we are separated from each other.

Evie had a dreadful night, I gather she was up angry and crying for most of it, though both Jim and I were sound asleep and didn't learn of it until morning. To be honest, I wish she would have waked me. Jim did need to rest as he is driving her to the clinic again today, but I had no plans and I do wish she would have come to me. However she still feels she is a burden on us, and tries to give us space. The problem is, the times she thinks to give us space are the times she really needs us... and truthfully she is NOT a burden, we are quite accustomed to having her in our home now, she fits in quite nicely for the most part, and we would miss her if she were not here. I know I personally dread the day when she is well enough to venture out on her own again, I will be as sad as I was when my sons left home.

In any event, she and Jim have gone to the clinic once more, as Friday is Evie's weekly radiation treatment. This week was a bit much for her I believe, with two trips to the clinic rather than one. It appears she will be beginning chemotherapy treatments in a couple of weeks' time in addition to the radiation, and we are pushing for her to have both treatments on the same day, as well as any tests she may need. That may seem a bit much all at once, but the alternative is her going back and forth to the clinic 2-3 times weekly. I personally feel that would be worse and more stressful for her. If everything happens on one day, she has all week to prepare for that day, and the rest of the week to relax at home. If anyone here has input please share it, I feel it is a sensible course of action, but I could be mistaken, please let me know your opinions.