I never did say I was perfect... after all, I do have this shitty illness myself, but I make the most of it nowadays... Just some clarification from the loved one dobbing on me for some of my moments. :)

Why do they do that I will cook a meal he doesnt feel well so doesnt eat it. An hour later standing at the fridge eating Caramello chocolate
You seem to have a bit of patience Kerri Anne I seem to have a bit of a problem trying to help him when he doesnt seem to want help.
As I said last night life has to go on I HAVE to get up every morning and go to work.
Anthony might be able to answer this for me.
When my husband is laying in bed in the morning I go in say bye see you tonight. I would think most normal men would get out of bed or have a feeling of guilt that the wife has gone of to work I shouldnt be laying in bed while she goes to work!
But no he just seems to roll over and it will all go away?
Jen

Jen, he doesn't know what to do at present. He certainly isn't having rational thoughts, and is most likely more concentrated on what is going on inside him to just get through each day, regardless of his location. Lets face facts... depression is a killer, and what your husband is suffering in regards to laying in bed all day, no motivation, no energy, etc, is depression at its finest. To even get around to tackling anxiety and his trauma, he has to beat depression first, so he can sustain the motivation required to get himself better.

Sure, our illness makes us physically sick at times, but the depression side of things is mostly curable by itself, its just that with PTSD, it is not, and will return or try and return once controlled. Once you have beat depression, it is easy enough to maintain it, without all the extra work that is required to just beat it in the first place.

He needs to focus, he needs to know that what he is going through is depression, and that depression will kill him if not fixed. If the mind and body isn't active, then they shutdown. Obviously being still young, that won't kill him directly, but the more he is defeated by it, the more he will start to think about suicide, ending his pain, etc etc, or if severe enough, he could start getting other problems as a result of his inactivity.

Lots of people in the world struggle each morning to get going, with or without PTSD and depression, and this needs to be realised. What he needs to do is FORCE himself, or BE FORCED out of bed and into the shower. Once he has woken up, he should be good for a while. He needs something to keep him busy, but not something that he is going to throw himself into and use as an excuse to suppress his symptoms, and deny anything is wrong, because that doesn't work. He needs a daily routine, he needs a hobby, an interest, something more than just things around the house, but something outdoors even. He needs to take a giant leap and see if there are organizations that he could join to be with others off like interests, etc.

He will need kicking... if ignored, it will get worse.

Jen,

I often will offer to cook Anthony a meal or get him something substantial to eat and he says no. Usually I give it another go about 1/2 an hour later but if he says not to that well I just let it go. You can't fight all battles with them and win, in fact if you win any at all it should be considered a major victory.

I don't know about patience, in fact it is wearing thin tonight as we are having sleep issues with the toddler........all my fault no less. I just try and let the rubbish slide although it is a little harder while I am pregnant. Sometimes its just not worth the effort to bother with Anthony's rubbish. It would be in your husbands best interests to get out of bed and participate in something, exercise, hobby, life even. Is it possible to get someone else, even part-time to help with the business? Just so that you could have a break? It would be hard not to become resentful when you are working your ass off and he is laying in bed as you head there.

Wow. I thought it was just part of my husbands personality that he was "lazy" at times. This is an eye opener!! My hubby goes through times when, especially on weekends, he will not get out of bed. I am thankful that he does get up on Monday morning and go to work. The eating thing too... I thought he just didn't have an apetite some days. I am actually excited when he lets me cook a meal for him. Wow again. I will add that when it comes to sleeping....I've learned to let it go I guess because he only has short periods of time when he seems to shut down. The eating thing....I let that go too. If he is hungry enough...he'll eat. Estellemunro, Jen...I know its hard. We are all here for you and we know what you are going through.

Thank you for your support everyone. I had a feeling its depression Anthony its annoying when he goes to see the Pysch and nothing seems to change just different tablets or increase dosage on what he is taking now! Kerri Anne its funny I dont feel resentment that he is is bed and I am working. I think its because he is not there and I really do need my space from him.
I am cranky knowing that he could be doing things around home but thats
not happening at the moment. Even little things seem to be a challenge to him its easier just to do it yourself!
Jen

Jen, just know though, that whilst you do do everything for him, he will sit back longer. Maybe that is one sneaky way to get him moving, in leave some things that are important to him, that would really get him pissed off if not done, and allow him to fix it himself instead of you doing it...

It may get him going atleast, may not...

Hi Anthony he has a bird aviary he has fish tanks I just filled the fish tanks with water as he was neglecting them I left a note yesterday to feed his birds and water them!! I dont know can he see that these sort of things have to be done?
These sort of things were important to him but I cant let things go to long when he doesnt do them.
I had a bit of a chat to him this afternoon and asked how he was feeling he just shrugs and says not great,I just took him around to his mate who is TPI maybe he might pick himself up a bit?

Atleast he is up and socialising... and his mate being TPI, would atleast mean he can talk with someone who directly understands, because obviously his mate has PTSD also to be TPI in the first place. Providing his mate is helping himself with his illness, and not just getting pissed constantly, that visit could help him, or more of those visits.

Thanks Anthony thats right at least he went somewhere and doesnt sit at home drinking. That would be the last straw if he did that. He only had a couple of beers tonight not a big drinker. Takes a LOT of medication though which is another problem.
Jen