I see this as progress in the making Jen. Maybe begin scheduling routine drops to his mates house, he doesn't drink much so that is great, and this will atleast get him up and about more than currently... which can then lead into going for a walk with you, which will lead into him beginning his own routine again and being more active. Its a start... well done.

Thanks Anthony I am going to try and get him in to see another Pysch the one he sees really is busy and we cant get in to see him enough. He went and saw Martha at PTSD clinic twice but then kept making excuses for not going. The two times he did see her he seemed to open up a bit and talk to me. I will really try to get him to go back.
Jen

Are you referring to Dr Likely by any chance? Yes, he is busy. My personal opinion... less of the Dr stuff as they only really look after the meds, and more of the Martha bookings, as she is one very experienced lady... and her appointments alone will get your husband better, providing he keeps them up. One or two isn't going to do it... more like one a week or fortnight for the next year or more.

Yes Anthony Dr Likely is the Doctor. To hard to get in to see him. I can see I need to push him to go and see Martha we actually went and had time out on the Strand yesterday it was nice. It was nice to get him out of the house.
Jen

Yer, Dr Likely isn't exactly well though himself from my knowledge, and has some self careing he must also do... being time off. The strand walk would be great for you both... glad you both went and enjoyed yourselves.

I know I used to have to book months in advance, and I would blanket book and usually try and keep myself six months in advance at all times, to ensure I was atleast a priority as appointments moved. It worked well.

But yes, Michael is only a medicine man, making sure a person is not about to hurt themselves and that things are generally ok... but all the real work is done by the counsellors and social workers, being Martha and the VVCS team. I would attempt to blanket book with Martha even for six months or a year, so that way it become routine for him, even both of you, to attend regular sessions whilst he is not coping very well.

I say keep going though Jen, because you are getting him out and about, and with a little subtle manipulation, you will have him walking, exercising and careing for himself in no time... then you just have to monitor it and can do your own thing more.

Hey Jen,

Good that you both got out for a walk. Its amazing what a bit of fresh air and exercise can do for all of us.........although avoid the helicopters if you can...unlike our attempt on the weekend. The Strand is really lovely at this time of year.

I agree with Anthony, see if you can blanket book the appointments that you need as there are plenty of vets in the Townsville area but like most remote localities not nearly enough professionals to meet the needs. Martha should be good for him, although he may try to avoid her (as you have noticed) because she doesn't take any rubbish from them. One of the Vietnam Vets we met on the PTSD course sees her regularly and they seem to be having generally good results. Keep him walking, even if it is just once a week, he will soon notice the benefit and may get off his own butt and continue. Keep well and don't work too hard.

Anthony and Kerri Anne thank you for your support.
My one day of for the week I couldnt rely on him to go into work for me. He felt unwell and couldnt get out of bed ( bad stomach pains!) its so hard not to get cranky and do my block Im not one for ranting and raving ( Im a lover not a fighter ) I was so CRANKY.
He came into work just after lunch all apologetic that he couldnt come in the morning. Its starting to become a hassle relying on him to help out one day a week I dont know if its worth it. Im thinking I may get someone else to help me at work I dont know how he will feel about that.He seems to be down and I think if I say I dont want him in at work may really upset him BUT he needs to show me that I can rely on him!!
Jen

Absolutely... I totally agree. It gives him a reason to get out of bed and get moving within the day...

The only thing I want to add is that while taking a normal to relatively high dose of antidepressants my routine was basically around coffee and sleep. I only recognise now how sedated I was at that time, as I no longer knew what normal was supposed to be. As many depressants (especially Tricyclics) work by 'flattening' emotions so the negatives seem better, they can also do the same with the positives, so while the negatives may be reduced, there are also few or no great positives percieved. Effectively both sides will be knocked out equally, leaving the medicated person somewhere in the middle. Through the tapering I foudn that while I may have down times, I began to also have up times, which could be genuinely enjoyed and genuinely aided my recovery. If your partner is permanently asleep, you may want to discuss a minor tapering of their drugs with their physician over a period of weeks as per the physician's guidance.

My doctor did not know how much time I spent doing 'nothing', as I was too ashamed to discuss it. I feel enormously better energy-wise, but still remain without a lot of get up and go that I used to have and would cite that itself as the major cause of my down times. Finally, any changes need to be made in accordance with the physician, and depending on their stage of improvement.

Try to remember that you are dealing not only with someone with depression, but someone who may have an adverse side effect from the drugs regime that they are taking. I can imagine the frustration, but the person does not want to be where they are either, and may privately be struggling to understand why they 'can't do anything' or 'are not interested in anything'. It can be embarassing accepting what has happened, and the person pushing them can feel overwhelming. Not achieving basic goals can be humiliating, while for you it remains frustrating. Finding the balance is a problem, but try to remain calm and walk away if you can't be, as it helps neither of you.

I just noticed that some posts said it was hard to convince the other half to see a counsellor. At times seeing a doctor was enough to make me feel worse, as all it did was remind me of my 'madness' as I then understood it. I noticed over time that my worst times were associated with the time around my appointments, although you would never think that to look at me. These emotions remain on the inside. Having to see a doctor, claim benefits etc, reminded me of all that I had lost, as opposed to what I had to gain back.

Further, the probing questions that are needed to get to the root of the problem is often like extracting teeth for the therapist as the patient finds it hard to either relive the minutiae of their experiences (because of the triggers it holds) or becuase they feel stupid that they have had the reaction they have. It is only when I understand the full picture of what has happened that I no longer feel weak and understand that it would have happened to many, if not most others. Any 'mental illness' with whatever label remains with an enormous social stigma, which many of us also carry inside us and with us once we are in its grasp. Only once we have fully understood and appreciated it, can we move on.

Finally, it may be better for your partners to write things down to give to the therapist, as this can be much easier than having to verbally explain it.