Lovely to hear from you again Umus. I am delighted you are being pro-active in this situation, learning and discovering things as you have been. Extremely well done!

Whilst it may seem worrying that he is in intense therapy and not doing well, that is actually a positive sign that the therapy is working. If he were not feeling badly during therapy, I would question the validity of it and whether the therapist was really digging deep enough.

Talking and listening is very helpful Umus. You are already helping him a great deal simply by doing that. I understand your frustration as I often want to advise, however it usually gets me into trouble. I would offer suggestions only when he asks, never when he doesn't ask. That way you are letting him decide if he wants a suggestion or not. Impress upon him that it is only a suggestion, and there are no expectations on him to take the suggestion. And if you really feel uncomfortable with giving advice Umus, perhaps just tell him that! "I do not feel comfortable giving you advice, as I am not a therapist nor to I have PTSD". Something of that nature.

In any event, I am delighted to hear from you again Umus, and good to know things have improved for you.

Thank you Kathy, it is good to be back! I honestly feel that a lot has changed for me over the past months. All the information given on this forum is SO helpful, but I know that I still have a lot to learn. My breakthrough in all this was the moment I finally realised what PTSD is and that I can either run away from all this or stay. Maybe not as before, I am not sure if we will ever be together again, but I know that I will stay in his life and support him if he needs me. I now do give him space and let him come to me, which he does. I think it is also SO important to go on with my life and see things from different perspectives as far as relationships are concerned. There are so may different ways of relating with a loved one.
Well, I just hope I will continue to be able to see things so positive, at the moment it does look GOOD!

Yes it is extremely important to get on with your own life, regardless of what your relationship is going to be in the future. Taking care of yourself and giving him space will be helpful to both of you in the long run. Once again, well done Umus, I am very pleased when carers strive to be positive! Very refreshing to see!

Hey great new Umus. Glad things are working out for you!

Thank you Kathy and Sapper for your encouraging words. I am still hanging in there, we have had a little setback again, he is back to needing more space...He wanted to see me for Thanksgiving, on very short notice and as I live in Europe I just could not make it to the US. So now the "guilt-thing" is on for me again. I am not sure how to deal with that at the moment, on the one hand being there for him on the phone and by email, but then thinking when he really needs me I can not. Any advice on this? Thank you!