I must apologize Bec; I am still not prepared to give you as detailed an answer as I wished to. Jim and I spent most of the day at the hopital with Evie, and now I am struggling with a very slow internet connection. So I will make this brief once again and hopefully answer more in depth tomorrow.

Matt having a hospitalized assessment is a marvelous opportunity for him, especially considering the usual wait times for tests such as MRIs. I am pleased they are taking his case so seriously.

That being said though, I fully understand your trepidation. It is indeed extremely difficult to have a child or other loved one in hospital! I believe we are going through the same thing at the moment! Considering how difficult it is for to let go of Evie and not fret, I cannot begin to imagine how hard it must be for you, with PTSD as an added "bonus". Do please take care, and take comfort in the fact that Matt was happy to go for the tests. I will not say do not worry, as that would be silly, I myself am worried myself for Evie in spite of things looking positive for her. You will still worry obviously, you are a mother, and it is in the job description. And to put a positive spin on things - to me at least, your worry indicates that you are a good parent. Not worrying would be far worse in my opinion. Matt is very fortunate to have you.

Be very good to yourself and take all the rest and help you need. If you want to cry, cry, and express and talk about any emotions you wish. That is most important for all of us, PTSD notwithstanding. And perhaps if you haven't done so already, write down all you are feeling and thinking, all your emotions, worries for now and the future, questions and so on, on paper. You perhaps know this already, that writing on paper can often be more of a relief than typing. At least I have found it so, so did many of my clients. A collage using old magazines may help as well. I seem to recall you are a creative person. In any event, simply throwing out suggestions. The important thing is to talk to those who love you, talk as much as you need to, post here as much as you need (you are always welcome here in carers) and take especially good care of yourself knowing Matt is in good hands. I will comment more on Matt's specific situation once things have settled down for here!

:bighug:

Thank you.. seems crying is my reaction at this point.. Thank you so much for understanding.. and thanks for the welcome..

I will write more tomorrow.. as I'm just not in good shape.

You take good care of yourself too!

*hugs*

bec

I should clarify, Matt has not yet gone in. I'm not sure when he will, although it will most likely be this week. They wanted him in today, but due to my reaction, Matt's therapist arranged for me to meet with his psych first so I can ask questions and then decide if he goes. I've already decided that he should go. Just need to ask about visitation, phones, tests etc.. now..

Once he's in the hospital.. ugh I don't even want to think about it.

Well... atleast an MRI will tell once and for all regarding the PTSD.

Huh, good point. I know it's something that I struggle with.. as I have that slim hope that the diagnosis is wrong.. hehe I just can't seem to let that hope die..

I made myself some mint hot coco and my dog gave me hugs.. and once my pills kick in, I'm going to bed. Maybe a good night sleep will help me feel less teary and sad.

bec

Hi Bec

Putting on your carers hat I would be writing down any/all questions that you have about Matt's stay for when you see the doc. I know I did!

This is a hard time for you as a mum but you both made the move to do things to improve your family life. This is the start of good things to help you both!

Wishing you both the best during this transition.
Hugs to you!

bec..I just wanted to say, i hope you are having a better day! Take Care! pand

Ah thank you for the clarification Bec; I misread and thought Matt was already in hospital. Perhaps it is good for you that he is not going in just yet; this gives you an opportunity to adjust to the idea and ask all the questions you need to. Somewhere I have a list of questions for caregivers to ask psychiatrists, and I will search for it and send it to you. Jim and I found it most helpful. Be sure you ask all the questions and get all the answers you need; be assertive. It is your right to know and their job to tell you. Sometimes psychiatrists get irritated by too many questions, however that is wrong of them and you can tell the psych I said so! Oh dear I am becoming irritated for you already! :tongue:

I agree with Anthony, the MRI is a very positive step. However, when Evie went for hers, they did tell us that even if nothing showed up on the MRI, it was not a 100% indication or guarantee that Evie did not have PTSD. Apparently the brain changes are still somewhat theoretical, though they did find changes to Evie's brain. I apologize if that complicates matters for you, however that is what we were told.

I do hope you had a good rest last night and are feeling somewhat better. Perhaps do something especially nice for yourself and Matt today? Take good care.

So far so good this morning.

Sleep does wonders for killing that shock/stress reaction.

Well, since everyone (you guys, Ryan, Nic and even Matt) feel this is a good thing, that is what I'm going with. So, I've called Matt's therapist back and left a message that it's a go, I just need some questions answered.

It really helped reading that a hospitalized assessment was an opportunity. Kinda cleared my head for a bit. There is no way he could get all those tests done in three weeks outside of hospitalization, it would take a few years for them to do with our waiting lists. Also, Nic had told me to think of it as an physical illness. If they said Matt needed to be in the hospital for tests for such a thing, how would I react? Well, of course I would make him go.

So the decision is final. Now I just have to steel myself for it.

If they put him in this week it might work out really well. As I see my psych today and will be put on new drugs. I was worried about this phase, as drugs hit me really hard. So at least I won't have to worry about Matt being properly taken care of while I adjust to the meds. So that is positive.

Jods: thanks for the idea of writing down my questions! I need to do that. Otherwise I might end up forgetting half my questions if I get stressed out.

Anyways, I'm kinda approaching all this as business like at the moment.

bec

Ohhh a list of questions would be wonderful! Less taxing on my overworked brain!

Hehe, if they had just hospitalized him without any warning, I think I would have been put in the ward next to him! lol

I think they are hoping to rule out anything physical at this point. Since I have a history of seizures they will be digging into that one quite deep. He had an EEG when he was six, but .. lol fort was handling it and I think they have about as much respect for them as I do!

Thanks for the info on the MRI. It should be interesting to see what they say. Hell, I wish I could get one done!

bec

I am delighted you were able to get some rest last night Bec. I found the questions I was speaking of, and also a guide for family advocating for a mentally ill relative. I have posted both under Tips for Carers so others may find them easily as well. The information is quite generic; Jim and I have tailored the documents to suit our situation specifically. I do hope hope that helps.