In the last two weeks I have been doing police reports and seeing a g.p, personal support person and a psychologist. Since having to be made to go through every discusting details in statements and having to re-live them again.

I have so many more nightmares now. Where my family hate and reject me and where I am locked in a house and can not get out, always trying to get away from bad things or ppl in my dreams, it feels like i am almost going to umm go crazy and I am scared people will leave me and isolate me and forget about me.

It hurts deep inside of me all the time like something I should be ashamed of but I know it's not my fault. I am so scared what to do next legal wise.

I have to go back to that place I call hell and talk with detectives in October. I am scared. I will possibly have to show them and its going to be very hard. I am trying really hard not to fall apart. I have been writing in my journal which I am going to put into my book.

I am so so so traumatised with how many people did what they did to me and are ruining so many others lives, because they are let free to
re-offend.

It discusts me. Why aren't these people put away from society and locked up?. You know when they get out they will do it again. You would have to be dumb to think that they wouldn't.

It breaks my heart to see people suffering so much I seem to take on their problems aswell trying to fix their problems for them. The truth is I need to fix me first before I can help anyone.

I hope I can help people who knows the true meaning of pain who have suffered for any reason whatsoever.

When I am well I will try.

I know pain. In many ways shapes and forms.

Stay safe people, remember to stay strong ok. Take it easy

From Missy

P.S please don't hesitate to contct me.

Melissa, what would you say is your worst traumatic event from your abuse?

Missy, I'm glad you found this place. We are a community and all here for healing and to support one another. I can so much relate to your frustrations regarding preditors and abusers and even rapists going free with a hand slap and no appearance of real justice. I think its great that you understand that its not your fault. That is a great head start on the path to healing. Take gentle care of yourself and PM me anytime you just need a listening ear or support. Until later, Marilyn S.

I would say being sexually abused in a secondhand shop when i was 6,7,8,9 (on the way home from school) and the door was open and people were walking in and out while he sexually abused me behind the counter.

The other one that sticks out majorly in my mind, is the guy that sexually abused me in an isolated area in a car when i was 6 - 7 he had me in the drivers seat on his lap n told me to hole the steering when and i did and he touched me. So i can not drive a car due to that flashback I get and the way my body tenses up when I get in teh drivers seat of the car. Also I almost died a few times and I have been tortured. :(

Missy

Melissa, in front of you is an open paddock, within it you can put two of the following three items:

1. Grass
2. Shrubs
3. Tree's

Now, for the two of those you choose, each one must have a height, which must be one of the following for each:

1. Short
2. Medium
3. Tall

So, what two items do you see in your empty paddock and how high are each please?