Alex and I had our appt with his psyche today and we have been given a month before our next appt to make our minds up about this EMDR treatment. I have somewhat changed my opinio about this psyche as he does seem to know what he is talking about. He was trained by Dr Shapira in 94 or 95 so I guess that went in his favour. He explained that he doesn't really like using the lights though, because he prefers his patients to be able to close their eyes as he believes it helps them to picture the trauma; so instead he will be tapping Alex. I did warn him that directly after the accident another member of Alex's gu tried to pull him away and got punched, so he should be careful about touching Alex during that time! but he seems to think it will work well. I have told Alex that the decision is his however I think it is worth a try. The dr gave me some web sites to visit to have a look at and was IMO a little annoyed by all my questions. He did say that he has never had one of his patients have an adverse affect from this therapy and he has only heard of it happening once, but that that dr, who was trained, used another drs notes as the basis for the therapy instead of gaining a knowledge ofth client first hand! I told about people on here (without using names) who did not enjoy the therapy and who now have more problems and he said that if Alex starts to become too emotional he will use relaxation techniques to calm him down. He seems trust worthy though, but like I said it is up to Alex. I will let you know what he decides...
PS- Alex asked me today to take him into births deaths and marriages tomorrow to order his birth certificate, so fingers crossed he will have a licence soon. He actually apologised today for not being able to help me out more when it comes to transport so we are working through it now! Here's hoping it all goes well.

Well Tammy I've only just finished reading your thread in its entirely, and I must say well done to you for your support of Alex and your willingness to educate yourself. Really there is not much else I can say; Anthony has given you excellent advice. However I am most impressed that as a mother of young children you are so level headed and capable of supporting your husband through all this. Very well done. It is refreshing to see such a good attitude. Good luck to you and Alex, with whatever he decides.

Tammy,

Between sessions of EMDR is where the emotions are going to whomp him. Did the doctor explain this? Your hubby needs the skills to cope with this, in between appointments, and should have a good basis of meditation and grounding before starting this. Has he worked on this at all before?

I agree with Kathy, your doing wonderfully!

bec

Yes Tammy you are doing well to learn what you can I hope Alex appreciates what you are doing for him maybe later he will?
As for the doctor getting annoyed with all your questions!
Too bad you ask as many questions as you like dont let him brush you off!!

I told the dr as soon as we walked in that he wouldn't be speaking to Alex much. I warned him that I had questions and that I wanted answers. I don't really care how he feels about my questions, in my opinion it is his job to answer them.
He did say that in Alex's appt in a months time they will work on some exercises where Alex will learn to calm down again after an attack if he has any. He says that he isn't going to push Alex at all and that if I am having problems at home after the sessions that I can call him and he will fit us in again asap that day. I can't as for much more from the man so I just have to believe in him and that this treatment will work.
I know Alex does appreciate what I do for him; sometimes though it just annoys me to know that at the time it is all my responsibility. He does hlp me out heaps at home and stuff so it's not all bad.
I asked the Dr what would happen if Alex had a really bad reaction and I started to fear for me and the boys and he said that if that happened, which he highly doubts, then he will put Alex in hospital- obviously if my fears are bad enough for that to need to happen.
I am hoping for the best. Alex still hasn't made up his mind but it has only been one day...

Hi Tammy

I don't know much about any of this but I hope whatever decision Alex makes works out for the best for all of you.

Thats for your wishes. I appreciate it. And I also hope it works out for the best.

Tam, if he was trained by Dr Shapiro herself, he should be just fine at EMDR and well aware of the methods to obtain best results. I have not heard of a doctor yet trained directly from her that has stuffed up majorly. You don't get any better than being trained from the creator herself, being Dr Shapiro. Trust you gut, and if that says the doctor knows what he is doing and saying, go with that. Women's intuition is a powerful tool.

thanks Anthony.
The dr did say he has only ever heard of one case where the EMDR didnt work. The dr who performed it was trained by Dr Shapira, but he used another drs notes instead of talking ot the patient first hand. He said the patient ended up having a psychotic break and was in hospital for a week, and then finished the treatment after the dr did his own observations. He said apart from that he has never heard of it not working. Like I told Alex I think it worth a try. He still hasnt made up his mind but he still has three and a half weeks to do that. SO here's hoping it all goes well.

And thanks heaps for the support everyone, I really do appreciate knowing I not just an interfering bitch...

Oh my no Tammy you are most definitely not an "interfering bitch" ! You are demonstrating much maturity and concern in this, Alex is fortunate to have you. More carers should be as you are Tammy. Keep up the marvelous effort.