Hi, I went to college in 1994 after completing 2 years of therapy to get out of my OCB disorders. Over eating, anorexia, drinking, and shop lifting. I did considerably well maintaining 3.8 GPA. Then I was in a car accident and fractured my skull with brain hemorrhaging, and 6 other injuries that made me stay in the hospital for one month. I lost my memory for a month and it took about 4 months to remember most things. I have short term memory even worse after the wreck than before it.

It took one year before I felt Ok and went back to school against the doctor's orders. I flunked all my classes the first two quarters.

Finally, I started doing better in remembering and my grades went back up and was getting 3.2 GPA, but the PTSD kicked in. I didn't know I had it back then.

I spoke to several teachers to let them know I couldn't sleep at night and was having nightmares due to the rape when I was 15. Some helped me out by letting me take my tests when I could, and turn in my home work late with no penalties, and others didn't care.

I managed to graduate with my associate degree in the Paralegal Filed with a minor in Business Administration. The week of final exams my father was murdered and it took 3 months before I was able to take the final exams. But I did it, then had a nervous breakdown. Timing!

I waited about a year and went to a university to get my bachelors degree, and completed all of my electives, but came to an impasse and didn't know what I really wanted to do considering I couldn't hold a job more than 3-4 months.

For a while I felt going to school was a waste of my time and money (25,000 in debt from student loans) because I can't hold a job, and now going on disability. However, during this healing phase I'm going through now, I've realized that it was a wonderful experience. I learned a whole lot, and I actually completed something worthwhile even though I can't use it.

I think you can complete college. It would be nice to find out which teachers will understand your situation and help you like they did me. Just be careful in knowing which ones you can trust. Try to stay away from your triggers as much as possible and just go into it with positive thinking that "You Can Do It"

Good Luck and I hope this info helps you in some way.
Tammy

What specifically was it about college/unversity that you had problems with? What was it like sitting in class? small? Large classrooms?

I went to college for my associate degree in the day time. I could barely stay awake in the classes from lack of sleep.

The people who disrupted the class and talked a lot triggered my aggravation because I need quietness while trying to complete things. I have ADD as well.

I was able to give a speech in front of the classroom with no problem? I prepared myself real well for this because of my depression issues.

The school was a private one and the classrooms only had 15 students in them at the most. The average class was about 8 students so that helped with my issues of being in crowds.

When I went to the university, which was much larger than the previous college, the crowds made me a little anxious.

I went to classes in the evening so walking out to my car was very scary for me.

Some of the teachers were helpful with my depression and some did not care.

The bright lights in the classrooms really bothered me, because I can't stand bright lights and loud noise.

I think the small college was harder because it was more demanding. When I went to the university I didn't overload myself with classes. I think that is very important to know. If one takes too many classes and it stresses them out, that will only trigger other things, and that will make it more difficult to complete the classes.

Hope this helped.
Tammy

That reminds me of one good thing about my college experience...my psychology professor wasn't judgemental about my depression. I had some good talks with her about it and when I had my first nervous breakdown, she accompanied me to the hospital and made sure everything was all right before she had to leave. That made the experience less frightening for me than it would have been otherwise.

being a mature student at uni, there are a few things which set me apart to start with, ive already done the sex drugs rock n roll stuff and got over it, the main problem is sleep, i like quiet and halls are noisy places, made me grumpy, i wrote a lot of rubbish last year and managed 65% which wasnt too bad but ended up a bit like a zombie with a mix of lack of sleep and other stuff, one other thing which may be just me or could be a generation thing, they thought i was a dark scary type because ive done seen and been involved in a lot of things over the years and can talk about life experiences, that and im not a very fashionable person, mostly noise and agravation are the problems with uni, bouncy highly opinionated political kiddies can be agravating at times, and i need sleep, my sleep patterns are screwy to start with but are easily mucked up by noise and aggravation, also find i have a bit of a short fuse when it comes to dealing with general sillyness, part age and part a disposition to not liking to be the butt of a joke or deal with the usual student gags, not sure i said much but noise sleep and aggravation/ anxiety are the main things.

I went to college, and it was a struggle the whole way through. Concentration while studying was very poor, so I just forced myself to study 3 times longer than everyone else. I knew something was wrong, very wrong, and I even went in for counseling on several occasions.
But that was 1978 - 1988, and for whatever reason, none of the counselors must have ever heard of PTSD.
I barely made passing grades. I could not sleep the night before a major exam, so while taking the exam I was so tired I could barely blink.
The studying I did end up paying off. I got my degree in pharmacy in 1988, but still had to take a national board exam. I took the national boards of pharmacy licensure examination, (NABPLEX), in August 1988. I made sure I got some sleep the night before the exam by taking a small dose of Ativan and made a 99.
I have a friend from a rival pharmacy school who once told me, 99 out of 250 ain't too bad.
That's kind of funny, but it was 99 out of 100.
Good luck to you, it can be done.

I drop out of high school, now trying to go back to adult high school, and hopefully university I even dropped out of adult high school last year, but it just something you need to do with lots of support around you.

What helped me keep going in a Universty is the support system I have. Starting on year 6. Even though it will take me eight years to graduate, it will be worth it.

It has been interesting reading everyones posts. I think everyone various between the what the trauma is and how far in the healing proccess they are of how will they handle the stress of college/university.

This applies to me, so I thought i would reply!! I'm in my 3rd year at university (AKA College). In all honesty, it is a bloody hard struggle, and it hasn't got much easier. However, I had special allowances last year because of a crisis. Though they do not know I have PTSD, they know that I have trauma if that makes sense. They know I had childhood sexual abuse, and that the police were involved last year, and that I have chronic sleep problems. Last year I was considered to have Personal Extenuating Circumstances, and this meant that late submission penalties were waivered. If I had to hand something in late, it was okay. It also meant that when it came to my exams, they simply told me to sit what I could, and then what I couldn't sit, I would sit in the re-sit period - but as a first sit so it didn't affect any of my grades. This also meant that if I got a grade that was touching on the boundary of a higher classification, they would bump me up into that classification, given that with my circumstances my performance would be lower than if I didn't have mitigating circumstances.

I also had these allowances for my A Level exams (sort of like High School finals for anyone who doesn't know what they are), and it was a big help, particularly as with those ones I also got extra time in the exams.

My experience has been one of a lot of stress! However, with living with PTSD, it is also about keeping as organised as I can so that when I have a good day I can take full advantage to allow for any really bad days. I spend all of my time trying to keep the trivial stresses dealt with, since I have constant stress with PTSD. This is difficult, and it takes a lot of conscious effort but I have managed so far. The biggest impact it has had, has been on my social life. It simply sends my cup overflowing, with trying to manage study and myself, and now also therapy which always knocks me off track the few days after, and then everything that comes with PTSD. I have not been able to invest in much of a social life because it cuts into time I need to keep myself straight. It is very important that I make sure I have time to myself every day... it's like if I don't have that quiet time, I cannot cope or process anything. For me, it really is pot luck on if I can perform to my potential, or if PTSD stops that. I hope that the PTSD will be at bay enough to let me get a grade I want. At times I have considered dropping out, but I have settled on accepting the fact that PTSD may cause me to fail or get a bad grade. And if that happens then I decide whether I need time out to sort the PTSD out a bit more, or if I am going to try again until I get there. But it doesn't do much for confidence, when you know that you are spending twice as much time TRYING to concentrate, and that all that effort sometimes is not paying off. My grades reflect my psychological state.... they are either good grades at times when I have had a better time of it with PTSD, or they are awful grades when PTSD got the better of me and stopped me. My first year, it balanced out. Last year, I came out with a mediocre grade that could have been better. But under the circumstances I did well considering. They say most students have a level profile of grades... mine are really erratic.

Oh cool, I'm similar to you... I'm doing psychology which relates to PTSD this year too!

Challenges: keeping myself from meltdown. Trying to get better whilst under stress, which is not easy. Trying to manage and balance study time with personal time, and trying to adapt that to times where my PTSD takes over. At the moment, I have had a bad start to my 3rd year and am spending most of my time trying to get my symptoms down so that I can get down to studying. I think the biggest challenge with doing a degree and having PTSD is learning to cope with what is normal stress to most students, which if I let it, would push me well over the edge. I have to monitor myself and recognise when it is not worth trying to study and better to work on myself, or better to study through a bad day if I can. It is also a problem in the opposite direction... I can't fully get down to the most difficult stuff in therapy because I know if I have a deadline that I won't cope with it. So both treating PTSD, and academic study becomes a slower process.

As mentioned before, social life for me. But in reality I think all stress of any kind, academic or otherwise, affects a person with PTSD. Specifically with studying and PTSD, concentration is a huge, huge problem. Sleep is another because some days I cant get to a 9 o clock lecture. Depression is never good either as that affects motivation. Anxiety is a problem too for concentration. I also find it difficult being around a lot of people, which can sometimes cause me a problem in lectures with 200 students! Noise has a similar affect.

I think as someone else mentioned, being a bit older when going to study with PTSD has helped me. I only started 2 years later than everyone else, however I don't feel I have missed out socially. It has also helped me to accept that I am very different to the average student.... PTSD makes me feel so alone, but if I am older, people are not too surprised if you seem a bit different or less eager to go out all the time.

Also, I have access to free, confidential, counselling services, which can only be a good opportunity. This gives me some support within the university, and also a 'safety net' for if anything goes wrong, I have someone who can write a letter on my behalf to apply for extenuating circumstances this year should I need it.



I'm not entirely sure what you are asking here... can you elaborate what you mean?

Hope this is helpful. If I think of anything else I'll come back and post it.

To add to that.... small classes are better generally. However, there is always more pressure because you can't 'disappear' in a small class the same way that you can in a lecture so it can feel more invasive and pressurising. Larger lectures are better for pressure... you can slip in if you're late! And there is little/no demand to participate, lectures you just sit back and listen- though I don't like lots of people, or a lot of noise.

My personal ideal situation would be lots of smallish lectures.

Something else I thought of.... I now have to have one on one sessions witha supervisor for my dissertation. This is really challenging to me, I don't like being in a room with a closed door with a man, it is effort with my therapist as it is let alone a lecturer who isn't necessarily trained to deal with that issue, or doesn't know about it. The pressure of being one on one has had me more anxious, and my supervisor has noticed it. And like you, I become more reactive.... which was embarrassing last time because he now thinks I'm an angry person and I'm not!

PS. I'm 22. And you mentioned dorm rooms... in the UK most universities have houses/flats/ halls where you have your own room. If i had to share a room with someone, there is no way I would have considered going to university!

Good on you for managing it!