Thats no good Kathy is she vomitimg? If so it may be food poisoning?
If hubby eats to much junk he gets the irritable bowel that comes on severe.
He dragged himself out of bed at 1pm and said he had a headache he tested his sugar it was up ( HELLO!!)
I hear you guys are getting a bit of weather Jods!
My son just sent me a text he is driving back to Adelaide from Newcastle gee I hope he is careful he was about 7 hours out of Adelaide.

I do believe it may be food poisoning. She was vomiting and has had diarrhea and heartburn as well. She seems a bit better this morning, however I am tempted to ring the restaurant and notify them. Not to complain however simply to inform them in case others were also ill after eating there that particular evening!

Oh my that would almost be funny Jen if it weren't for his diabetes. Honestly!

Probably wouldnt hurt to let them know Kathy just in case there was a problem with their preparation of food.
Knowing Maccas they will bend over backwards and offer free meals for a life time
Yeh he seems to be selfdestructing with his diet! I eat very healthy so its not as if we are in the same pattern?

I after some opinions on which way to go here?
He is not getting out of bed till late I run the business and am ok with that.
He does the one day a week thats all he could handle!
The thing is that one day he works I am constantly waking him up to get out of bed and I can feel myself getting wound up every Tuesday morning wondering if he will get in to work if he doesnt I can go in but we agreed it is my one day of to socialise with the girls from golf.
I am tempted to hire someone to do Tuesdays next year to save me worrying all the time will he or wont he?
I have mentioned it to him a couple of times he said we cant afford it but we can!
I wonder if I do this will he go further downhill then he wont have to get out of bed at all on that day but on the other hand it will save me some stress?
Thanks Jen

Jen, is your business open every single day? If so, could you afford to have it closed one day a week? Perhaps not Tuesday necessarily however the least busiest day of the week? Not saying closure would be the general rule on that day, however if you mentally prepared yourself for the possibility of the business being closed on your husband's day to work, perhaps you could go socialize without feeling any worry or guilt?

Really Jen, one day a week is not much for him to be working, unless he is very ill. If he does not wish to hire someone, then he must go in, as that is your agreement. Yes he is ill, however you also have needs, and you deserve a day off without worry. I would not enable him by making certain he is up, and so on. You are not his mother. Place the responsibility squarely on him, and go enjoy yourself. If as a result the business is open late or not open at at all, it is his resposibility entirely as per your agreement. Let him suffer the consequences if he loses money on that day. If he needs to change the rules of the agreement in future that is acceptable, however he must compromise (by agreeing to hire someone, for example) and not expect you to be running the business constantly without any break.

Thanks Kathy no we need to be open for 5 days a week as we provide a service. I go over to golf at 7.30 am and put the phone in his room and wake him up knowing he will not get out of bed until at least 8am.
He asks me to ring him in 20 mins to make sure he is up he just has so much troublewaking up!
As you said I am not his mother are you sure about that

Sometimes it is difficult to tell, isn't it? I have the same problem at times, though thankfully not often.

Perhaps you should make sure he is completely out of bed before you leave for golf? Yes that would be earlier for him, however could he not go to bed earlier on Monday nights? That way when you leave, you know he is awake and may leave the house without worry. Alternately you could invest in a very loud alarm clock. Either way I do think he should have more responsibility for getting himself out of bed, especially as it is only one day a week and he refuses to hire someone.

The other thing is, could you not hire someone for half a day, as in mornings only? I know he thinks you can't afford it, however a half day would only be half the money? And as you say you can afford it, anyhow!

Merely throwing out different ideas for you Jen, which may or may not work. I do feel though you deserve one day a week to yourself without worry and your husband should be able to grasp this. If not, he is being quite selfish in my opinion.

Thanks for those ideas Kathy he still says he is ok to work that one day after talking to him about it.
The loudest alarm clock may wake him but doesnt get his butt out of bed.
He has tried going to bed early it doesnt seem to help.
Selfish you say I dont think a person is selfish if he only has to work one day a week and when the wife comes home from work he is sitting in front of the tele the wife cooks tea the wife gets the clothes of the line the wife feeds the animals!!
Sorry had to get that out oh thats right he has an illness
Life goes on and I cant see it changing much at all for me for a while especially with owning a business. But I enjoy the business and can cope but a little help would be nice?

May I interject from a sufferer's point of view here?

The whole he's hard to wake and I have to wake him up makes me an enabler really bothers me. I guess I just disagree.

Sleep issues are so huge for us. We get sleep but we have nightmares and toss and turn. We don't get sleep and we are freaking zombies with symptoms running rampant. We have medications that sedate or knock us out which can leave us further exhausted or create the first two scenarios. Etc, Etc..

I do not wake up. If I get to sleep there is no waking me up. It takes two alarm clocks, numerous yelling and kicking the bed from my kid, the phone ringing multiple times before I remotely understand what is going on and that I should be getting up. Half the time someone thinks I'm awake and I'm not.

Now if I haven't sleep good for a few days (or god forbid a few weeks) triple the task of waking me up once I'm asleep. If meds are involved, hell anything goes. It can change day to day for me!

Then you can add in the whole depression scenario on top of this and see how lovely it really gets!

I keep hearing the term lazy, not taking responsibility, mothering, enabling. But really, is it? All I'm asking is that this is taken into consideration with your sufferer. I know nothing pisses me off more than having those attitudes tossed my way when I suffer so much over my sleep (and that's just the sleep issue) to begin with.

bec

Okay now I'm going to interject too haha because I've been following this thread for a while. I totally get what you're saying Bec, it is really hard to wake up, and when you're depressed it's hard to do anything at all. I've been immobilized for 3 days straight now. But I would never expect Mum and Dad to wake me up on a day they were supposed to have off and be doing fun things together or having a break. I can't expect them to constantly be doing things for me. If we had a family business where I agreed to work one day and it was too much for me, I wouldn't expect them to make sure I got to work on time every single week. If I had chronic trouble with it, I would arrange to go to work later or I would ask to not work anymore. Jen has offered to hire someone on her day off, and her husband refuses, and I think that's unreasonable. He can't have it both ways. I don't know, those are just my thoughts on it. I try to take some responsibility for my actions. If I'm not feeling well I just say so and I don't expect my family to prod me to do things.