I didn’t mean to blow off the whole menopause part of my answer. I was tired last night and it just slipped my mind. When my symptoms first started, they mimicked a lot of peri-menopause symptoms. Since things have calmed down with my symptoms, I don’t have the peri-menopause symptoms any longer. But since I’ll be 40 in four months, I’m sure that things are starting to get onto that slow down spiral towards the big M. Gee…it gets worse when you add menopause to PTSD??? Boy, I can’t wait! *rolling eyes*

Wendy, you said don’t fight and just let it go. Sorry, hon…no can do. For me, everything about my PTSD has been a fight to get back to some sort of normal. Even if it’s been a normal that I’ve had to reinvent for myself. And if the battle is partly fought by me doing word puzzles and such…so be it. But to not fight (for me) is to give in to it. And I’m just too damn stubborn to give in.

Rather than ignoring these ‘moments’ when they happen to me, I’ve begun to pay attention. There’s really no rhyme or reason or pattern to them. It’s almost like there’s a short circuit in my brain. Sometimes it’s really short lived and other times it hangs on for a while. Saturday was a big ‘hang on for a while’ day. Today at work, I was filling out a form and the first line was ‘Date’. I remember staring at the page for most of a minute. Not only could I not remember what date is was, I couldn’t understand what the word ‘Date’ meant. Then things clicked back and I was able to continue. But these intermittent brain shutdowns are a real pain in the ass. But they come and go at their whim. Of course when my symptoms kick up, so do these. For the longest time I blamed it on the meds. Then I blamed it on the withdrawals from the meds. Now, since it’s not going away, I guess the blame goes onto my brain and what the PTSD has done to it.

Lisa

Hi Marlene,

I too, am doing the menopause thing-- yup it sucks there is no way around that.

At least the ranger doesn't have that to deal with, Thank God. Ranger has a lot of issues with the memory thing.. Some of it is meds, some of it PTSD, some of it is ..

I am sorry to hear it is soooo frustrating for you. ranger gets that way as well and then he gets mad and yells. The poor dogs come and crawl under my chair lol. He's not yelling at them -- just in general. I usually attempt to determine what the cause is and then go from there.
It would be frustrating to feel like you are losing the information that you are so acustom to recalling.
It sounds like it's not really gone, but a little slow in coming back to you..Hopefully that will be encouraging that it is there.

Any way Hang in there, I wish I could say or do something to help.


Take Care
Donna
aka/wildcritter

Lisa, I first want to say I know I am late here. I have not been reading the forum at all except for one posting I did in a few days now.

OK, that said. Intelligence dropping. I know exactly what you are talking about. It is not things like common sense (though that can slip) or times of just high anxiety. It is like your overall IQ just took a nose dive.

I consumed codes and scripts and when I had my breeding program, genetics and general biology. It is like where did all that info go? Just "poof" went away. This was after my PTSD symptoms began.

Like others I do puzzles to exercise the brain and the level of difficulty will line up with my anxiety but this is different. I cannot pull that information up anymore at all. It is like I never learned it to begin with. I cannot even make sense of some of the books now. How can I relearn if I now cannot even comprehend what they say? And philosophy! Not my forte but something hubs has books of likes reading. Used to I could read and giggle and some of these old outdated thoughts. Now if he has been reading one I pick it up when he is not looking and I can't even comprehend what they mean or say.

It is one thing to have short term memory loss and difficulty concentrating and reading instructions when stressed, but I know what you are saying is different as I cannot pull the things I know back up even if I am feeling very good. Like I said before it just went "poof" for lack of a better description. Only exception is I can comprehend my hubs books a little better during low stress. And learning new things is downright painful for me now! Really pisses me off as it leaves me fighting the feeling I am an idiot. Then you go into self esteem issues... It can turn into a long winding road quick.

Thanks veiled for finding the words I couldn't seem to find. And for understanding what I was trying to say. I'm hoping that with working on relearning old stuff (I hope) and learning new stuff (again I hope) that it helps. If not reverse things, at least stem the tide of loss. I'm still doing research (the Queen of Research rides again!) on cognitive problems associated with PTSD.

Thanks for your post, Donna. Good to see you here again. I understand Ranger's frustrations to the point of yelling. Been there myself.

I finally was able to talk to my husband about what's been going on with me and my frustrations from it and fears that it's not going to get better. It felt good to talk about it instead of letting it roll around my head. It's funny...but even with everything I've been through in the last year and a half with my PTSD, there was still this teeny, tiny part of me that was holding out hope that things would just 'go away'. Most of the time I could just ignore this little, tiny voice. Actually it would only come out when I was feeling really good, really normal. But dealing with symptoms that have been popping in and out for the last month and this memory/learning/cognitive issue, it's like the final nail in the coffin of that small voice of denial that's stayed with me. I even cried last night talking to my husband about it. Not sure why. I guess grieving that last part of the old me that I've been holding onto.

I know it's better and healthier for me to accept what I've become. But it is hard to let go of the old ways that I know I won't get back. Even if it is the last teeny, tiny piece.

Lisa

Marlene,

I think.....And this is just IMO.... Is that with PTSD and possible menopause. That the stressful stuff comes to the forefront, and the intelligence part gets pushed back. You haven't LOST your intelligence, it just gets pushed aside for the time being. Our minds can only handle so much at one time.

Wendy,

I wouldn't mind menopause at all. Trust me! Actually my gyn told me that I would probably end up having menopause in my early 40's since I had hormone problems for years (had to take hormones for years to have a cycle). Now that things 'leveled out' (hormone wise) for me in the last few years, my gyn acts like he never said that. Plus my cycle is still johnny-on-the-spot. So no symptoms of menopause or peri-menopause...yet.

I do agree Lisa

Marlene......

YES....You would mind menopause... I would not wish this on my worst enemy...Well maybe on my worst enemy I would. But the point is. It makes the PTSD symptoms harder to deal with. It rears it's ugly head again and things start all over. At least that was the case for me, and someone else that I know.

Everything comes back...The mood swings, anxiety, panic, anger, the crazy thoughts. On top of it, you get the hot flashes, night sweats, and just feel like crap. Some women go through menopause and don't even know it. I don't know weather to be jealous of them or hate them......

It's such a pleasant time........NOT!!!!!!!!