I survived, and actually enjoyed it. Spent it with a couple of friends. We talked, laughed, ate, and had fun.....

Now Christmas will be another story.......Still think that there ought to be open season on the fat man in the red suit....

Well, I made it-even with the son of my abuser, sitting at the head of our dinner table. My family (husband, son and I) sat at a separate table in the family room, just off from the diningroom. My explanation was that it gave everyone more room to move around at the big table. I guess it was my way of not being so close to my abuser's entire family. Even though he is dead now, his memory is definitely prominent during the holidays. My sister always freaks out around now, and I fight a lot of OCD habits as well.

Anyway, I made it through. Washed dishes in the kitchen the entire time. Thank god there were a lot of them!

We cut down our Christmas tree yesterday, and I just wanted to do nothing today-had a hard time getting up out of bed. But my husband and son got me to put the lights on the tree, and we are going to put the ornaments on later.

My mother was going to help me out a little, financially, with the cost of Thanksgiving-but it looks like she has forgotten-great.....

Next up, I have 25+ people over for Christmas Eve. Not sure how I am going to handle THAT! But, I don't want to think about that just yet-just want to be relieved that I made it through Thanksgiving.

nor

I survived...but I'm so glad to be home. Thanksgiving this year was a lot smaller than usual (people wise)...thank goodness. Even with less people it was tough for me to be in the room with all of them. But I still found a way to do it...in a chair out of the main flow of people.

Usually on Thanksgiving my husband's family will all do a name draw for Christmas gifts. Since there are so many people, it gets expensive. This was everyone just has one gift to buy another. When I brought it up to my MIL, she said they weren't doing it this year. OK...that was odd. I found out from talking to my husband and youngest on the way home that my MIL is tired of just a few of us doing all of the planning and such each year and everyone is one their own, basically, this year. Not quite sure how that's going to be managed, but I'll have to figure it out.

I was proud of myself. I had told my SIL's and my MIL via email that I wasn't up to hosting a holiday meal this year. I told my husband I didn't know if I was ever going to be up to having almost two dozen people in my house again. I told my in-laws on Thursday this bit of information. They didn't say anything, but I got it out without stammering. So that's something.

Lisa

Good for you Lisa that you set boundaries for your own well being.

Proud of you

Is it January yet? I made it through Thanksgiving...but now starts the Christmas season. I would love to just simplify the whole thing as we have gotten so far away from the true meaning of Christmas. However, the rest of my family doesn't see it that way...so we meet in the middle.

I think the biggest thing for me right now is the amount of social activity that occurs during this time of year. I am doing good to go for coffee once a week with a trusted friend...and all of a sudden I am supposed to do several social events a week?

Thanks, Nicolette! I made sure my husband was sitting right next to me (moral support) when I made the announcement.

It is for my well being...but man, that was a tough one.

Lisa

Good work Lisa for being strong and smart enough to use the resources around you to get through a difficult situation and turning it into an empowering one

In an effort to keep the holidays as stress-free (or as close to it as possible) I talked to my family about changing the normal decoration and location of the tree. I got the ok to do whatever I felt I needed to do. I went to the store with my youngest and we found a simple tree of lights. I put it on the side board next to my dining table.

That way it's out of the main family area (and I didn't have to move things to put up the usual tree) and if I don't want to look at it, I don't have to. It's surprising how much just two changes have helped me so far. Plus buying all gifts online this year and avoiding the shops is one of the biggest help.

My oldest daughter was asking about Christmas dinner. I told her that I was thinking about buying it from a deli or a take out place. Got a big 'thumbs up' for keeping with the simple theme.

I wish I'd thought of this years ago.

Lisa

Good for you for your thinking. Mom and I have put up a beautiful tree and the packages are all under the tree.

They are all empty! ! ! ! Neither one of us need anything, but she enjoys her tree so much we decided to just enjoy the season and avoid all the other shit.

Oh Yea, the meal. The best holiday meal we ever had that we "pick up" was from Boston Market. Good prices and fantastic side dishes and pies and cakes and baked chicken or turkey. Just thought I would share! Anyway, glad you are doing ok and handling this holiday pressure. Mom and I are enjoying our pretty tree, the holiday music and programs on TV and experiencing "O" stress. Of course our tree looks like Santa came for a family of 6 because of all the "presents" under the tree. LOL!

Anyway, have a happy holiday with your family and keep me posted on the baby when it comes.

Your buddy GRAMA HERC

Great idea, Marlene! Apparently, I had forgotten the ridiculous added stress that the holiday's can bring. For me, the worst of this stress results from things that occur or happen outside of my control.

Take this coming Christmas, for example:

Who would've thunk it, that in the last 20 min. not only did I trip and fall over a laundry basket in my basement and land sprawled out across the room, but moments later while carrying more 'x'mas stuff down to the basement, I nearly slipped, on my stockings, and could've easily have broken my back, given the type of fall I almost took. It was certainly a some real scare! It sucked! And, then I was so ticked off, for some absurd reasoning, I couldn't think straight enough to measure my distance between me and the walls and twice I banged into them. Now it would appear, I'm currently on overly prescribed medications or something; (which I haven't needed any medicine lately, or perhaps I've hit the bottle, (which couldn't be further from the truth.) The whole damn thing has me PO'd off.

What it is is frustration, lack of sufficient time and me feeling I must race around this house in order to accomplish what needs to get done before I leave to pick my children up in about 15 min.

Damn', it's too often a race against that clock. Especially, mornings and having to complete holiday forms and checks, gifts and such before we walk out into the land of ice, to head to school.

Marlene, I too need this vent thread!

I do not stop and stubbornly refuse to have a good day, months or longer, when there is chance of it, but I guess I forget how damn overwhelming holidays can, and often do become, and I get into the sorta' wishful thinking type bologne.

Oh' ya, great....Yippie, that's right, I also had to open my son's present in order to find the seriel # on it, in order to register it online, in order to fail to find the #, in order to call and wait several min. to speak to someone from the co. that I paid to protect it, in order to have them register me over the phone ...............and so I ended up registered twice, in the process discovered a cd' rom pckg.'d w/ product badly scratched if not cracked ....and then to be told, even if they don't have a single one on the shelf for an even exchange, don't call us, bc where you just bought it, they must be responsible. Never mind though that the protect. plan begins from purchase date.

I better get going. Glad this is a vent thread, bc that's exactly all I've just done - VENT. As I certainly didn't brush me teeth, or hair, or pretty up any to get ready to go out the door. (lol) As, you can see, I'm trying hard now to lighten up some and relax, after that pain in my arse' stress.

Stress..............grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Must'ntt forget anyone!................grrrr
Must'nt wrap one present more for one child then the next. ...............grr
Must make sure presents are of nearly equal value. .....gr

I'm beginning to feel a bit better, now!