I have heard my T say this many times, just when I read it tonight, it clicked. I have been struggling for 30 yrs, I guess I cant expect to heal overnight

Bec might answer this better, but boundaries are the line that 'YOU" set and no one is able to cross.

When you go to your T tell her you have some boundaries you want to discuss first, and then tell her under no circumstances are you to hospitalize me unless I say it is OK (or whatever it is you feel) If she agrees then that is an example of a "boundary" that YOU set and MUST be respected.

She should stick to her word because she understands these things being a professional.

If she doesn't stick to YOUR boundaries, which I think she will, then you can give her the example I gave in an earlier post. Also if she were to break her word you could ask her to get another opinion of another therapist in the office before she makes a decision like that. I think a doctor would be the final decision maker, and usually one or the other will figure out what is in your best interest.

Peace
Tammy

As others have said...honesty is key. I have spent quite a bit of time either focusing on the smaller issues or not putting all my cards on the table. I am finally at the point where I have nothing to lose through complete honesty. It is really hard sometimes...especially when asked to talk about individual traumas. I don't think I could do this without a therapist.

I think there are some NOs.

Do not threaten to commit a crime or to commit suicide. The Doctor will want to cover himself by putting you in a secure place where somebody else will get the blame.

but if you have a therapist that you've worked with and knows you....this will not happen....I just told my T last week thoughts I had had the week before...Also told her I knew I could not and would not and my reasoning why I would not could not....it is important we have someone we trust when these thoughts come up because we must have someone who knows us well enough if we are feeling this way.....talking about this is a call for help....those of us on here can not help....we do not know you and can not help you.....if you are feeling this way you must talk to someone who can help you.....

I have been totally honest with my psychologist, finally now. I have had about 50 cognitive behavioural therapy sessions with her. It took me a long time to trust and open up to her but I hold nothing back now.

She also told me......it took more than 20 years for all of this to build up and that it would take a long time in therapy due to the severity and the number of traumas as well as the trauma that caused the PTSD. I thought I was going to go in and have about 10 sessions and then I would be cured! wrong! Be honest it helps.

Well, all I have to say is that I have yet to find a therapist that I like. I've fired 8 of them for various reasons. Think about it: do you want to trust a complete stranger with all of the details of your life? I don't. I mean, you have to build trust before I'll tell you my life. If I don't like the therapist I am not going to waste my time. If I don't like the office setting, I won't go again. I have to feel totally comfortable. That said, I know that if I had a GOOD cognitive therapist I would benefit from it. I'm open to that, but so far I've only encountered dorks who say you have to go every week or twice a week, for the money part. That's sucky. I'm hopeful that my next counselor is going to be good : ) Good luck with yours. If you're not comfortable, fire your counselor.

Mmmmmm, I'm not sure I entirely agree with this.

I fully understand there are bad therapists out there. I fully understand that not every therapist is going to be a "match" for every patient.

But 8? Eight? Come on now.

I can't help but expect a pattern of excuses which conveniently prevent facing tough or painful issues.

No office setting is perfect. Not every tone of voice or facial expression is perfect. Not every response is going to be what you are looking for. In fact, some sessions, you are going to walk away feeling like you were on two totally different pages, and/or you will be pretty pissed off with your therapist. That's how it works!!

You will feel totally comfortable when you allow yourself to be totally comfortable. It is a choice. We as humans do have the ability to filter the important from the inconsequential. Office setting does not have any bearing on your innate ability to face your issues... office setting is an excuse to not feel comfortable, so you can justify avoiding the tough stuff.

I can't tell you how many times I swallowed a lump in my throat over the fact my T's door was so close to his co-workers' doors, surely they could hear what I was saying, and were listening to me! Or how I inwardly shuddered at the scary-looking people who sat in the waiting room, in the same chairs that I was sitting in... was I one of them, was I scary-looking too? Gahhhhh. Sucky stuff.

But this is the paranoia of PTSD. It is not rationally justified ... it is simply our brains running overtime being hypervigilant and hypercritical; it is the condition itself in its purest sense.

You will never get better 'til you suck it up, swallow the paranoia, stop allowing excuses, plant your kiester in that chair and COMMIT. Swallow your misgivings and put your story out there. That's what this exercise is about. It is going to be really frickin' hard. And scary. But at some point, you will be sick enough and hurting enough where the pain of continuing without therapy is worse than facing all these misgivings about talking to and trusting in a stranger. When you reach that point, all these excuses will not matter. The desperation will be so distinct and so strong that you simply cannot continue another freakin' day in the hellhole of PTSD... you will know you have to get help, NOW.

And as with any human relationship between two people, you will extend consideration and respect to your T, and give him/her a fair chance. Nobody's going to be perfect. Nobody. But most therapists are going to be at least somewhat helpful, and that's a whole lot better than what you've got right now.



This is a kick in the pants encouraging constructive behavior and moving forward :) it is NOT written in a hurtful or mean way. Sometimes we need someone who'll prop us up with a stick and push us forward. I am here with the stick.

:) Bailey

Michigangirl,

Therapists can help, but you must open up to them.

My therapist's name was given to me by a friend who is a therapist. My friend told me that everyone who saw this therapist was healed. I remember so well that first time I walked into the office. The clinic was a University clinic and there was so many people and so much going on I wanted to run. Everyone was great though. The receptionist told me if I was too stressed to go sit outside in the hallway and they would come and get me.

Luck was on my side because much of her work was with sexual assault victims who developed PTSD. This information and my friend's recommendation gave me the confidence to open up to her. That is not to say that that I opened up immediately. One of the first things I blurted out was that my thoughts had turned to committing suicide or cutting myself. She told me that since I had told someone that I had been molested, I wouldn't kill myself or cut myself. For some reason I believed her. Sometimes she was tough with me, but I understood it wasn't personal. Her job was to help me heal.

What I am trying to say is, if possible, get a recommendation for a therapist from someone who has either seen them, or knows their reputation. Be open with them, but at your own speed. Trust that they know their job so when they are pushing you, you understand they are seeing an opportunity to heal a part of you.

Good Luck in finding a new therapist,

vst

Hello everyone,

So I finally got the nerve to tell my T what was going on. I couldn't hold it in any longer and figured I am paying her to help me, so I told her. I told her how I feel hopeless somedays and just want to stay in bed, how somedays don't want to face the world, I dont want to be here, but I dont want to kill myself as I know that is cowardly thing to do. I told her that I stop myself 99.9% of the time and it when I am most tired and scared with flashbacks that I am afraid something bad will happen. She was able to follow my crazy train of thought, and she was able to calm me down. We have a plan in case I feel really down, but for now she trusts that I wont do anything. I do have to check in with her everyday, jsut quick telephone check in, which I didnt want to do, but am doing anyway. I am glad I told her, just waiting for the nightmares/flashbacks/depression to end.