I must apologize for any terse responses in the last couple of days. I have been extremely stressed as my daughter is currently suicidal. We managed to have her admitted to hospital today, so she is now being well taken care of. Even so, the whole process has been extremely frightening. She was doing very well until about a week ago, then went downhill so suddenly! Obviously it is not our fault, however my husband and I are now reeling from how quickly it all happened and wondering what we could have done to prevent it. It is most terrifying. I have already buried one child due to PTSD and I can't bear the thought of losing another.

I will still be around to do some editing and administrative duties, as that relaxes me. However, my posting will be at a minimum, as I say I am quite stressed and exhausted, and my mind can't think of much else at the moment except my Evie.

Our thoughts are with you all Kathy.

Thank you Nicolette. Much appreciated.

Jim.

Be kind to yourselves during this time Kathy & Jim.
Please know that our thoughts are with you.

OMG Kathy, I am very distressed to hear this. I'm so sorry for you and Jim, and I'm worried about Evie. Do you know what brought this on? Sorry, I don't mean to broach a boundary. I am just very concerned. You know how fond I am of Evie. She and I were pm'ing and such just before this and I am being paranoid that I witlessly did or said something stupid.

Oh not at all Hodge, it is no one's fault, and certainly not something you or anyone else said. We suspect it is a combination of things really. She has been on a medication for sleep for the past 3 weeks, and whilst the doctor assured it would not make her suicidal, we are beginning to wonder, as she has been suicidal on virtually every other medication she has tried. Additionally she attended Remembrance Day services last weekend, where there were rifle shots fired. In retrospect, we recall that one of her doctors, a specialist in PTSD, had told us exposure involving guns would not be a wise idea for Evie. It was her decision to go however, she really wished to go for Brian's sake, as a memorial to him was part of the service. She is an adult, we didn't wish to tell her she couldn't go. Thirdly, she's had troubles with speaking in the last couple of weeks, gone silent for several days at a time. Talking things out is very important for her and she had shut down, especially with regards to her grief over Brian.

So please no worries Hodge, it is absolutely nothing you have done. She had too many things happening at once and was not talking about her feelings. Thank you for your concern, we are certain she will be perfectly fine, she is being well cared for in hospital, and we will be here for her when she comes home. She is never alone.

Thank you for your reassurances, Kathy. Sorry I was getting paranoid. Yes, I am certain you are right about all the above. I'd forgotten about her problems speaking, since we'd been emailing. And, of course, the Remembrance Day event couldn't have helped, even though I totally understand why she wanted to go.

If the time is right and you deem it appropriate, please let Evie know how much I care about her and how much promise I see for her life. I know too well how painful life can be with ptsd, but I have also seen our human spirit rise in life-sustaining moments to this adversity . . . with humor, creativity, compassion, intelligence, and the capacity for fun, all in the face of so much darkness. Well, maybe it would just be easier to say I hope she gets on her feet again soon. My heart is with you all. Sending my love to Evie and you and your family.

Take all the time you need Kathy, and speak your mind on anything you need to concerning this for support.

bec

good luck Kathy, Jim & Evie.

Thinking of you Kathy and Jim. I hope Evie gets better quick.

I often wonder about the idea of sounding rifles as a sign of respect to the fallen. It must cause problems for many at such gatherings.