Please Help - Store Manager and Christmas is Coming Soon!

hollyberry · #1 19-11-2007, 01:50 AM

Please help I really need some support. I'm trying like heck to keep my emotions stuffed for just 6 more weeks. You see i'm a store manager and with xmas right around the corner I need to keep it inside. I cant run a store as a 6 year old child, if thats the age thats trying to come out. In therapy on thursday it almost felt like I have another personality. I had some memories come back a couple of weeks ago and didn't talk about them to my therapist for 2 visits cause of work. (usually go to work after appointment) Took thursday off so we could talk about it. When I tried to let it out it was so pain full and I was so scared, I was able to take some deep breaths and make the fear and pain go away. It was like I totally changed personalities. I'm a mess right now, need to get ready for work and go be an adult and manager 30 employees but this little child doesn't want me too.

hodge · #2 19-11-2007, 12:30 PM

I've been there...too much work stress and responsibility while sort of re-living what it felt like to be a hurt child. Some of my flashbacks are episodes in which I feel like a child again, too, so I know how painful and frustrating this is. I wish I could offer some ideas for you right now, but (1) I don't trust my brain due to medication changes I'm going through right now and (2) can't really think of anything. I just wanted to say I feel for you. I'm sure others will be here sooner or later with some good concrete suggestions. Oh, now I do have one idea: do you have any anti-anxiety medications that might help get you through? If not, you could consider asking your doctor for something to get through this tough time. Hang in there, Hollyberry.

hollyberry · #3 19-11-2007, 09:37 PM

thank you. I was beginning to give up on this. Been writting for 2 days and really haven't gotton any messages back. I can see that lots of community has read my messages but no ones responding. Starting to take it personal and it doesn't help this depression at all.

Kathy · #4 19-11-2007, 09:56 PM

Holly, please give people time to respond and do not take it personally. Two days is not a long time for this community. Not all members are online everyday, members come here when they are able, and will only respond if they feel they have something to valid to contribute. Please remember everyone here is a sufferer of PTSD or the carer of a sufferer. Many are in the same condition as you are at the moment. Perhaps you need to re-read this article:

http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread5113.html

hollyberry · #5 19-11-2007, 10:26 PM

I'll try not to give up, I'm not a quitter if I was I would of ended this pain a long time ago. Its just really hard. Having a annziety(can't spell) attack. husband is upset cause im on computer so much these past 2 days, doesn't understand. Supose to go to work, can't drive an hour and take med for the attack. Im a mess

Kathy · #6 19-11-2007, 10:38 PM

That is a good attitude to have Holly. People will respond when they can, and as you are here longer you will get to know people, develop a rapport and so on. It is never easy being a new person. Have you been reading the articles here upon the forum? There is an entire section on anxiety including breathing exercises, self-talk and other things you may do to help yourself. Take good care.

hodge · #7 20-11-2007, 06:03 PM

Holly, I just wanted to second what Kathy has said. At any given time, lots of us who are more active members can be going through a lot of bad stuff, too. Also, it seems to me that we've gotten a bit of a flood of new members in the last few days. I often feel overwhelmed wanting to give some support around while struggling to take care of myself, too. Once you've been here long enough, I think you'll know what I mean:)

In the meantime, please take care.

Claire · #8 20-11-2007, 06:23 PM

Hello Hollyberry, I understand the 6 yr old. I have a bit of me that's about 4yr. It is hard to accomodate that bit of me but I've found ignoring it doesn't help. I've found I need to listen to what that bit of me is saying and help it as you would if it was an actual young child coming to you with the same problems. My young bit is there in therapy and also at night.

Is it possible to move your therapy appointments? I find work is useless if I have an appointment in the morning. I try and have them in the afternoon and evening which gives me some time to look after myself afterwards ready for work the next day.

hodge · #9 20-11-2007, 06:37 PM

Claire, that's an excellent point. When I was working full-time I always took the last appointment possible, because I found out I'd be a wreck afterward and totally unable to concentrate on work (as opposed to mostly unable to concentrate on work).

hollyberry · #10 20-11-2007, 09:00 PM

I kinda decided to stop my appointments till after the holiday bacause I was such a wreck on friday. But seeings I was such a wreck these past 2 days too I don't know what to do. I missed work past 2 days, going to try and go in today. Thank you all for the support. I have felt so alone in my struggle these past few weeks and now I have all of you.