It's not all about you.

Please reread that about a hundred times.

When there are threads or posts about a member having a tough time, it's not about you.

When there are threads or posts about a member struggling with suicide, it's not about you.

Members seem to think they are personally responsible for everyone's state of mind and current circumstances. They then post like crazy with "I'm so sorry" or send pm's in a flurry to "right their wrong." This makes the members in a crunch feel even more alienated, because now you have made them responsible for your emotions. It is NOT ALL ABOUT YOU.

If you know you have done something wrong (lord knows I have) post an apology. For something you did. Not for some flimsy connection that you decide was your doing.

Over apologizing, over caretaking, and over identifying can cause some serious issues for members. If someone is talking about their trauma, it's not about you. It's about them. Acting as if everything is your fault, forces others to constantly reassure you that it's not your fault.

Some of you may have noticed I will simply ignore people who do this in my threads or diary. I do it for a reason. I refuse to get sucked into a posting reassurance flurry because I know.. it's not about them.

I do not want to see a pile of "I'm so sorry, I do that" posts in here. Frankly I don't want to hear it.. I want to see changes.

Remember, it's not about you.

bec

Bec,
You are so right about this and I am definately guilty of over identifying and over caretaking. I have a difficult time taking off my healthcare provider hat (am a nurse...not currently working) and being just me. I joined this forum to help myself, get info on PTSD, and give others support when needed.

From here on out, when I sign into this board I am simply "me with PTSD". I sincerely apologize if I have made things more difficult or offended anyone. That has not been my intention in any way...and I will take to heart the fact that it truly "is not all about me"

Good one Bec. I find that my life is simpler and more peaceful when I am able to take responsibilty for what's mine and no one else's. Or I mind my own business and not make something my business. Thamk you for the reminder, I needed to hear it.