Kathy, the only problem with "privelege" is a question who to be given it. Who and how will decide, who is eligible to have kids, and who is not?
We have a family with two kids living in the same building with us. They are very poor: the man is disabled and can not work, and the woman does not have an education allowing her to get a well-paid job. But they are a happy family. Once I was passing near their door and heard the guy saying to his kids: "I love you, and I love you, too." They clearly seem to enjoy each other, and the kids are doing very well in school. I think that those people definetely deserve to have children, regardless of being poor.
What I thing is that the society should change its expectation toward all people: I mean, everyone must marry and have children. Having kids is much like having pets, just a lot more serious, and is not for everybody.
Honestly, I would give a lot for an ability to be a good mother and to raise a son who will inherit the name and blood. But can not play with someone's life :(
Have a good trip to Venezuala, by the way!!!

By privilege though Linda I am certainly not meaning money, rather privilege as its basic definition as "a special favour granted to someone who is deemed worthy". And worthiness is based on many factors, not simply wealth or station in life. When I worked for Child Protection there were cases of abuse reported in all walks of life, regardless of income or social standing. Some of the best parents were the ones who were quite poor. Jim and I started out with nothing when we had Brian. No by privilege I mean having a child in itself is a privilege, not something one should consider themselves automatically entitled to. Almost like a very special gift really. I know I feel very privileged to have had children, raised them, watch them grow, guide them and so on. It has been very rewarding, and I feel privileged to have shaped their lives in what I hope is a good way. However never have I considered it my right to have them. I am thankful that I was able to have children, and thankful also that Jim and I have been able to provide a stable loving home.

Far too many people simply assume they are entitled to have children and never stop to consider whether or not they are emotionally suited to it. Having children is much work, requires much patience, and yes is a huge financial responsibility. I have seen far too many parents shirk their responsibilities towards their children, through no reason other than they truly didn't realize what they were getting themselves into. Children change your entire life. I do agree though, it would be impossible to determine who and who should not be eligible to have children, I definitely do not believe it should be the governement's decision. However I would love to see people giving child rearing much more thought than they do. Children should not be regarded as an automatic product of marriage, nor should they be considered a possession, a status symbol, or someone to love you and take care of you in your old age. I'm afraid far too many people regard them as such.

Kathy, my opinion is very similar to yours. Too many people consider their children not people with their own preferences and wishes, but rather free caregivers and providers. And too few people want to have children because they want them to be happy and to enjoy their life. Perhaps everyone heard or read of, or had seen cases when people would giving their kids trouble for choosing a "wrong" partner, or "wrong" lifestyle and so on.
I see another problem: people who have kids just because they want to have someone small and helpless and depending on them, someone they can cuddle and pet. Goodness! Kids are people at the certain stage of development, not toys! But some people still see their grown children as babies needing constant care and supervision.
Of course it would be nice to see people being a lot more responsible in their decisions to give life to another person, but it probably not going to happen in any near future. I see solution only through education and changing attitude about child-free people.
Also, of course, agree that child abuse can take place in families with any level of income or social class. My own father was belonging to the intellectual elite of the country, which did not stop him from being an abusive parent. For some reason many think that the whoever has no money must have no children.

I often fin dit amazing how many people on this forum believe in similar things. I agree that as a parent you don't really know what you are getting yourself into until you are there; in fact I was only saying to my Mum the other day that she 'never warned me that labour was the easy part'! I didn't fuly understand how much time and energy children take up, but I also never expected the 'rewards' of being a parent to be so plentiful or that they woud make the hard times worth it. Whilst Alex and I are not financially well off, we are stable. Neither of us work, but we are lucky enough to live in Australia where the government helps us out with the financial responsibilities of being unemployed (whether a parent or not). My children still have all the possessions they need, most of the ones they want and they have more love than they know what to do with. My eldest son Jackson has just started the terrible twos ( and as much as I love him he drives me mad); which is why I am so lucky to have my partner at home with me; sure we could have more money if we were both working, and we could have great holidays; but I wouldn't trade all of that to miss out on the smiles my boys give me every day.
I agree with Kathy, in that it is a priviledge. A very special one, and one that I am so grateful to have been blessed with.
And to all of you people without children; congratulations on making the right choice for you! Because in the end, it is our decision and we each will make one and will deal with that the best that we know how!
Tammy