Anthony, I was wondering if you are aware of the changes made to the family law of Australia in July this year with regards to seperated parents...
Basically, parents no longer go to court to fight for residency (what used to be called custody) until they have tried to reach an agreement through Family Relationships Australia. FRA uses mediators and in my case, I went to an interview with a mediator by myself to discuss what I wanted and Jackson's dad had to go to a mediation session by himself to discuss what he wanted to happen, and then we went to a session together with two mediators (neither of whom are on any one's side) to try to reach an agreement concerning the welfare of the child! In my case Jackson.
The courts now prefer for each parent to have the child the same amount of time (eg half and half). In my case Wil is supposed to have Jackson three days one week and four days the next week, and on 'special days' (eg Fathers day and Christmas etc).
The mediators then write up a 'parentng plan' which is basically a contract between both parents. You then go in and read through the agreement and sign it if you agree with what is written (though I will tell you i was not completely comfortable with mine).
If after attending FRA (which I know can be done through the phone) both parents cannot reach a mutual agreement, then the case can go to court.
As of July 1 this year, this is how residency disputes have to be handled and the main emphasis is always on the best interest of the child/ren.
I don't know if you know about this or not, but just in case you didn't, there is a solution to your problems with not being able to see your children... The number for Family Reationships Australia is listed on the front of your phone book!
I hope this may help to ease some of your stress...
Tammy
PS: Issues each party has with the other are not supposed to be bought into the mediation session at all. They can be mentioned in the seperate sessions, but they will only come into the actual drawing up of the plan if there is believed to be a real physical or emotional threat to the children- which I know that you are not. And it is highly unfair (not to mention that there are no legal reasons at all) for Kerrie's suggestion that she has to be there to supervise your visits. Anyway I hope this may help you.

Hey Tam, yer.... my solicitor instructed me off this, though Kerrie has obviously informed her solicitor to stop responding to negotiations, so mediation is now immediately ruled out. She is going to court whether she likes it or not now, as she has failed to meet even mediation through solicitors. I cannot say much about that here... though let me just say, I will be going for a lot more now from the recent changes to the laws.

Fantastic news Anthony. Gives you more rights, which you deserve. Fingers crossed for you, much good luck.

Jim.

I am sorry to hear your mediation did not go well at all. I hope that you have a damn good solicitor, even though I am sure you completely researched him/her! I fully understand your anger over the current situation and I do hope that eventually you will be able to see your boys, nt only because you deserve it, but because you do; thus the reason I spend most of my time lately bending over backwards to make sure Jackson sees Wil regularly... even if it does mean putting myslef, Alex and Phoenix out for that period of time... I hope all goes well for you.
Tammy

I am sorry about the mediation also Anthony, however it is positive to hear that the laws have been altered and that you may have more rights now. I believe that is what Jim was talking about as well. It was rather frustrating to think that you had less rights as the father, so I am pleased that has changed. We continue to wish the very best for you in this situation.

I agree that it is good that the laws are now more favourable to men. The problem still is though, you must fight for your rights as they are not generally adhered to when there is an emotional and bitter separation.

While the law exists people are not always obliging and a court is forced to make the other person be reasonable. This can become and very expensive and time consuming process. You do have to hold on to faith as it seems that the person who has the children still has the ultimate control until a court forces them to act otherwise (and that is not always successful). Meanwhile.......... the children and the other parent suffer which I think stinks.

At least though Nicolette it is now more like here in North America, where fathers have just as much right as mothers. The system is not perfect here either, many do not abide by it and do end up in court which is unfortunate. My son Brian had a terrible time, however because of his equal parental rights, our family is now raising his young son, which is a far better environment than Liam would have had with his mother. When we first heard that the laws in Australia were not equal to fathers, Jim and I were quite appalled, so we are most happy to hear they have been altered, and that you actually have some hope in this.

I was told by FRA that if mediation attempts fail and both parents are willing to have the children the courts here will automatically rule that each parent has the child half of the time. I am not sure if this is true or they told me this so I would complete the mediation, however in Anthony's case, I do hope this is true. Apparently the family courts here are sic of hearing about each parties downfalls as parents, so they have decided to that the half/ half approach is better for the children. And not only that, but once this case does go through the court, it is a 'parenting order' meaning that each party is responsible for following it at all times; if this does not occur, that parent will be punished by the courts. At present I only have a 'parenting plan', which means that it is a mutual agreement however it cannot be enforced by the law. It can be mentioned in court, but it cannot persuade the judge at all. If I wanted it to be made into a 'parenting order' I can send it with some forms to the courts to get their seal of approval.
It is a very unfortunate situation that Anthony is finding himself in, however I fell more sorry for the children involoved! Children have a right to know both parents equally and the residential parent should realise that and stop being so selfish.
Hope all goes well for you and your boys Anthony.
Tammy

Tammy, the problem We have Is that Kerrie has moved the boys interstate & the courts tend not to view the children traveling so far a good thing. While we can travel to go & see them it would mean hotel rooms which Is not Ideal either In the sense of stability. Hopefully something can be worked out once Kerrie decides to co-operate Whether that be by choice or ruling of the Courts.

I do believe that the half and half approach in regard to parents being in different states is that one parent has the child/ren for 6 months and the other parent has them for the other six months. That is what Wil wanted when he was thinking about staying in QLD; and according tot he mediators we saw, they can do that!
I think that would be pretty rough for the children but if there is no other way for both parents to see the children then it is indeed fair!
I sincerely hope that everything pans out ok though; please keep us informed.
Tammy