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Go Back   PTSD Forum > Break The Ice > Chat - Carers
Does He Need to be Told? Does He Need to be Told?
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Old 30-11-2007, 03:18 PM
Jen Jen is offline Gender Female
 
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Default Does He Need to be Told?
Hubby has been really down this week he assures me that we are going to go away on the weekend like we planned but I am not real confident! I am going with or without him!

My question is if a sufferer is really down like he has been what would the likely reaction be if I remind him that he has people who care about him as in myself and the kids (to a smaller extent) and he needs to stop pushing me away by not talking to me!
Is it all just a fog when they are down and am I wasting my time to get to deep with him at this time? Hope this isnt to hard to understand?
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Old 30-11-2007, 05:55 PM
Claire Claire is offline Gender Female
 
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I'd be careful Jen. Just because you might add to the pressure he's feeling at the moment. It depends on him though. In my opinion it would be better to concentrate on the good time you plan to have together and suggest that to him in a more casual way, eg. 'we'll have a nice time'. His not talking to you is a way of him trying to cope with it and feel safe. Its not intended to shut you out.
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Old 30-11-2007, 08:37 PM
Jen Jen is offline Gender Female
 
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Thanks Clare I was thinking that! When I got home from work I gave him a cuddle and said Are you ok? He said he doesnt know why he has these days? We know but he tends to not want to know!
So I just said if you want to talk I will listen and left it at that.
We are going away for a couple of days he wants to go so as you said concentrate on the good time?
Gee this gets hard sometimes
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Old 01-12-2007, 06:14 PM
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Kathy Kathy is offline Gender Female
 
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It is difficult Jen, he does seem rather depressed a lot of the time I believe? I am uncertain what to do about that. In any event, take care and I hope you were able to get away for the weekend afterall!
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Old 02-12-2007, 09:07 PM
Jen Jen is offline Gender Female
 
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Yeh thanks Kathy we went away but it wasnt a great weekend things didnt go to plan as he was going to go out on a fishing trip and they had to cancel because of mechanical problems.
He was so cranky and so was I as he was looking forward to it!
Anyway as far as he was concerned after that the whole world is out to get him and nothing goes right!
It didnt help his mood thats for sure?
He seemed a little bit better tonight I will see how the next couple of days go?
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Old 03-12-2007, 10:10 AM
Frankie Frankie is offline Gender Female
 
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It is hard at times isn't it ? I know that when my bf is down...it takes a long time for him to "register" what I am saying to him. I try not to push, and like you Jen, I say "if you want to talk, I am here" and you know what ? eventually he does talk !
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