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  #1  
Old 06-12-2007, 04:53 PM
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Default Spirit .... What Is, And What Does Yours Look Like, Now?

Spirit ... What does yours look like, Now? How would you describe its appearance right now? And, what if anything do you need to and/or are you doing, or going to do about it? And, when if applicable.

A healthy Spirit, is it of relevance when living with and managing PTSD?

Spirit ... From what you know, was your spirit damaged more so from your actual trauma or (s), or more so following your Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? Or, so much so, that there is no distinguishing?

Spirit ... What have you found that is healing and supporting to your spirit, now that you live with PTSD? (Things that you actually do now and not what you once did or wish to do sometime in the future.)

Spirit ... IYHO, What is spirit? What is its connection to your mind? Which one presently holds the reins for you and in your life, ... your mind or your spirit? Does that which holds the reins for you shift and alternate, or remain firm?

------

Hello,

I've been having a really tough time lately with my spirit and feeding it and keeping it up. I created this thread in the hope that some will pick one or more and toss it around some for open discussion.

Though, I feel the discussion could be most interesting for each, and with the intent being constructive and helpful to the ones posting and/or reading. I'm not actually asking these questions on behalf of a response specifically for me. Rather, I think that it can raise some thought-provoking helpful discussion(s) for any.

And, since I also, am having a really tough time lately and pushing the clock right now, I'm going to have to come back to this to thread, to later toss out some of my own answers and/or perhaps an opinion.

Take Care,


...Hope...

Oh' ya' (giggling) there is always these spirits , they were fun for me while they worked and lasted. ,,,, Miserably ineffective however, when my PTSD broke through rearing it's ugly, frightening head.

Last edited by goingonhope; 06-12-2007 at 04:59 PM. Reason: fixed and capitalized title, or so I thought I had
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  #2  
Old 06-12-2007, 08:33 PM
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I'm not quite sure just how to answer this, maybe I should have a few of these first. It would help!!!! LOL!!!

For me, PTSD has left a trail of victims. I believe that my mother and grandmother may also have had PTSD, and therefore their actions left a direct impact on my life and siblings also. Some of my siblings have PTSD too.

My actions have in the past have hurt others, pushed people away, and I have walked away from yet others.

When I look at the whole picture I see a wave of destruction that has lasted for generations.

My spirit??? I think honestly I can answer you this way. Although my symptoms are pretty much under control, my spirit is broken and non repairable. It just takes it's toll on the spirit IMO. At least for me.
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  #3  
Old 07-12-2007, 12:24 AM
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wow, what a post

I do not believe my spirit has been harmed beyond repair, I do not believe any of our spirits have been harmed beyond repair.

I believe that my abusers, parents, siblings, teachers and many others did harm to my spirit. I did harm to my spirit because I carried messages that I thought I was hearing from my childhood into my adulthood....and I reacted to those messages ...

Each time I can get breath and get connected to my innerpeace, I beleive I am beginning to heal my spirit...I am able to feel love from god when I feel that peace and it is his love that will heal my spirit...

My spirit looks like a lost little puppy. This puppy has been lost in the woods for many weeks and has had to fend for itself for this time. His master has been looking for him for these weeks but this puppy could not hear him calling. Every once in awhile the puppy thought he had heard his master voice but he couldn't see him, he couldn't touch him, so he did not go towards this voice....every once in awhile this puppy did find food and water that his master had put out for him, the puppy did not realize that this was from his master, but it was, even when he was lost in those woods his master was still taken care of his needs... Even after he is found by his master and he is able to feel the love of his master....He will carry the memorys of being lost with him for many years....and when the master goes to work that puppy will think he is alone again and those fears will come back because this puppy can not feel his arms around him and he can not feel the warmth of his love.....but the master's love will still be there, he will still be loving him, and at the end of the day his master will return and he will be able to feel his arms around him and he will beable to touch him again and worship him again.....and all will be well.

I believe my spirit will be healed and mended with time...there is much that I must learn from this journey, that my master has started me on and there is much pain I must heal from because I have not been able to hear my masters voice for many, many years...like that lost little puppy, but today as I sit in my home..... I can feel his love and I feel the warmth of his love.... I know I will make it to the end of this journey and God will totally heal my spirit.....may all of you have a peacefull day.

p.s. I only hope I can carry this peace outside of my home today haven't been able to all week
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  #4  
Old 07-12-2007, 12:36 AM
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Wow love this post... the ironic thing is I've just been thinking about something extremely similar! I think I'll come back to this one once I've done a couple of things I need to do, because once I get my teeth into this I'll probably be sat here thinking about it for a while. Thought provoking this most definitely is.
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  #5  
Old 07-12-2007, 01:18 AM
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Okay I guess first off, thinking about what the spirit is to me is important here. To me, the spirit of a person is what makes us an individual. Everyone has a spirit that is unique and only belongs to that person. But everyone has a spirit... and the spirit in essence is what makes us who we are. We can all survive... but many of us unfortunately understand what someone means when they say that they are dying inside. I think when people are saying that, they are making reference to the spirit... the essence of a person.

I think the presence of spirit is when no matter what, we are fighting. It is the strength in us. For me I think it is sense of humour, hope and determination. We are all fighting through PTSD for our own reasons, but for common reasons too: to stay alive, but to live and not just exist. The spirit is what keeps that aim our primary and ultimate goal. The spirit is what tells us that staying alive is of ultimate importance, but if we are not alive in our essence, our spirit, then keeping our body alive means nothing. The spirit is what keeps us fighting for this, even when we don't have it. It is what makes us strive for life, to achieve, to be who we want to be. I believe spirit in a person is so relevant to PTSD, that it is actually the only thing that will help us beat PTSD.

Do I believe spirit can change in any other way? No... because I think we are talking about the absolute core of a person. The nature of the spirit can change, but essentially the spirit is about strength to survive through challenges and keep the unique identity that we have (even if that changes in ways) alive.

Can we lose our spirit? Yes. But I believe as long as our body is alive, the spirit can be brought back, and back to full strength - or more strength. As long as we are thinking beings, it's not impossible. If we let our body die, I believe our spirit goes with it. The two depend on each other. When we lose our spirit, we lose hope and strength. If we don't find it again in time, or if it is completely gone... we commit suicide. A lost spirit completely gives up on everything, even life itself.

Can we be broken spirits? Yes. But it still exists... it's just bent a bit. And I don't believe that bent or broken spirits can't be repaired. A broken spirit to me, is when the strength is lesser.

I do believe my spirit goes from being broke, to lost, to found, and stronger, then weaker... etc. But that I have never lost it for long enough to die. There are days when I feel my spirit is really dying for good... my strength is going... but I also notice that on the days when I think my spirit is back... it's back and even stronger. For some insane reason, I actually believe my trauma's, and my PTSD struggle, makes me spirit stronger than it's ever been before when it is on full power. I think the more it survives being tested to it's limit, the more we will find a bigger limit to accommodate it. This is why people survive extraordinary things in life.

I think it is similar to the concept of bravery and adversity. No person who is considered brave, feels brave. But that is the essence of bravery. It's not meant to feel that way. Brave people are brave because in reality they are shitting their pants... but they face the adversity anyway, when most would turn the other way and give in to fear. It is also similar to the fact that a person can only ever recognise, build, or find their personal strength when they are placed in a position where they have no choice but to try to recognise, build, find and use it.

This is what the spirit is to me. It's only found when it is needed, and it's what keeps us keeping on through life.

My spirit? My spirit is my friend and my enemy. It makes and breaks me at times - but it never kills me (because I'm still breathing). I have determination, obstinance, and stubborness that has had me saying plenty of times "Think I can't do it? Watch me...". It has had me thinking "Do what you like, I'll stay alive to spite you". It's why I'm still here. It's also why I push myself to limits I really probably shouldn't.... why I place myself under pressure. And that sometimes has a detrimental affect on me. But I wouldn't want to be without it... it makes me who I am.

My spirit is also those things about my personality that have stuck with me, through everything. Sense of humour being the other thing I value the most about my spirit. My sense of humour changes with my mood, and when my spirit is needed to help me survive. I can have a very dry and cynical sense of humour. I have made myself smile at times, when I have noticed that I joke in my head about things I probably shouldn't quip about. But I always think "Even now, you're finding a joke in the shit". When my spirit isn't being tested... then my sense of humour is much lighter...but the sense of humour never leaves me completely. Much like the spirit.

Some days I lose all of this. Some days it's bent out of shape and not working properly. I'll drag it out of myself and find it when I need it... sometimes I need to find it sooner than I have. But it hasn't let me down yet, I'm still alive. I'm still here. I've still got myself, me spirit.... and nothing and no one has managed to take that from me. As long as I stay alive.... nothing and no one will.

Okay... that's the end of my philosiphical rant! It's come at the right time though... talking about this has really put me in the mood to kick that assignment out of me for my deadline tomorrow. Because all my life people told me I wouldn't get my degree... well, watch me...

Last edited by Lisa; 07-12-2007 at 01:27 AM.
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  #6  
Old 07-12-2007, 02:35 AM
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i think that since our spirit is harnessed by our bodies and minds, much like electricity is harnessed by a lightbulb, that it cannot be harmed. even if our mind and bodies are utterly destroyed it will always transcend. great topic by the way. thanks for posting it.

nate
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Old 08-12-2007, 04:54 PM
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Thanks for starting this thread, Hope. It's a lot to think about. I don't have much to say yet, but I keep coming back to read it. I think that, for me, once I can articulate a definition of what I think spirit is and its relationship to mind and body, the other questions will be easier to think about.
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Old 09-12-2007, 01:54 AM
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Spirit

I compare my spirit to that of a wild horse. Spirit is wild and untamed in the beginning. Spirit refuses to be tamed. Spirit fights every effort to be touched, caged or controled.

If handled properly and given time Spirit will come to trust and allow the world to get closer. Eventually the world can even touch Spirit. BUT, if handled to rough or forced into submission or"broken" as they say, SPIRIT is never the same!

Look into the eyes and Spirit can be found You can see SPIRIT! Ever seen a child with what my mother calls dead eyes? There is no spirit there! It has died. That is an emptiness seen nowhere else in the world.

Spirit is my core being! My spirit has taken a beating over the years, as all our spirits have. Can they be repaired? Like the horse it takes a Very Long time to even get near a spirit once it has been injured in any way. Time, only time and patience can repair your relationship with your spirit

Look at your spirit. Stand in front of the mirror and really look into your eyes. You can see the condition of your spirit. It is a very emotional experience, at least it was to me. I saw a VERY BROKEN spirit, it's eyes looked just like those of a broken wild horse.

Empty--Emptiness is what is seen in your eyes if your spirit is broken or injured in some way. YOU can see it. I have seen my spirit reflect relief, calmness and joy, but I have also watched my spirit actually die. right in front of me. I saw it. The emptiness just got bigger and bigger until there was nothing looking back at me. That wa a very sad momment. I am working on bringing my spirit back to health. It has been sick for a very long time!.

We all need to spend more time and attention caring for our spirit. It needs to loved and fed and nurtured.

Do you know where your spirit is?
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  #9  
Old 10-12-2007, 02:59 AM
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This is a really neat post....

My spirit...is intact but barley it feels like. I feel overwhelmed and like I am hanging on by a string.

My father said it best.....I am broken.

I don't think it will always be like this, as I have faith in both my self and god. Anything can happen, anything can change I feel.

I feel like love is the answer to a broken spirit and nurturing as stated above.......

I think...I need to be soothed in some type of way.

Umm yeah....thats my spirit...how about yours?

Geneva
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  #10  
Old 10-12-2007, 06:30 AM
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No Spirit existed in me or outside of me for a very long time. Only after my diagnosis has Spirit come back into my life.

There are two Spirits in my life. There is the universal Spirit who I pray and meditate to. Inside of me is the Spirit who is my unique being.

I'll tell you about my unique Spirit...

One morning, after having been in therapy for a while, my first thought upon waking was "I'm integrated". I was not even sure what that thought meant, so I researched the word on the internet. I'm sorry but I can't remember the psychological definition of "integration" at this time. To me it means that my Spirit returned as part of my personality.

Sometimes I picture the universal Spirit as "hands". During meditation I will hold my hands out to Spirit for guidance.

My picture of my unique Spirit is developing as I go through my healing process. She has gone from a not nice, ugly person to a warm, caring person who would like to trust, love and be connected to others. She is a work in progess...

vst
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