Oh, good!

Yeah, there haven't been any terror alerts like that here in a long time. I guess they finally realized we weren't buying it ;)

Is that like the yellow alerts and orange alerts? I vaguely remember that and something about duct tape... I thought it was all pretty dumb personally. I wasn't paying a lot of attention to the news back then though, as 2001 was the year of my trauma. I did watch the twin towers going down on Sept. 11 and felt like the world was coming to an end... it was pretty surreal. But at the same time, I was still underage then and on the run from my family... I had just run off a couple of months previous to that. So Sept. 11 has less significance to me than my own personal trauma, which was on January 4th of that year.

Hmm, that makes me think also, maybe I am starting to feel bad because my trauma anniversary is coming up??? It is less than a month away now. I was really ill from it last year.

Yup, all that. The duct tape one was particularly stupid.

That would make sense, Evie. Try to take extra good care of yourself. Maybe being away will help with that? I really hope so, anyway.

i hate the the crowds but i just look at their not coming with me to my freinds house
and they all lost their lugage on the corsell
keep your head up the hardest part is over the booking and arangements

Really logan?? Not for me. Arrangments don't freak me out at all actually. They can all be done online now, you don't have to speak to anyone. Anyways, I didn't have to do any arrangements... Mum did everything, for all of us.

The crowds, the rushing, all the unknowns... those are what's bad for me.

Yeah, the arrangements are the easiest part for me...it is the rest that is damn near impossible but we shall do it, huh, Evie? =)

I don't know whether it will help Evie but is there some way you may be able to shift your focus and think about the tranquility of Angel falls and things of like - trying to not think about the crowds etc? I personally hate unknowns but it is just an idea. You know, like when you are at the doctors and they tell you to envisage yourself lying on the beach etc?

My thoughts are that the things you do know are that you will be with your family and they will protect you as much as they can and I am sure the plans made were done so with you in mind. I am not saying you have no need to worry, but perhaps reminding yourself of these things may help ease your stress a little.

Did you have any luck finding out what the house looked like as I thought that was a good idea?

As I don't have PTSD this may all be stupid but it was just some ideas I thought may help :)

No it doesn't sound stupid Nicolette. I appreciate your suggestions. Visualization has helped me in some instances. Not sure about Angel Falls specifically though, I want to see it but I am super scared to go to Venezuela at all (because of the Colombian guerrillas and the military aspect of Venezuela in general). Actually I might not even be going to Venezuela. Travis and Krista are staying in Curacao because of 10 month old Lucas, just too hard travelling with him... and I might just stay behind with them. I'll see how I feel once I get there.

Yes I am going to try to remind myself that my family is there, I'm going to stick really close to Dad during the actual travel, as he makes me feel more safe than anyone. The only problem is I really do have a phobia of crowds. I'm going to try hard to apply everything I've learned though. I sometimes have no troubles in busy shops.. usually I do but once in a while I am okay, and right now I'm trying to figure out for myself what was different, the times I had no trouble. I'd love if I could figure that out and use it before I go.

The people who own the house promised to send photographs by email, but I haven't received them yet. I hope they arrive soon. Thanks for your help Nicolette.

Het Batgirl!

I got a good idea for you to handle the crowds. Years and years ago a music teacher told me to just imagine that everyone is dressed only in their underwear! You will so busy giggling you won't have time to worry or get frightened!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good trip to you. Happy holidays GRAMA-HERC

Oh haha Herc, I remember getting told that too, in school when we had to do speeches. I haven't heard anyone say that for ages. Who knows, maybe it would help? If I was laughing I likely wouldn't be as afraid. Thanks I am going to try it! I hope you have a very nice holiday too, hope you get to see your daughter and grandchild.