hello,

i dont know how to start... my native language is not english, so i am sorry for spelling misstakes...

i got my ptsd-diagnosis in 2005.
i had cognitive behavior therapy and emdr-therapy (which unfortunately did not work properly, because my reactions were so intense - my therapist did not dare to use it again) for about 1.5 years. now i've had a break for about a year... i am thinking of continuing therapy now... maybe with another therapist? don't know... i also had medication, an antidepressivum called tresleen (sertralin) for about a year. i still have alprazolam for emergency cases - i only take about 6 pills a year...

i am happly married - my husband is just like an angel in these difficult days... i have an almost 3 year old daughter, a really cute girl... and a dog.

okay. that's me. :)

salome

Welcome to the forum! Don't worry about your English, PTSD has a universal language! ;)

bec

It's a struggle to decide, isn't it? And a chore to find a therapist. Good luck with your decision.

I like your accent;).

Welcome to the forum.

hi,

hm... my last therapist was really good - it is no exaggeration if i say that she saved my life... during several months i needed to devide my day in 10-minute-parts and almost "celebrate" every 10-minute-part i survived (without committing suicide) - wow, i still start shaking when i even think of that time... horrible... she brought me back to an almost normal life... i surely have ups and downs - but when i have a good time can enjoy life again... i did not think that this would be possible... anyway - i cannot tell a reason why not continuing therapy with her... i somehow have the feeling that she told me anything she knows... and i have the feeling that she is a bit "overstrained" with my case... i don't know...

nevertheless there is still one part of my life that got completely destroyed by my trauma. i think that it would be better to speak to a professional about it - better on the long run...

i looked up another therapist, a councellor for the UNICEF on human rights, specialist for torture victims. so i hope i will not overstrain the next therapist. ;) i had to wait for an appointment for 2 months. today she cancelled it (she is ill), and gave me another date in about A MONTH. i am not sure if i want to wait such a long time... hm... i mean: all my family is living in a kind of "state of emergency" since i started thinking of taking on the therapy... i feel much worse just because i am WONDERING whether or not to continue... i'd need a professional's opinion about the whole case... but i need it now, not with a delay of quarter of a year...

i lack patience.

i know.

you make me smile. :-) what accent do i have???

thanx for listening,
s.

We all run into this. Unless we have a specially trained therapist in PTSD and trauma, forget it. They run out of what to do, how to help, and quickly burn out trying to help us. They tend not to know what to do most of the time! ;)

Even the ones with specialized training can burn out. They can develop secondary trauma too. It's a risk they run when working with hardcore cases like ours. Your definitely not alone with that.

bec

hi,

my latest therapist was specialized in trauma. she was the perfectly right person for me at that time! but i think there are always 2 persons involved: patient and therapist... and the therapist gives advice, the patient picks out what is suitable for him... and maybe it is like in sports: you need more than one trainer to pick out all you need...

i don't know...

thank you for listening... :-)

s.

Sounds like you've already made your decision, Salome. It's hard to jump through all the hoops that you need to go through when you need it most, though.

I had a counselor once that started to cry while I was recounting an incident. She stopped the therapy. Her crying was helpful to me, but everyone has their limits and I guess that professional "distance" is required.

I'm sorry for your suffering and cry for you too. I get angry with my culture for being more concerned about their hair than the insanity that is riding rough-shod over so many people.

Your accent is a rhythm I don't how to describe. It's a visual thing. Poetic.

Patience? What is that? It's as elusive to me as peace.

yes... yesterday while writing i made my decision: i will not go on with my therapy unless the new therapist gives me an appointment within the next 2 weeks.
i believe in god... i was waiting for the date yesterday so desperately... and now she is ill... such an answer is an answer, too. maybe it is not the right time to restart... maybe next year... i live quite well with my ptsd now - much better than i ever thought i would!!! it is not too bad... :-)

> I get angry with my culture for being more concerned about their hair than the insanity that is riding rough

where are you from??? i do not think that it is the same in my environment... i was really shocked by some stories i read here yesterday... so little empathy, so little understanding from close friends or doctors... i am lucky that i never made such an experience... i always thought MY story is nothing... and the other people told me that it is not! in hospital they told me that most of the people who had the same thing as i kill themselves... i have always been taken seriously...
surely it is true what bec says: therapists with no idea of trauma CANNOT help. this happened to me too, the specialized therapist later said, the other one re-traumatized me...

>Your accent is a rhythm I don't how to describe.

sorry for that. *ashamed*

>Patience? What is that? It's as elusive to me as peace.

i don't know what patience is. but i know what peace is - from the moment i almost died... the happiest, peaceful moment in my life so far.

regards,
s.

the new therapist just gave me a ring: she gave me a date for the 8th of january.

oh my god. my feelings are like a rollercoaster... i just were thinking of NOT taking up therapy again, unless she makes an earlier date...
and now she did and i am not sure if i'm happy or not.



i am really nervous about that... so carry on with my fear until jan 8th...

s.