I fear I may be stirring the pot slightly, however I did want to point out that, in my estimation of things, the term "severe PTSD" is not a label in the same sense as military PTSD or PTSD from rape, an MVA and so on. Rather it is a measurement of how severe an individual's symptoms are, and how disabled one is as far as coping with day to day living. PTSD is on a spectrum, not unlike autism or bipolar disorder. Some have it more severely than others. And, one may have severe PTSD from any trauma, military, rape or otherwise, regardless of cause or circumstance.

I mention this because I have noticed a trend here upon the forum, in that certain individuals appear to be judging others based on their abilities to control symptoms and quality of daily living. Several members have confided in me privately that they feel hurt by this. Some who are, for example, capable of working and interacting with the public on a regular basis assume that they are further along in their recovery than those who are incapable of such activities. The truth of the matter is however, some people will never be capable of certain activities, due to the severity of their diagnosis.

Take for example two individuals, both suffering PTSD. One individual has it from a single incident, has a rather narrow portion of their life in which they are ultimately effected, and otherwise has had a decent life and good support from family and friends. The other has PTSD from 20 years of constant torture, is triggered in many areas of life, and has little support. Let's be honest here, whilst both sufffer PTSD, their levels of functioning and abilities to manage their symptoms will be far different. That is simply common sense.

I had breast cancer 11 years ago. It was of course a horrible scare for me; I had a breast removed and required radiation treatments for 6 weeks. However, shortly afterwards I went into remission, the cancer never resurfaced and now I am considered cured. My daughter Evie on the other hand, who also has cancer, has endured a year of painful treatments, chemotherapy and radiation as well as several surgeries, and she still may need more treatments in future. Do I understand how frightening it is to have cancer? Of course, I had it myself, and I can empathize with Evie to a certain extent. However, it would quite arrogant of me to assume my level of emotional and physical suffering is anywhere near hers, or that her ability to "bounce back" emotionally after the cancer is in remission will be the same as mine. No one would dispute that she has had the harder time of things, and so will have to work harder to achieve the same levels of emotional management.

My point is not to divide, but to encourage everyone here to think beyond themselves and their personal experience of PTSD. You all have PTSD, you all share the same the feelings and symptoms and so on. However, you are not clones of one another, each person's situation is unique. Rather than judging others based on your own unique experience of PTSD, trying "thinking outside of the box" so to speak. Some people will have more difficulties than you, through no fault of their own. Do not assume that because you are able to engage in certain activities that you are somehow superior. Others who cannot achieve the same levels of "success" are working just as diligently upon themselves as you are. Conversely, do not assume you are "less than" or lazy simply if others seem to be achieving more than you. Better yet, do not compare yourself to others at all.

When posting, do not make sweeping statements and generalizations regarding recovery. However well intentioned, these statements can be hurtful. Refer your own experiences, and identify them as your own. Never judge others by your own experience nor assume they are capable of what you are capable. Every member is unique.

Thanks for bringing this up Mum, I have been wanting to say some of this but was afraid to. I have a confession to make. Although I have been diagnosed on the severest end of the scale myself, when I first came here a year ago, I was in denial about how much my PTSD effected my life. I was also in denial about the permanency of it. I had fantasies of eventually being totally cured, and never having to avoid anything that triggered me. This attitude made me judge others here very harshly. There were a couple of people in particular I severely judged. I saw them struggling for weeks with things that I could accomplish in a couple of days. In my mind I took their inventories, accusing them of laziness, self-pity, and so on. It wasn't until much later that I realized that their situations were unique and different than mine. In spite of my own severe PTSD, one individual particularly had a much longer and more severe trauma than myself. There was no way I could compare our situations, it was very unfair of me, and I regret it now.

Now that I have accepted that my PTSD is permanent, and there are certain things I cannot do, I see I was triggered by this other person because I did not want to accept my own limitations. Seeing their limitations scared me. It was easier to judge them as lazy than to face the truth. In a way it is poetic justice in a sense, as I now feel hurt when others judge me based on what I can't do. What goes around comes around I guess. ;)

Comparing traumas does not help us. However accepting that our severity does differ, does.

I am one of the people not too impressed with the constant comparison in severity of symptoms. I have severe PTSD. It's just the way it is. I work damn hard on myself. The chances of me working are very slim unless I can work at home. Grocery shopping will always be a challenge for me. I may never be able to be around military environments. Even though I work hard on myself.

I have gotten sick of the well.. just do this.. attitude from people looking down their noses because they have milder symptoms. I don't even bother replying to the members who do that, or act that way. Also, being told how to do it and treating it as if it can be done in just one shot, as if they have some magical cure because they live with the milder form, really pisses me off. Must be nice to be able to work, socialize etc.. and look down your noses at the rest of us.

Personally Kathy, I'm glad you stirred this pot. I'm tired of the mindset and judgment. I try to be understanding of those with milder symptoms and encouraging.. but it's very hard to do when they turn around and look down their nose at you and act like they have the cure.

Sorry bit of a rant there.. but this one has been bugging me for over a year now...

bec

Thank you, Kathy, Evie and Bec - this helps me lighten up some of the pressure I am putting on myself to just "do better" even though I know I can't. I fight, and fight hard but just because I can't do things doesn't mean I am not working on myself and issues. My heart feels comforted right now and it is easing the raging panic just a bit. Thank you...

One of the first things that i remember in group was that no matter where it stems from...the frequency of the trauma/traumas, etc.....PAIN IS PAIN! ITS ALLLLLLLLL BAD!!!

OK, I will admit I am rather lost as I don't think I have overly experienced this but apparently a few feel strongly this way. My take. This forum is about exchanging ideas. We want that. It is also strongly encouraged take what you need and leave the rest. People throw out what works for them in hopes it will help another. If it doesn't help well, you tried and you keep trying.

Like Bec's ability to go to the store now and out and about. She tries to advise me how as she has almost a mirror of my symptoms. I don't feel like bec judges me at all I sill can't though she pushes me to keep trying. I get where I can a little and relapse for months in this area. I don't feel like anyone looks down on me because I am still locked in my house off and on :) I just try to live with this the best I can and give my two cents in areas of my experience. I really thought we all did.

I will admit I do look at some posters and think can they really have PTSD when they sound like they are taking on the world? I am still trying to learn PTSD apparently is not only how I feel it and how it effects me.

I'm glad you haven't experienced much of it Veiled. Maybe you're right too that its a matter of how you look at things. Take what you like and leave the rest. I know I am guilty of taking things the wrong way on here and also taking things to heart when I should just ignore people's glib remarks. Some of the trite comments are really hard to take though. And personally I've had several PMs from people trying to be "encouraging". Maybe I should have reported some of those PMs, but how do you report someone when they have "good intentions"? And if I tell people I don't appreciate what they're saying, they don't understand where I'm coming from and think I'm a bitch. Again though, I guess I shouldn't care what others think of me.

Oksofine:

There is a difference between trauma and symptoms. We are talking about symptoms.

I firmly believe the road to hell is paved with good intentions. It's also a rather convenient term to hide behind... "I meant well" is badly abused. As long as you say you meant well, that makes it okay? Not in my book. Personally I don't care if someone thinks I'm a bitch because I stood up for myself. Being treated like I'm lazy, stupid or a child because I have more severe symptoms, that take longer for me to work through and some that will just never improve is not okay.

I have a lot of resentment over this (in case no one noticed haha.) I have just either told that person off (much more nicely than I wanted to, let me assure you) or just written them off entirely if they keep doing it. What bothers me even more, is that not only is it still being done to other members, but it's almost becoming a group mentality with some. It's not okay. Far from it.

bec

OK, again you know I am lost, Bec :)... But how is relaying your personal experience being taken as being put down or that you are not working "hard enough"? We all know this takes a long damn time. Maybe some people make it just sound so easy but we all know it isn't as we still struggle. Maybe they don't mean to make it sound so easy... it may have taken years for them to get there or maybe they are still doing it and from trial and error they promoted what is working for them, hence the purpose here.

I think some people don't really consider that what they are saying is hurting others (myself included!). They don't look at things from the point of view of the person they are talking to. They don't take the time to consider the other person's situation. They say what they think "sounds good" rather than speaking honestly from the heart.