I have only read Kathy's post, as I don't have the concentration today to read everything, so apologies if I repeat something others have said....

This is a good post, Kathy, and thanks for posting it. It's one of those subjects that probably doesn't get talked about. Whilst I am not someone who has experienced what you have described here on this forum, and haven't known this is an issue here- you say some feel hurt by comments in relation to what you raise in this post, but don't feel able to voice this and so it's good something has been said. I'm a strong believer that people should be able to say what they feel and think, and it's not always easy where emotions are involved.

Raising the fact that PTSD exists on a continuum is an important point... yes, some people struggle to function more than others. This is not a competition. Why are we comparing who has it better? Who can do more, and who doesn't and can't? In truth, regardless of label, nobody actually knows how another feels and suffers, so instead of making assumptions, I think people should just concern themselves with themselves in getting better. Simply, if we can take positive things from others then we should, whether they have severe PTSD or not... this forum is about getting better, and supporting each other through that quest. I don't see what all this about severity has to do with that really.

Just because someone has PTSD to such a severe degree that they don't function as well as others, does it mean that they are not doing as well in recovery? No way! Recovery is relative. You might have an agoraphobic who never set foot out of their house a day in their life. A year later, they manage to leave their house for an hour a day. Another agoraphobic may not be so agoraphobic in that they were always able to leave their house 3 hours a day, but could not cope for any longer length of time. A year later, this person may not be any further forward in changing that. Who's doing better recovery wise? The more severe agoraphobic.

I guess my point is... the focus on this is wrong. Comparing yourself to another isn't a good thing... each of us have PTSD. And each of us have particular battles, particular obstacles, and common obstacles to overcome. It's how we as individual people learn to overcome our issues that is important. We may all have PTSD... but we're all still individual people with individual lives, issues, and things to overcome in PTSD, as well as the general commonalities we all have symptom-wise. It makes no difference how far along someone else is to our individual recovery, unless we take good pointers from that person and use it positively. So why is the 'severity' even relevant?

Agreed. We all can empathise and understand certain things. But there will always be aspects of a person's life that others should never assume to know as much about. If somebody told me they knew EXACTLY how I should think and feel because they went through something similar, I'd probably put their head through a window. But if somebody tells me how it was for them whilst appreciates my experiences and feelings and impacts may be different to them, then I can thank them for their support.

This just makes my point clearer... totally agree.

Similarly, whilst nobody here has done this, I have experienced off this forum some people think because they have a 'more severe' problem, that my suffering is not as important or as much. Nope... I suffer just as much in some ways, less in others, and more in other ways still. I function better is some respects, and worse in others. And I don't actually know whether I would be classed as 'severe' or not... more to the point, I don't really care. I know where I want to be, and what 'better' is to me, and that's all I'm worried about.

I guess you just can't judge so simplistically, and it achieves nothing. So why bother?

She cat, please read this. Hmm first it says.. I'll use an example. Secondly, where in there is the quote you use? In fact, here is what you say I said.

It's not. This is NOT about you. This is not a beat up She Cat thread. I did not use your statement. I used a scenario, one of which has been replayed on this forum, countless times. Do you really think you are the only person to have ever had that conversation? I've been here for over a year. This conversation has replayed many, many times.

This thread is about the members that do this. We have piles of new members. We have so many that trying to address each one, individually, is not possible. We are trying to get a point across. We are trying to raise peoples awareness. We are trying to help others move past a hurtful mindset that holds them back from getting better.

The only thing you seem to be capable of is making this about you. Your arrogance is astounding. This was NOT and is NOT about work. It is also NOT ABOUT YOU. I have said that already and yet it's still being yammered on and on about.Why don't you go back and reread every post here. Maybe you will learn something instead of defending yourself over and over again, when the issue has been clarified numerous times.

bec

Feeling that there was an implication is your issue. There was none on my part, and I do not look down at others because they can't work. There was a time that I couldn't work or function either, and when push came to shove I did what I had to do. As everyone here does what they have to do also.

I have re-read the entire thread twice. Nope it's not all about me.

You can call it arrogance or whatever you wish Becvan. I call it survival.

Well said Lisa, you made some very good points about the continum of PTSD, thanks for making it even more clearer, eventually I might get it!

Looking forward to the ebook Anthony (hint hint).

I have read through this entire thread and had to ponder it before making a post. I even went to bed and tried to sleep, but I kept thinking about this thread, hence why I'm back at the keyboard at 4:30 in the morning!

I'm really not sure what to write but that I'm now going to be more careful about what I write in my posts. I only have my own PTSD experience to derive from...so that is my only true understanding. I do believe that PTSD can be lived with and to not settle for your current suffering if you don't want to be there! I know that PTSD can be incredibly debilitating and horrific and it is such a hard road to travel, but it does and can get better. Me saying that is not putting myself "up here" and putting others "down here", but me trying to remind people that there are sufferers that are living (functioning) well with PTSD.

Ok..that statment above, I'm guilty of doing this, I think. When you said this Evie, my heart plunged because I see how you can take this...well, personally. This person who wrote this to you probably just wants you to feel better soon, to join him/her in feeling good. I so badly want all of you to feel better and to live life with love and trust. But yes, I'm guilty of this and I will stop now. That being said, though, I don't want bland responses of empty words all over the forum because people are afraid they're offending someone even with good intentions...you know?

Ok..enough rambling...Time to sleep on this to see if the morning brings any new insights.

I was just chatting with Nic about this, and derived the following. There is nothing wrong if you made a statement, "I handle my anxiety better than my friend," as this is a personal comparison that you have your friend to look at often and not just through interactive talk. It is impossible to gauge any comparison through text. It is impossible to gauge a comparison to one self with collective statements, ie. I handle my anxiety better than most with PTSD! Unless you know a lot of people personally with PTSD, it would be hard to gauge this type of statement.

The thing is this though; people make statements and use words that we often do not mean to use, though our intent is typically good. There is certainly no need to attack one another over such things, though instead just ask for clarification using different words and terms. We all do this, and I mean "we all do this" at times. It is impossible to "always" be politically correct in our choice of words considering states of anxiety and denial vary day to day, week to week, hour to hour even.

To be perfectly honest.... I think this type of thread would be better discussed after the holiday period when anxiety levels are not peaked, knowingly or not, having to deal with the holiday period and put on any faces of niceness and the like. Even if you enjoy the period, anxiety will still be increased in most simply due to the pressure of doing, being and seeing people, travelling and so forth. It creates anxiety, and I have noticed a rather tight influx in posting bitterness leading into the Christmas period. Coincidence? I think not....

I must apologize. When I began this thread I had no idea it would become so controversial; that was never my intent. Additionally, posting it right before the holidays was very poor judgment on my part. I wonder now if perhaps I should not have posted at all.

Anthony is quite correct, this is a very stressful time for all, myself included. The truth of the matter is, December is most stressful for me. I am not dealing well with the death of my son, and December is a particularly hard month as it is his birthday, Christmas, and also our wedding anniversary (our anniversary is today, in fact). I hadn't realized it until my family confronted me yesterday however I believe I have become overly involved in some of the problems here, worrying about people here far too much when I should be dealing with my own problems re: my son.

In any event I do sincerely apologize for this. Now I shall cease being the hypocrite and get off the computer as I ordered my family to have a technology break during the holidays !!

It is very sad that a simple and so very true observance on PTSD symptoms has become a blow out of personal issues and imagined accusations, I believe the all Kathy was trying to say was that everyone reacts differently with their symptoms and that some feel theirs more severely than others and that some are able to do things for whatever reason that others are not. Please feel free to correct me if I am wrong.

Every time I hear someone else's trauma, no matter what that trauma is, I am horrified. Despite the fact that I have multiple traumas myself, it simply appalls me to hear or read about the horrific things that make up our individual journeys. That being said, I'd like to add simply this... Who am I to judge or compare any body's reactions, responses or general points of view as the results of these horrors?
My life is a continuous struggle. I take it on face value that each of yours is too. All I want from and for this forum, is the we help each other get through another @#*%ing day. "Can't we all just get along?"

I can't believe I just read through all of these posts. I have such an attention problem. Anyway, I don't think this thread was a bad idea. IMO

I seen a lot of different views, learned a lot about individuals, learned to grasp how conflict resolution and clarification is important.

I also learned there are a lot of people who are dealing with a lot of different types/degrees of pain associated to PTSD.

I also learned that people won't always like what others say no matter how well it was intended.

I also learned I don't have to like what some one says, but hopefully I can learn to deal with it the best I can through the resources I've gained here and other places.

AND..... I learned this is all about trying to recover on my own terms in my own time.

Sorry if anyone disagrees on how I feel about this thread, but I thought it was educational, insightful and thought provoking. If every post was perfect, and sugar coated, I doubt anyone would heal as quick without threads like this. IMO

Peace
Tammy