Physically exhausted
confused
helpless
at war with my inner self

I feel very depressed. I invited a woman and her 2 children over for lunch tomorrow and asked her to make sure she called me this morning if she could not make it before I went shopping. She called last night to say she could. I just talked with her mom and she said one of the children woke up sick this morning. Now why couldn't she have called me? I borrowed money to shop and do baking. Now I have this food cooked and no company. People are so rude. I just met her and was hoping for a friendship but if she is like this than once again I am alone and than prefer to be alone. I will not be treated with disrespect. I hear she does this kind of thing alot if something better comes up.
I tried with another woman last week to see if we could become friends possibly and she tried to make a pass at my husband.
True friends are so difficult to find in this world.

I've been feeling mostly positive and good both days and evenings.

Yet, feeling periodically guilty and disconnected from others, (not including immed. family) but still, uncomfortable both here on the forum and in my daily life with knowing and trusting others. I'm mostly unable to respond or communicate much in text here these days, and just exactly why I'm unsure. Unsure as to whether it's a good thing for the time being, or a bad thing, or a temp. or permanent thing; uncertain. Most likely nothing more than I've been very busy and trying to both get certain things under control while meeting some real deadlines and while enjoying life some.

Again, I've been feeling mostly well, but tonight I viewed and read some internet news coverage that has me feeling Disgusted. Disgusted with certain realities and disgusted with myself for not only permitting myself to become aware of too much, but for having gone looking in the first place.

Rest, sleep and meditation followed by tommorrow's pers. disciplines should resolve this.

Boy, this i s a good thread.

I've been checking in with myself, trying to determine what I feel. Feeling is so difficult for me. Seems I mostly feel anger all the time.

Anger.........covering up pain. Got to allow the pain part.
The anger is killing me, the stress of it.

What am I feeling right now?

Scared, just had to confront someone.

Scared, what is she going to think of me now? Even though we came to resolution, still scared.

Some pride? I think I'll really indulge in this one.

Different----I feel just plain different from others, damaged. I feel damaged.

I feel hurt.

I feel empathy for Tlight.
I have said this on other threads on here but I really connect with your words. I am sure that others on here do to - have or had the same feelings.

You are not different though Tlight, you are unique in that you are you! But you are not different - I have felt like this for many years.

Have you checked out the books that are recommended on here? I have brought 3 of them and they really help to find perspective and understanding on how and why you feel as you do?!

Spirit x

Tired, man, I ALWAYS feel tired!!
a little excited (I get to do some planting)
calm

Today, I feel sad.
Very sad.
And I wish I had more medications to make it go away.

Sometimes I wish I was still numb.

Thanks Spirit,

No, I almost ordered a book yesterday off of Amazon, then my survival money crap got in the way. Like Wowo, a whole 12 bucks........gonna break my life.
I'm going to just do it now! Breaking old habits.

HOw am I feeling today?

Hopeful, rested, I've been meditating, like a lot! The tension in my body seems to be taking a respite. I need to remind myself to keep this up.........not back slide.

Scared. I'm going to work three days a week at a nursery 'round the corner. I start tomorrow! The owners seem like 'safe' people. If it's a good experience, it will be the FIRST good work experience of my entire life.

Calm too........like I've made some progress?

Nor...........it's OK to let yourself feel sad. It sucks, but it's actually good (At least that's what I've been told).

Hang in there, let it move through your body. Don't fight it.

How do I fel today? My life sucks. I am so sad and depressed and blue and down and in so much emotional pain.

My kittie is gone. I had to give her up for the welfare of my other 2 cats, myself and her. Everything was fine uptil we moved and the world got cut down to almost no room at all. The stress from overcroeding in a small space was making her aggressive towards others and all the cats were getting sick because of it.

So how do I feel today. I feel like s^*t