Concern Over Not Speaking - Page 2

Jen · #11 08-01-2008, 02:20 PM

Thats good to hear Kathy!
Baby steps Evie!!

anthony · #12 08-01-2008, 03:05 PM

Evie, start talking..... send me an email if you cannot talk to another, though I hope you would to Jim or Kathy first. The option is always yours, remember that.... only you can fix you Evie, nobody else can do it for you. Quiet is perfectly normal if you simply have nothing to say.... though if depressed and you know it, start talking now, get out of the house and exercise. Jim will tell you, even when you feel as though you have nothing to give physically, you will be quite amazed what you can do physically once you going.

Nicolette · #13 08-01-2008, 03:11 PM

I am happy to report I have heard a few words from Evie which is most pleasing.

Kathy · #14 09-01-2008, 12:52 AM

This morning Evie is able to speak as usual again, she was writing this morning too with little problem. Everything came out "normally" rather than fragmented and cryptic. We did push her yesterday to begin talking or at least typing, and she made an effort, so we are proud of her. She is not in a good mood today however. She cried a lot this morning, as she feels embarrassed about her lack of speech, or rather, that she tried to communicate with others outside the family and it didn't come out "normal". She was saying "I'm a freak" several times and feeling quite sorry for herself until Jim put a stop to it. She is now out with Jim. Frankly, he dragged her out of the house to help him repairs around our place. I don't think she's happy however she hasn't much choice!

Linda · #15 09-01-2008, 03:30 AM

Hope Evie will get better soon

anthony · #16 09-01-2008, 09:17 AM

Absolute best medicine to help Evie what you have both done.... well done to both you and Jim for taking such active stances and pushing Evie towards how to feel better within herself. Knowing as writing this the above worked extremely well and got Evie motivated and feeling much better about herself.

Kathy · #17 10-01-2008, 01:43 AM

Thank you Anthony, it is reassurring to get confirmation that we are acting appropriately with her. She is indeed much improved now, seems to have "snapped back" quite nicely. And she most definitely knows what she must do to get better. She simply didn't feel like doing it, that was very obvious to us yesterday morning!

I did want to stress to everyone, in case it is not clear - most of the time now, Evie pushes herself and my husband and I needn't do much. The occasions where we need to push as we recently did are becoming fewer and further between. Mostly now we simply encourage her in her efforts. She has made tremendous progress in the last few months and we are very proud of her.

Frankie · #18 10-01-2008, 10:57 AM

Good to hear Kathy ! You and Jim did the right thing in helping her and motivating her. And good for you also Evie for making the efforts you needed to make :)

Actually this is something I wonder about. My reasoning is this "When the person is suffering and goes deep in a depression state, isn't it better for their loved ones to try to push them out of this state ?" Since the sufferer doesn't want to do anything anymore, and can't think clearly for himself, isn't it up to us to slowly make them want to start "living" again ? instead of just waiting for them to come "out of it "? I always fear that just waiting could do more damage.

I often wonder about this, since I have read that at times it is better to leave them alone and not push ! I try to "push" my bf but always in a "good" way, I am never nasty with him and when he tells me "I can't talk about it" I let him be.

Jen · #19 10-01-2008, 11:45 AM

I believe if you can push them so to speak in a nice way it would probably help Frankie!
I am starting to feel that if I had pushed Hubby earlier on things may have been different. But we get caught up in our lives and try to live and put up with it.
If you are in an early relationship it probably wouldnt hurt?

Kathy · #20 11-01-2008, 04:57 AM

With Evie, Jim and I have found there are times (like the other day) when pushing her is beneficial, as she is simply being stubborn or not motivated to help herself, and needs a bit of coaxing or reminding. However, there are other times when she is truly ill and needs time to herself, rest and so on, and we do not push her then. Usually if she truly needs time to herself, she will ask for it, which is quite helpful to us. Other than her requests, we have learned through trial and error when it is right to push her and when it isn't. It is highly individual and one needs to be in tune with the habits and personality of their sufferer. It took us a year of living day to day with Evie and much honest communication, to reach the point which we now enjoy, whereby we typically know when to push and when not to.