Welcome to the forum, Mac. I can't imagine what you've been through. The PTSD club often fall into domestic/military pigeonholes as far as their initial experiences go, but once trapped in trauma, the feelings and reactions are very much the same however they were formed. I look forward to reading more from you.

:kickass:

Thanks Purdyamos. I don't care whether you are/were military or not. When I first was put in a psychiatric hospital (against my will), I was one of the few military there, as most patients were civilians. My traumatic experiences in the military, and your traumatic experiences (same or not), result in the same outcome usually: PTSD. I guess what I am trying to say here is that I believe your post (above) to be exactly right. Thank you

Welcome Mac :)

Yep, regardless how we got the trauma, PTSD is the same across the board. Same symptoms, same ending lifestyle, same problems we all face on a day to day basis, same shit, just a different way off making it to the shit (PTSD).

Mac, I know exactly what you are saying mate with the fu*k knuckles higher up, and there are many within all military systems, mine being the Australian Army. I guess because of the natured person I am, I have never been big on bullshit, nor taking it, and can be quite an intimidating person when I want to be, so whenever I had an officer attempt to stand their ground with me when I knew I was right, and some wank of a decision they where making was not in the best interest of soldiers, I let them have it. Funny enought though, I am one of those who just take to the military. It was never hard, nor did I ever find it challenging, in fact, even without PTSD, I was thinking about discharge because of the way the socio-economic policies where taking it from an Army to a soft cock organisation. Trying to run an Army with civilian legislations is just not approachable, nor managable, which the Army is now finding out the hard way with so many problems than earlier days. When I went through, they still had the box rooms, where you would get taken for a fight against the corporals, if you thought you were good enough, but they just also got phased out at the same time also.

My job thank christ still had some hard core about it, and you could still take your mate, whether liked or not, out the back and give them a tap around the head if they got everyone in the shit, or where just being a dick. No more off that... in fact, the Australian Army now is more like a civilian job which occassionally requires the use of a rifle in a different location. Because of this peace time BS, when you get soldiers into operational zones, the weak are shown very quickly, in which then you have to go through all sorts of bullshit to get them out and home, replaced by someone who is capable of handling the pressures and environments.

I loved my job very much, and did it even when running other business interests outside of the military, but remained in the military because I really did love that job. Anyway... if it wasn't for me having one hell of a good Warrant Officer and the Major (Office Commanding) who happened to have a father who was a Vietnam Vet with PTSD, so he knew I wasn't full of shit about what was happening with me, and he could see it himself. He protected me very well from all directions, both of them did actually, and let me get discharged with some integrity and tact, and even wrote reports to reflect if I recovered, I was recommended back into service if I wanted. I found these people very rare within an organisation that is supposed to be a family environment, and actually give a shit about someone other than themselves, especially subordinates. My soldiers loved my arse because I used to cover for them and take any heat on their behalf, then if they stuffed up, I would serve up punishments to them, because they would atleast appreciate them better from me, than some snotnose who was just out on some power trip.

I think much could be learnt from the mistakes of military systems around the world... but I doubt it will ever occur.

Anthony, I totally relate to your post (above). I guess thats the connection that Veterans have. In the U.S. military, what you've described above with regard to essentially slapping somebody upside their head, is what we called a "wall-to-wall" session. I was 'in' since 1992 and by then, "wall-to-wall" was just something troops joked about. And you're right about that so-called 'family' theme being bullshit (by the way, I'm glad I can cuss a little here), because that's exactly what it is... when the going get's rough, it seems to be every man for himself.
I had troops hand-pick me to be their supervisor, and like you, stood my ground and didn't kiss ass... I earned my ranks with good-'ol 'overtime' and dedication. I took care of my troops that I supervised, as if they were like high performance formula one race cars. After I came back, my boss kept telling me he was getting complaints that I was so mean and rude with everyone. I knew I was having problems at home (especially in the wee hours of the morning), but didn't want to bring it up (stigma, etc...). And when I went to work, I thought I was keeping these problems hidden... so when my boss confronted me with the complaints, I felt like he was just fu**ing with me because I thought I was doing such a great job at not bringing my problems to work with me. Although I tried to let by-gones be by-gones, I no longer trusted him anyway because of the fact that my body armor sat in his office while I was in Iraq. Ironically, after being put in another department to do miscellaneous stuff for getting troops ready to deploy, I found official paperwork from March-April 2003 time-frame stating that I need to have body armor and a weapon. These assholes, before I left (deployed), told me I would get this stuff 'in- country' if needed. Well, the first place I went to... I shit in a port-a-let, the second place... wherever I could find. You had only what you brought- there was no armory and such. Most of the Australian personnel stayed with the Americans in a building called the "crack-house" (called that because this building's condition was just like an American crack-house... no power, water, etc...). I guess back in 2003, the mentality of the Air Force was that no one in their ranks (except certain specialties) ever goes anywhere where personnel would need such personal protection thanks to all the previous 'vacation' deployments that Air Force personnel usually got sent to. In the past, Air Force personnel were usually sent to places that are already well established. I guess I should be thankful, and I know I'm either blessed or someone/something supernatural must have been looking over me, because it could have went really bad for me... especially when I was abandoned (by Army personnel) to walk on this highway, out in the middle of bum-fu** Iraq... in uniform and unarmed. When dubya said, "Mission accomplished," how come so many casualties kept coming in????????????? bye.

Hi Mac, welcome to the forum...I know a little bit about war...though from a civilian perspective. Hope this forum helps :)