Well guess i know my answer now.

Fate has a funny way of working - if it exists. He asked me what i am doing on the web all the time so i told him and said he could ahve a look if he wanted. He said "No not really i would just think *****************************" ( sensored this because it will hurt you like its hurting me so badly right now). Grrrr i know i said i didnt want to force him and i dont but im actually feeling sooooooooooooooooo angry about it right now. Is that really what he thinks about me? he just asked me to look at aprogramme he wanted to show me after that and i just bit his head off. How can he expect me to do that when he has just rejected my feeling and the way i am at straight off? I love him so much but he really doesnt understand. I'm sure he just wants me off the computer but i need to be here and he cant see that. I feel so low now - just want to break up into pieces and dissappear. Im so sorry if this angers you too. Just had to get it out. Sorry.

Perhaps mightsurvive you should share the censored portion and not worry about people being hurt or not? It might make you feel better, if you have no one else to speak to regarding this. In any event, I am sorry it did not go well, that is unfortunate.

well in short he just said that it was silly to think like we do and that we should we more or less get over it - and thats not fair, nor is it right. Its not a way of thinking its the way i am. how do you get over something like this? you dont.

No we don't get over it. We find ways to lower stress, we find new coping skills, we find out things about ourselves that we never knew before, we find out that we are very brave, very strong people. We find out that we are compassionate and filled with empathy for others.

It's not fair that he doesn't understand, and it isn't nice that he isn't supportive. It's ok though. You have support here and you are trying to heal yourself. So keep moving forward. It does and can get better, and so can you. We may never be the same as before, but we can get better to a degree, if not a lot.

Hang in there.

Thank you She Cat
I know you are right in saying that we wont get over it but will learn to cope. It just hurts so badly to think he sees me like that. Feels like he doesnt care at all. But i know he does really. He just doesnt understand. I allowed him in to try and help me. I never do that but i thought that maybe it was worth the risk. But now im learning that letting someone in is the wrong thing to do. And that really hurts. I feel so rejected after all my efforts to try and open up. Why do i even bother? It just compounds my thoughts that i should keep my mouth quiet. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Thought i was doing well and then this hits me in the face. Its not the fact that he said no to coming on here. Its the fact that he thinks im acting silly about my trauma. I'm not im just trying to survive the only way i know how. and he doesnt understand that...... right now im really going round in circles.

I asked my husband to come here and look around...not to join. I wanted that to be his decision. Even though he didn't join, he's very supportive of me being here and a lot of things I read here (especially in the carer's section) become things we discuss. I know we talk a lot more about issues than we did before. And I know that the forum has helped a bit with this.

Whatever he decides, you've got to remember that it's his decision. No pressure.

Lisa

Mightsurvive

I'm sorry that you're having to go through this.

As I read your posts I'm wondering if your husband is in denial. Perhaps you have accepted your diagnosis of ptsd and he has not. Could he be frightened by it? Sometimes we all try to hide from problems that frighten us. Maybe he just needs some time to catch up to you.

Meanwhile, take care of yourself. You have support here.

Ruddy

Awww thank you Ruddy.

I hadnt seen it like that. Maybe im just expecting too much from him. He could be frightened that he is losing me because i spend more time on here trying to sort my head out than i do talking to him at the moment. Maybe if he thinks he accepts that i have ptsd then he thinks... oh i dont know. but it is possible that hes in denial and that hes scared too. I can symathise with him if he's trying to hide from this problem. I need to be patient.

You look after yourself too. i know im not alone here.

Hee hee, ummm what he said, I could only imagine what someone said about a site full of people with a mental disorder! It is OK. You won't be hurting people here saying it for the most part (I am sure some may). My husband does not see me as "mentally ill", but others with this? He is more blunt and not always so kind. I really cannot remember the exacts how I got him to look here.

He has learned in time mental illness does not mean lack of sense.

You did not make a mistake letting someone in. Don't just bottle it up. This will backfire badly. Some will be willing to learn in time and accept others won't. That simple sadly. Hell, my mother LOL... She send me articles on mold in the home and since I lived in a swampy area for a few years she swore this is my problem. And my diet, she thinks if I don't eat red meat I will get better. OK, I rarely eat it anyway and how that adds up to PTSD? But to give you an idea some are just like that.

Maybe you should just suggest to him to read the info section. It is very useful for those who live with us as well as us. Good points it is not all based on personal opinions but mainly facts. From what I observe from my guy... Get the "emotional" opinions out of the way and just get to the real meat of things.

Just some thoughts and so much luck to you on this! You are trying and that really counts.

Thanks marlene
Glad to hear that it has helped you and your hubby to be here.Dont think he will even consider looking at this site but maybe that will come in time.... and maybe not. Its not his decission that i'm hurting over and i have to hope that he will change his opinion on ptsd in the future.