Hiya veiled
Glad to know my huby isnt the only one who sees it this way... sort of. Feeling numb at the moment so alls well. I cant change what he thinks and i have to acceot that. Only he can change what he thinks i guess. I hope more than anything that he does.

Don't know when ill have the confidence to let anyone else back in apart from on here and i know i have my new counsellor too. But hey. He wanted a "cuddle" tonight and i just couldnt with the way i was feeling about what he thinks but i think im over it... or is it the numbness?

Wow your mum... and i thought i was mad lol.

I'm not going to broach the subject with him again unless he brings it up. Maybe one day he wil want to read the information section on here. You never know.

And yes i am trying... very trying lol.

Take care

In time my mom's points of view have turned into a running joke here. She is very much in denial how such a strong person is "broken". It was funny as hell about the red meat as she seemed to forget I owned a a farm raising birds as our bulk meat supply that O personally processed and lived on the coast and was an avid fisherman.

My twin who means very well was upset when some blessed metal she gave me I stopped wearing. (I am not as up to date on being a Catholic as I should so not much idea what it is to do) She swore this would help so much, it turned out it just got entangled with my cross and my hair. Drove me nuts.

My ex husband swears I just need to let things roll off my back and I will be fine...

Now the bizzaro world is my hubby and his family. They all read up on it and go out of their way to be helpful (not enabling) and understanding without ever making me feel like a freak. Because they did research.

You know the book I Can't Get Over It may be good at putting things in a way he can get. Maybe sparing an appointment with counselor. These can be very good at helping the spouse get on the same page. Your appointments may be very limited but this may be good use of one visit. My doc was very good at putting things in a way he got and rephrased what I meant. He did very well also at rephrasing "man talk" into a way my mind got. It did worlds of good.

Mightsurvive,

Two things I've noticed as a running theme through here with people who deal with PTSD-sufferers and care givers-(myself and mine included), is 1-That it's either accepted as a new reality for all involved or not. And 2-Once you accept it, you tend to have a bit of a melt down. Not sure why. Maybe because reality finally breaks through the walls of denial and you get scrambled in the brain for a bit? I'm sure there's a very technical term for it...I just don't have it.

Both my husband and I had our little melt downs. Mine was prior to his. It's hard changing your reality. It's hard for your partner to change their reality. But it is necessary to do for dealing with this or any other chronic mental issues. When my hubby finally had his, I was half relieved, half scared (he doesn't show emotion that much...boy he did that day!) and I lost my tangerine tree. He took it apart piece by piece while ranting and raving about everything. Now that we've both accepted this as part of our lives, it's been a whole lot easier for both of us.

What ruddy said about your hubby needing time to catch up is so true. Remember, his world has been turned upside down just as yours has, too. He's probably scared trying to figure out what happened and how does he get things back to being known and secure.

Being there for each other, being honest and open are some of the best ways to get over this rough patch of working the realities of PTSD into your lives.

Lisa

Mightsurvive,

I've also asked my husband to join here. I sent him the link. He hasn't come yet. When I asked him why, he said something like, it feels weird and overwhelming. I think he's still having a tough time accepting this. So you're definitely not alone. The other day, I emailed him one of the carer articles, but haven't asked him yet if he read it. We have talked about it, and he seems willing, but I think he is still pretty freaked out about the whole thing, even though I was diagnosed more than two years ago and he has seen the changes in me. He has agreed to go to one of my therapy sessions. Maybe that will help. Anyway, just my experience so far.

Good luck, and maybe a therapy session together would help, as others have suggested. Your husband may well be in some combination of denial, feeling overwhelmed, and just plain upset that this has invaded your life together.

Hodge

One point I suppose my husband and I should have added however neglected to, is that we did not join immediately after Evie. I believe Jim arrived about 2 months after she had been here, and I was another 2 months after that. Point being, it did take us time, it wasn't immediate.

My parents don't quite get me either, especially my dad. they are supportive in some ways and restrictive in others. For example, my dad didn't want to get me a cable box for fear that I would watch more TV (as if that were possible lol). I had to convince him that I am grown and it should be my decision how much TV I watch, even if he doesn't agree with that decision. He reluctantly gave in, but it took work on my behalf. The point is, sometimes they mistake my PTSD symptoms for childlike qualities and try to control me. It often seems like they don't even try, so i fear asking them to do things like read the forum. I'd think I am not worth it if they said no.
So, I just gathered all my courage and asked my mom to read it... she actually said yes! My dad... still scared but 1 out of 2 ain't bad.
Anyway, Thanx for this Thread as the advice offered here helped me. I might even send my dad a link if I can figure out how.
Take care mightsurvive and thanx again for the help.
Morgan

Really great news Morgan.... excellent to hear. Thanks.