I have told a couple of friends. One ignored it when I brought it up, and another treated it as if "Aren't you over that yet?" I've let those people fade out of my lives.

Another friend has been really understanding; I'll tell her when I'm having bad symptoms. The fourth person I just told (she was wondering why I was missing so much work--doctors' appointments), but she has noticed and been very accepting of my symptoms, so I think giving her a reason for them won't change things much.

tude, I've done that very same thing, for the same reasons, no less than a 1000X and likely more. 1st joined as a member of a 12-step meeting 20yrs. ago, in fact.

A great suggestion and one worth following through with. When I journal, at the end of it all, I've sorted through much and identified what I am feeling and why, it has the effect upon me of gaining personal insight, a greater self-understanding and an increasing like, compassion and mercy for myself.

Much of my trauma on my list was fueled by things like others self-disregard and loathing, another's jealousies, fears, untreated illness and unresolved pers. trauma.

I was retraumatized when I later witnessed any of those mirrored dynamics in 12-step meetings. It was a constant restimulation and retraumatization when and if I dared to speak, or when and if I kept my mouth closed as I had all through my life-time of abuse and trauma.

As a PTSD sufferer, when it was my desires to get outside of myself and/or to alleviate some traumatic pain and lonliness, I've yet to find a 12-step meeting suited for accomplishing this. Yes, I have found a very few people that understand there and not one of us are threatened nor hurt by one another. In fact, they understand all too well.

tude, there is no doubt in my mind that you in fact did make yourself very clear. As I've said, it took me 20yrs. to cross paths with and/or come to know simply a few people in my 12-step meetings that understand me, my ptsd, my feelings and thinking and any of my trauma. While here within the forum, it has taken me little to no time at all to connect, to understand and to know that others understand me as well.

So, bc of my self-diagnosis and the feared risks involved for me in not attending my 12-step meetings, I go, but I go with an attitude that my higher power and I are the best it gets for reliable support. So I continue to go on far less occassion to listen for the three-fold description of my comorbid disease described and/or to offer support and service when I can't.

I'm keeping in check that illness in those meetings. I'm confronting my trauma and PTSD with a therapist when it is permitted, as she has a lot to learn IMHO. And, I'm journaling, taking healing actions and asking for support here within the forum for my PTSD. And, I can't wait until my self-confidence and abilities to think straight, for longer periods of time, builds in such a way, that I too will be able to give away much needed help and support that we all here need and deserve.

You'd think so tude, wouldn't you. I would too. But far to often they don't, and when they do they're usually too fearful to say anything. IMHO, so many are encouraged to chase the wind, along with others, and don't ever come near touching the kind of honest self-examination, de-numbing and permission to feel, and allow others to feel as well, that permits them to relate to anything but substitute faulty-coping mechanisms.

tude, I'm too tired to review any of what I've written here, and I will say that there is always the possibility of me not being thorough, so I really hope this helps, if only a little, and doesn't hinder any. Also, it doesn't come easy for me to share what I've shared here bc as far as recalling and being reminded of others responses to my trauma and post-trauma, in ongoing fellowship 12-step meetings, I'm yet to be able to think straight enough through that burden of secondary pain, as well as, additional trauma, and my error, to be able to speak of, release and examine so much of many of those 20yrs.

Hope

People get very uncomfortable when you talk about it. I have always been open about my tramas. My family thought, I should never tell anyone. If I hadn't, I may not be here today. I just met 2 ladies a few months ago, I was invited to their home Sunday. Since, I don't have any friends I thought what the heck. They proceeded to tell me about their suffering of PTSD from sexual abuse. The daughter of one of them just has the look in her face, she is about 8 years old. I came out and asked if she was abused and they told me yes from her biological father, than a few months ago her step-father tried to take his life in their home and the poor girl got up to use the bathroom and found him almost dead. I asked if she is going to conselling. I was told yes, but was not convinced. I told her for almost 50 years, I have had this hanging over my neck and begged them to get her help immediately. I sure hope so. It seemed like they told her they both were abused and it happens to alot of people. I hope that is not what they call help. My family don't want to hear about my past. They as the rest of the people I know think it is about time that I put the past in the past. If it was that easy, I would have years ago. PTSD makes one feel like an alien from another planet.
sunnydaze

I have a lot of difficulty in telling anyone about my traumas because they WILL discriminate and harass me. It's ok for them to do anything and everything to me, but I cannot have so much as one smidgeon of privacy. Too often it's called the "war on terror". War on terror. Because they are afraid of a muslim in Iraqi blowing up school children, I must SURRENDER my privacy here in the US. My ass. When I tried to go to college, I had to "tell" them about my income. Not prove, TELL. Excuse me?
When I applied to attend college, I was told I had to give certain information to be accepted. The release of the same information is regulated by law, but the school, fearful of the War on Terror, ignores that. They are fearful, thus I must surrender my religious rights, my privacy rights, all in the name of keeping them warm and cozy from a war that is, last I knew, happening over 12,000 miles away.

Which part of it, I know that I burned out a relationship recently. He said I was too intense etc. There are some really good things I do, but I also cope poorly with things or people that trigger my stress. After christmas I had to put my dog down, the way I handled the aftermath freaked him out , he left so now I just made things worse. A lot of what happens to us, what we do seems to burn people out.

Some people are understanding, I have a few friends that understand and are still there for me...for now anyway. The counselors at the DV shelter of course were awesome at being understanding and supportive. But more times than not I am met with looks of horror or told "OK, STOP right there. I don't want to know anymore, I just ...it's too much." To me it is my life, stuff that I went through that in my world was the norm. I guess I should feel validated by their shock and horror since I used minimization as a coping tool on a regular basis from the time I was a child, for me it's been the only way to survive things and not end up in some state mental hospital. But really most of the time I kinda feel like a freak show or that people don't believe me. In my head I hear "STUPID! Why did you talk about that?! You should just learn to keep your mouth shut!" Even in the understanding atmosphere of this forum I don't think I ever will be able to talk about certain things that are swimming around in my head.

i have found that the best place to talk and be understood was when i started going to ptsd groups. i don't think that anyone except others like us can truly understand what we go through.

I have c-ptsd and always tell people I have ptsd, no mention of the c word. I'm going to school to be a therapist and have heard way too many people refer to their patients as bi-polars As in, I had a bi-polar the other day, blah blah blah. No other people with a symptom are refered to by disorder, but apparently people w/ ptsd and/or bpd are the real crazies. I can't tell anybody one thing. The first trauma I experienced was when I was 9, and I was traumatized several times subsequently, but only developed symptoms after being raped the last time when I was 20. How do you tell people you've been raped many times but it was the last time that really got to you?

Unless you have been there and done that, skip it.

I find it too hurtful to share with someone and take the risk of exposing myself to have them say: "Just get over it." "Stop living in the past." These remarks are from my family. Some of the reason they respond this way is to avoid taking responsibility for having not protecting me as a child. They feel guilty so they throw it back at me.
At first it really hurt me (for over a year) until I could understand that they couldn't begin to comprehend the complexity of my illness. I felt bad that they were not even willing to try to understand or be sensitive to my needs. Heaven forbid you rain on their parade.

These remarks are the most common. People with out PTSD just don't get it. They can't fathom the depth of the pain and suffering we experience regularly in our daily survival. We all wish we could stop it like they wish we could. We cannot control it.

The comments I really get angry about are: "I've got a little PTSD from that fight in the hallway I tried to break up" or "from the break up of my relationship". It just kills me when people identify PTSD with regards to a minor bump in the road compared to our pasts.

The only one I've shown one of my scars to, but did not share the story/background info to, was responded to with a short/shocked like silence then a change of subject.

Really the only people I talk to every day is the small group of people I work with. One person completely ignores everything, one asks if I'm ok ocasionally, one person just started working there and knows/asks nothing and the other knows about 5% of whats been happening. (I get the feeling it's talked about behind my back though???)

I H A T E it when people say "I'm so tired, I only got 4 hours of sleep last night...", or "I'm tired and my feet hurt. I just want to go home...." and s*** like that. I don't talk about what happened, or how many hours of sleep I got. I do my damnest to be in the present and block it all out while I'm at work. I've probally had 4 hours of sleep over the past 2 weeks. Sorry, got a little off topic there.