Hi there,

I can so relate to your feeling of fear at night ..... I too suffered terribly at night in the beginning,in the end,my father had to start staying in the house over night,i just couildnt deal with the fear factor that someone wouldnt finish me off in the night.I slept with a knife under my pillow for a long long time,but that was all i had,no gun or anything.i couldnt settle really to get satisfying sleep,the slightest noise or sound i was on full alert! ready and waiting.I even had cctv put round my house thinking this would make me feel safer,it didnt as i realised that could soon be eluded by anyone.My poor father went through a terrible time,i used to make him check ,check again and again that there was no one outside......oh god when i think,it reminds me of the fear i had then.I am a lot lot better now about things but i always have the radio on at my bedside,i have to hear someone talking softly in the background,i find that helps me,it makes me feel safer..........

casx

night monster I guess we all have them I sleep with a angel lamp on that my sisters dr. she worked for sent to me. and The dogs help alot but alot of the time I end up on the floor in a corner under the covers, Tom put camras outside for me with night vision and movement lights that will turn one if the beam is triggered. I have a guns too but I put them away under lock and key. loaded guns and night monster don't mix well. think about it would you have the guts to cause someone else the pain we are going through?
sally

depends how i am either afraid nothing afraid everything

Not being able to sleep . Im 34 and bought one night light,as it made me feel like a kid agian. By the time i started feeling some what better i had bought a total of 15, never wanted it to be really dark agian.....

do what ever makes you feel safe it took 15 night lights for me:-)

I, too, sleep with the T.V. on. Well, kind of- I set the sleeper timer or else my husband would kill me.

I try not to advocate drugs, but, have you talked to your PCP about this? I've suffered from insomnia for about four years now and I'm currently taking Rozerem, which is a non-habit forming sleep-aid (at least they say.) It works fairly well for me. On nights that I still can't fall asleep or wake up in a panic attack, I take an anti-anxiety.

When I am alone at night because my husband is working(which is very rare) I get terrified in the dark. I actually start to see things that aren't there and sometimes I will have a panic attack. I make sure that at least one of our two dogs is sleeping on the bed with me, but it is terrifying and I wonder how I am ever going to fall asleep. The only thing that keeps me from going crazy is convincing myself that the dogs would sense if something was lurking around. Having dogs is wonderful for me

I wrestle with two sides of this coin.

On one hand, I feel safest and most secure at night. The darkness hides me. No one can see me when it's dark. I can slip around town, go anywhere and do anything, and no one sees me because there is no light. Also, everyone else is asleep, so there aren't any eyes to physically look at me either!

See, in my head, people just looking at me is a negative judgment. I can't stand to have people look at me. I feel ashamed and not worthy of even being there, occupying the space that I do. So I don't want people to see me. The darkness of night gives me that protection.

On the other hand, I need the TV on in order to sleep. My TV has been on 24/7 for the last 2+ years, with the exception of 4 nights total. The TV distracts my brain. Otherwise my brain focuses fully on the things that need to be done, the things I am not getting done, the things that are bothering me and the things I cannot do... it spirals and hyper-focuses and the next thing I know, I feel completely batty and overwhelmed by the anxiety and negative judgments. So, having the TV on keeps my brain distracted from all of that junk. Then I pick and choose what I really want to focus on with the remaining brainpower. (Right now, typing this post, and also keeping an eye on the clock so I don't miss class @ 6.)

Interestingly, I don't need the TV on overnight when I sleep at my Mom's house. Her house is a "safe place" for me. When I go there, my worries, concerns and judgments just melt away. But my own home, is not a safe place, as all the negatives and problems pervade into every nook and cranny, like a fog. I can't escape it anywhere here. So the TV helps to distract my head from it. Unfortunately it's nowhere near 100% effective -- the negatives don't melt away like at Mom's -- but it does at least chew up a chunk of brain power to limit the amount of negative I'm juggling at any one time.

And that allows me to sleep.

Bailey

I brought twig lights. They are 6ft twigs that have little angel lights all over them. They are a soft light, enough to see but not too bright to stop me going to sleep. I also leave the bathroom light on. I listen to the radio and use the sleep timer function so that it switches itself off after a certain time. Occassionanly, I will put on a video and fall to sleep with that on - depends on how I am feeling. The radio helps with all the internal thinking, blocks it out!

I can remember about a month or so ago I slept all through the night and did not remember dreaming - I felt amazing the next day - full of energy and woke up feeling happy. I wish for this.

Spirit.

85% of my anxiety comes on at night. I often leave a light on when I (try) to go to sleep, but this problem extends way beyond sleeping. Once it gets dark, my agraphobia kicks in. This then causes depression because it is so hard for me to go out with friends, dates, etc.

I embrace the night. Daylight is what bothers me. Here is a thought process that may help. Remember, when its totally dark, you know where you are, noone else does. If someone approaches you, you know where they are, they have no clue your there.

This comes from a combat enviroment but it may help you embrace the knowledge that only you know where you are. You can equip your home so NOONE can get into it without causing so much noise that they would run. You can buy DVR infrared motion sensing equipment that will alert you if anyone moves around outside your house, record the event, and give you time to alert 911 and move to your safe area. When I talk of a safe area this can be a room in your house you can get to quick, that has a dedicated cell phone to it, with a weapon if you choose, that has only one way in and you can lock yourself in. Preferably a steel door is key.

It's all about thought processes and how to manage them when your parasympathomemetic nervous system kicks in (fight or flight). Now, you can beat someone's fight or flight system easily. There is a prinicple we were taught called Boyd's Law or the OODA loop. It stands for observe, orient, decide, act. You redo this thought process after every action you make because the situation has changed because of your actions.

Research this and see if it works for you.

Im throwing this out on a limb here as a civilian example. If you were attacked by someone you were in a relationship with, and you have decided to never be a victim again, then you are always looking, your head is on a swivel. If you think your being followed while walking, do an abrupt direction change and see if they are there. If they would happen to be there remember this. Their brain is processing the fight or flight. You are processing OODA. You have already made one OODA cycle as you observed you might be followed, you oriented yourself to the street, public shops you can run into quickly, if police or other who would help you are near. You decided to turn and confront them and force them into the fight or flight process (which the majority of people flight). Your action was turning. Now that this is done, reset your loop and begin to process information. Observe what this person is doing. Orient yourself with your new directions/escape routes/helpers, decide what you are going to do, then act. If this persons stance is aggressive then you already know WHERE your escape routes are, WHERE the people who are more likely to help you are, and you know WHAT your going to do. You can process both of these cycles faster than they can process the fight or flight process.

Thought I would throw that out there to see if it helps anyone.