Welcome to the forum.....you are doing a great job and i agree with sunnydaze.....don't take what Anthony said to heart....he is only protecting the forum......keeping it safe. Sometimes what you write is intepretedly in different ways by different people.

Just move on.....focus on your trauma and keep working hard...it feels bad right now but I assure you writing, talking, processing will make you feel better in the end.

Please remember......you are not alone.

Take Care
Pand

Hi my name is Anton and I am a medical student and a bit traumatized by these studies myself . I plan to write about PTSD. So may I ask what exactly was Your trauma and how u got acqainted to it. Thanks

I understand that Anthony is looking out for the community, and I agree with the rules of the forum.
What he said to me just seems harsh, if he had to say that, I wish he had done it privately. Maybe I could have clarified what I wrote, or at least I wouldn't be so embarrassed.
Ok, I'm going to let it go now, I'm going to stay away from this forum for now, I get a bad feeling when I think about it. Keep in mind that I feel like crying when someone honks at me in traffic, I know I'm super sensitive to that kind of thing. It's just better if I don't add one more worry/anxiety/embarrassment to everything else I've got going on.
my prayers and thoughts of healing go out to everyone here though.
tara

Hi Tara, I may very well have taken it the wrong way, hence why I say it and let you clarify it. Sorry if it seems harsh, though the idea is to be pushed a little.... not be within your comfort zone. If you do not tolerate a push now, then you are not ready to heal your trauma, because your going to need to push yourself quite fiercely to achieve this. My methods do have a madness to them...

You should not take it personally, instead question me, which you did in your response on the first page. I just had not gotten to it until now.

Right, since you know so much about me you thought that the best way to "push" my healing would be a smack-down in my first post?
Because I was hurt by being told that what I wrote was just a ploy for sympathy and not honest? I dont think that gives you anywhere near enough information to say I'm not ready to heal my trauma. I have pushed myself EXTREMELY HARD just to get to this point.
I'm sorry everyone for this whole thing, I am going to try to just leave it alone. I've already had quite a few experiences of thinking I could turn to someone for help and getting the "you're overreacting. You're just trying to get attention" response before they have heard my story. If they only knew. I think people in my life just don't want to believe things like that happen, and don't want to know how much they can affect you, your whole life.
Whatever Anthony's reasons for reacting to my post that way, it feels the same.
I'm really sorry everyone.

Tara, if that is the response you have obtained before, which you just admitted, then maybe you might need to stop for a second and have a look at yourself, instead of blaming everyone else for your issues. You posted things which outright are of a sympathetic nature, I pull no punches with these things. Has it done you any favours so far? I doubt it very much because others you have turned towards for help are telling you the same thing. Hello.... wakeup time Tara. This forum does not enable, I do not apologise for that. I will not enable you here, its not in your best interest, not mine, yours Tara. Not just myself, others are telling you the same thing which you admit, yet you don't see its wrong, its not helping you. Sympathy only induces PTSD, it does nothing towards reduction of symptoms or traumatic causes. I don't need to know you to know what sympathy looks like Tara, what it is, I have a lot of experience with it.

You want sympathy, you are in denial and need to come out of it. We are here to help you, not enable you.

I guess I don't know what the difference is between sympathy and writing about how I feel. I thought I was writing about how I feel.

Please explain to me what sympathy is.
I'm really confused about this, I'm sorry if I'm coming off as a bitch, I really don't mean to.
So the people (parents, teachers, friends) who looked at me like that when I said "I really need to talk to someone" and tried to explain what was going on inside me were right?
What am I in denial about?
I feel like I'm way too...whatever...to be trying to use this board. It's like I'm not speaking the same language.

this is so so upsetting to me, I'm sorry to keep posting about it. I'm sure people are just staying the heck away. Nice, new girl, way to make a first impression, can't wait to talk with you. I'm afraid I ruined my chance here. I didn't mean to. And I am afraid everything I write is doing the same thing-sympathy-since I don't know the difference. does everyone else?
it's 4:30 am and my head is pounding from crying. I need to try and get some sleep, if the sun comes up and I'm still awake I really get freaked out. (is that trying to get sympathy? i sincerely don't know, not trying to be snotty)

Tara,

You have the choice to leave or stay. If you leave then you run. You can't run from PTSD. You have to face the shit that is bothering you. We are ALL sensitive, we all have our feelings hurt. The idea is to work through it, not take things so personal and LISTEN to what others are saying. Then incorporate those things into your life.

Just listening to your head and heart when they maybe telling you the wrong thing is not a good decision IMO.

Your choice......