Question Can You Heal Without Dealing With The Past? - Page 2

anthony · #11 14-02-2008, 07:04 AM

I don't believe that was the point ruddy if the CPN was ruling out going into the past period....

mightsurvive · #12 14-02-2008, 08:09 AM

Hiya Shecat

Its nice to hear that has worked for your friends Shecat. I will do it one day I'm sure. I got the impression that I only could do it once but thinking about it she never actually said that. Again - I have to learn to make sure I listen to what she is saying more carfully and dont jump to conclusions.

I will give it a go but after I have talked to her again. Theres a few thngs I need to clear up first. I have major hatred and anger issues so it might help with them. As i say, i'll do anything to try and get better.

Take care and thanks again Shecat

mightsurvive · #13 14-02-2008, 08:21 AM

Hiya Ruddy

I think that if i did undertand the cpn correcltly then she is wrong. But i'm going to give her the chance to convince me that I simply misunderstood. I hope she can do that otherwise... whats the point?

If shes saying we can sort the future out if we can deal with the past then fine - lets get going with that one ... like yesterday

If shes saying that the past doesnt come into it then she cant help me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruddy

"I will not allow what happened to me in the past destroy my future." That means taking on the tough task of facing the past, not dismissing it. Is that the point she was trying to make? Could it be a matter of interpretation?

I believe in that too but at the moment it is affecting me. I'll do anything to prevent it from affecting me but like you say the past is so important in being able to do that. Thanks for the new motto - I'm adopting it if you dont mind.

Thanks again and take care

mightsurvive · #14 14-02-2008, 08:38 AM

Thanks Anthony

I know you are right. Just needed it confirmed.

Quote:

Originally Posted by anthony

If you have negative emotion bottled within from past pain you must face that emotion, you must deal with it head on, you must find resolution with that emotion to remove it, quash it or accept it so it can change to a more neutral emotion (ie. I must accept this because it cannot be changed now, I either accept it or try and keep fighting it to go away).

I agree wholly with this. I know I cant change the past but i soooooo want to. Wish I could turn back time more than anything in the world but I cant. I accept that but it eats me up.

Quote:

Originally Posted by anthony

I think you know now.... the CPN was an idiot.

Not sure if she is an idiot or if I misunderstood her. Something I have to tackle her about I guess. But if she has been through this trauma herself then surely she should know what its like and that the past has to be tackled. I hope i just misunderstood where she was coming from because she really is my last hope at the moment and I'm clinging onto that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by anthony

Lovely as they may off been, lovely is not what you need with trauma, you need empathetic + pushy = you healed.

Again this is true but not sure I'm going to get that. Time will tell I suppose. Maybe I can ask her to refer me to get diagnosed or for EMDR or to someone who can / will help me deal with the past. If not I'll have to give recovery up as a lost cause but I dont want to do that.

Heres hoping that the next session goes better.

Thanks again and take care Anthony