Okay, here it goes... The other day my dad asked me how I was doing. Well, lately I've been having a lot of nightmares which in turn has increased my other symptoms ie, anxiety flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, etc. So I told him, "So - so, just PTSD stuff." He asked me if it was my stuff or was it other peoples stuff. I told him other peoples stuff was just my PTSD too. (We're mainly talking about anxiety). So he says "everybody gets anxiety kid, it's not exclusive to PTSD. Your always so quick to blame it on PTSD." I got pissed and said I know that other people get anxiety but mine is PTSD "and you don't have to live with it, so you don't know what you're talking about."
He just shut up right there and that was the end of that conversation.

So, I go in and tell my mom what happened and she says to me. We know you have PTSD but you don't always have to say it. (Mind you, They are the ones that ask how I'm doing) She says I should just say 'I'm depressed today' or 'I don't feel good.' Now can somebody please tell me how that is any better than saying I'm having some symptoms? It's not like this happens every day or anything. Some days I manage my symptoms quite well! It's just that when I have bad days they can tell, so they ask me how I am or what's going on. It's really quite frustrating honestly.

Anyway the next day (yesterday actually) I spent in bed, all f'ed up with symptoms (my mother abused me when I was a kid, so I got pretty triggered). When my mother asked me what was wrong, I said "nothing." Later, she asked me if I was mad at her... Insanity! That's all I can say. My mother is nuts!

So, I'm just venting here. This is my first official vent on this forum. Any response is always appreciated.

Take care all, Morgan

I listened Morgan. Vent away!

Feel free to vent anytime Morgan. I am sorry your family doesn't seem to understand. It sounds as though they are trying to minimize the situation, likely due to a combination of discomfort and being uninformed of PTSD. Neither of which is an excuse though! My husband and I made some similar mistakes with our daughter early on, however we learned from them, and like to think we are doing well with her now. My heart goes out to you, it is a frustrating situation.

Hey Morgan - Nice vent. I like it.

Your mom and dad will probably never give a straight answer and will probably always act crazy especially when you talk about PTSD.

One, your mom doesn't want to face the guilt of having abused you so she'll do some fancy psychological foot work around that. Hence, wanting to call it anxiety rather than PTSD. Right what's the difference. If you called it anxiety 'cause you beat the shit out of me mom, she'd want to call it x, y and z.

Two, your dad, who should have stopped the abuse, doesn't want to face up to being a abuse enabler and he'll do some fancy psychological foot work around that.

Don't expect them to act rational about how they ****ed you up. They won't.

Very keen insight T. Thank you for that.

Morgan,

Venting is good, and it does help. So vent away.

Abusers (that are family or close relatives) usually never take responsibility for what they have done. In fact they will deny/and or try and make you look like the crazy one to the rest of the world.

In my case I think the after math and not the actual abuse was more harmful.

Take care.

Hi Morgan,

I'm sorry you've been having some bad days lately. I think T offered some really valuable insight into your parents reaction to your response when they ask how you are feeling. Maybe if you were simply depressed, they wouldn't feel so guilty, hence why they would rather hear you say that instead of "PTSD". The result of their abuse (and I don't mind saying that ignoring the abuse is abuse, too) has a specific name - one given to someone who has specific symptoms due to a specific event or events. That makes them to blame and guilt is a mother. Don't alter your response to them to make THEM feel better. You are not there to comfort them. (just my 2 cents, of course)

I hope you have a better day today.

Best,
Rachel

I apologize Morgan, when I read your post I missed the part about your mother abusing you. My opinion certainly would have been different in that case! I have a question for you however. I read in another thread that you live with your parents. Is that the same set of parents? If so, you are living with one of your abusers? That is a very unhealthy situation Morgan.

I am not knowledgeable about your age, life situation, and circumstances, but I sure agree with Kathy.
This is a good topic, IMHO.

Kathy, Yes it is the same set of parents And yes I live with one of my abusers. You're right of course, it is one huge trigger after another for me. I am however managing my symptoms rather well, all things considered.

In my mother's defense i will say she has taken certain steps toward making it up to me (as best she knows how). She just doesn't take it all the way to a full on confession and heartfelt apology. She can't handle the guilt.

I know this is not a healthy situation and it is definitely temporary. My Dr. and therapist wouldn't let me get away with staying here any longer than necessary. I'm just waiting for my VA money. I'll be out of here in a few months. Meanwhile, I get the opportunity to learn to manage my triggers more efficiently. I'm doing pretty good so far... really.

I want you to know that I really appreciate your care and concern. It means a lot to me. Thank you.

Take care, Morgan