42 days :-)

Spirit x

Poor BB. He was on a roll this week so he asked for extra work on one of his day off. Went to the gym, worked too hard and put his back out. It was already stuffed from something that happened a few weeks before. And don't think he has taken any anti inflamatory tabs either.

CANADIANS? What is a good brand of anti inflamatory over the counter?

But I think he's fine. He said he's really sore and it's tough being in the kitchen for a double shift with it, but he's thinking of Asian sand running through his toes. He'll pull through, he always does physically.

Anyway, positive vibes for the BB, he needs them, for at least another 41 days anyway, after that he'll be close to drowned in them, by me.

BB is still going strong. He received a letter from me today, hasn't picked it up yet as I sent it registered post. It's his birthday in a few weeks, we've had some trouble with Canada post so I sent a few pics of us and a mix CD to see if he got it this time.

Still umming and arring about sending his actual gift. I'd be totally devastated if it didn't make it. It should be OK though -- sending it by international courier, so dirty Canada post will never touch it -- dirty, dirty Canada post!

39 days!

Hi Samsara. Advil is the best over the counter you can find here (IMHO). Pain killer and anti-inflammatory all in one. What's better than that? :)

bec

BB is on fire. A fantastically seemingly surreal experience we are having here. he even said he likes his new regime and has all his boys out of the pub and into the gym training with him.
They've swapped beer for protein shakes. BB is proclaiming the gym should be paying him commission -- the pack keeps growing.

That is one good thing about the getting on the wagon, lucidity is a beautiful drug of it's own if you let it work for you. Wow. Just Wow!

Miracles can happen. Just believe, BELIEVE and create your own positive reality.

Thank you all so much for your positive energy. I just know you guys have made a difference.

37 days!

That is awesome. You are right. Believing makes things happen.

It's getting harder as it gets closer. BB is having a tough time at the moment.
My god it sucks being this far away. he was really upset last night. he sounded so alone. I was so sad. he still doesn't believe that I'll always stick by him. He's had some bad news about his dad. I couldn't work out what, but he feels so helpless. And he's getting really volatile. he screamed at me (drunk) down the phone -- "then where are you when i wake up, where are you? You're never here, I'm on my own, forever I'm on my own." Z"i have been trying so hard. three weeks sober, I just have to digg out sometimes or I'll literally kill someone. I had to sedate myself."
I didn't take it personally, he was far gone, but at least he's talking to me when he falls over now.
And yes so he's fallen off the wagon, but at least he's reaching out.
God I love him. I spent the rest of the night preparing his birthday box. 28 days seems like forever today.

It will be okay! You will soon be there! You prepared yourself for this! Alone, yes that is a terrible feeling - I have been told that it is a state of mind. This will pass......Hang in there only 28 days to go.....

Spirit x

I'm too exhausted from elation at the miracle that happened in the past couple of days.

Miracles can happen.

I'll tell you more about it soon.

But for now this is the text that BB sent me today after seeing the photos of the sunset we chased to find BB.

BB and I have had an epiphany -- together!
BB is the sun and I am the moon and we've finally convinced each other it is real.

One hour after we spoke for two hours on the phone:

" I just went and spoke to my boss, he said something that really f*cked with me. He said

BB: What a fu*k? I ws worried you were off hurting yourself, or someone else, you dg out and said nix to nobody, you were pissed off when you left, didn't go to your morning job and no one could find you. You're a beautiful fu*ked up soul and we worry about you." He sounded like you, he sounded like it was you speaking through him. And now I am realising that my people do care about the BB dog. You funny thing, you maybe right baby!

I'm amazed at this new insight into how people view what I call the BB. God bless you, my ilk.

...
the next day -- today, I woke up on the hour every hour --bloody full moon.

BB. Everything is OK bebe, about to go into work. Don't panic...the sun is shining today.

S: Believe in the sun my beautiful man -- it's you! And when you can't see it -- I'll see it for you. I realised just now why I kept waking up all my life during the full moon -- it's me. The earth needs us as much as we need each other

Later that day.

BB: We're gona have a chat later tonight, let's promote positivity amongst each other, x thanks for your messages last night, ti amo, ik hou v jou.

S: Yep. I'll give you light when it gets dark for you and you'll make me warm when I feel cold. Win, win.

BB: Someone just came up and told me BB you're a good man, a bit fu*ked up, but one of the best and I love you...
Bebe, you caused this onset on aloha, or you made me open my eyes, in the past two days people have come to me to let me know who I am to them. I'm kinda touched, in a man's man sort of way.

I am loving the bumps people, there are a million stories to be told if you listen.

Then Believe in miracles. Believe in dreams so you can fight away teh nightmares.

A wonderful quote I heard on the movie "the notebook" the other day.

"Science can only do so much before god steps in."

I'm no dogmatic religious type, but I believe in the universe, I believe that nature speaks to us, if we are willing to listen and act with positive energy and belief.

And as I write this, the pixies come on the stereo in the cafe I am writing to you from, "Here comes your man" they tell me.

Till the next instalment...