I'm all about balance and it takes females and males to achieve it IMO. I had an online friend who once was a psychiatrist but developed bipolar and had to quit.

He was the best teacher I ever had. I would send him boo hoo e-mails about my poor pathetic life and he would tell me to get over it and that I'm not a victim I'm a survivor.

He also taught me about achieving boundaries and to accept the dark side of myself which was one of the scariest things I ever did, and he helped me along the way.

He shared some of his truths with me as being a male and as I found it hard to tolerate at times, I certainly understand the male gender more than I once did.

My female friends would just tell me they were sorry and sugar coat everything. He made me see so many truths about myself I would have never seen. I've been trying to incorporate masculine traits into my personality to achieve balance and he has been guiding me.

He is a brilliant man, none have ever came close to the insight and teachings he gave to me on how to deal with life. In just about every e-mail he would tell me balance is the goal and it's OK to be emotional, but lets try to reason out some of these problems instead of feeling passive about them and letting them fester until I became passive- aggressive.

Cactus, I guarantee anything you tell me it would not offend me and I almost bet I could understand it or "get it" PM me and with something and I will show you.

Yin & Yang = balance


Tammy

Very well said Tammy. I know it was actually two females who really assisted me to take on my emotional well-being, it certainly was not males. One was my therapist and one was a social worker who did therapy with me as part of my PTSD course. Both very influential in getting me to understand that being a male and pushing my problems down, just wasn't helping me; instead to adopt a more female approach with accepting my emotional self and understanding that self, being honest with my emotions and not ignoring them.

Well said Tammy.

I have had far more luck with male counselors. The last woman played head games with me and when I tried to find out why or the purpose or what have you, she told me "I'll let you think about it until our next session". Infuriating. Succeeded in accomplishing absolutely nothing.

Perhaps she wanted you to figure it out for yourself CJ rather than just telling you as that is often more enlightening.

Cactus Jack,

That had nothing to do with her gender. "Getting IT" implies that someone doesn't "understand". Both sexes are capable of understanding at the same levels.

Anthony,

Funny, I liked your scientific approach far more than your original post. And, I agree with that post. No foul, no harm. (or is it the other way around?!)

Anyway, I definitely wasn't reading in to anything, my initial reaction was to take offense, but my head quickly took over. Which is why I was almost offended.

Best,
Rachel

I guess for me I must be the exception.
I am very logical, and not emotional. Been called cold-hearted.
My husband cries at commercials, I can't understand it.
Never been the gossip confide to girlfriends type.
Interesting enough, I also have higher then normal testosterone levels.

I agree with Nicolette,

If your T came right out and told you then it might as well went in one ear and out the other. If you think about it, you find it "on your own" and that is more rewarding then for some one to tell you.

Also, she may know that it would make you mad and it was not a head game she was playing but a way to help you understand yourself.

I've had about 12-15 therapists in the course of my PTSD both male and female and not one played any head games with me. They have challanged me, which is different than playing head games.

Take care
Tammy

Thanks Anthony,

I think the reason most men do this is because they fear other males will see them as weak.

Actually, the man who can verbalize his problems is much stronger IMO than the so called tough ones, who 'think' they can handle everything on their own. For some it takes a lot of courage to admit they need help and that makes them stronger, not weak.

Tammy

Oh yea, I just "Love" the men who think they can handle everything on there own..... Ever driven with one of them??? Gotten lost and spent hours driving in circles because the will NOT stop and ask directions........

I would love the logical, and sensitive one to find me. I figure that he is either dead or married, and I am out of luck!!!!!!

No worries Anthony...though I do not agree...You can be a male and perform the gender typically ascribed (only because we have been socialised that way) to a female and vice versa. You have boys, who, before their parents shove cars etc. into their hands may find dolls more fascinating and play with them...or, girls play with cars etc...these elements of gender are learned, not inherent, and thus the separation of sex and gender.