Hi,
my husband got diagnosed with PTSD shortly after he got out of the army after 7 years and 2 trips to Iraq. We just recently moved in our own apartment (after living almost a year with my sister and her husband-his best friend). Ever since we moved we barely talk and he is gone when i come home after work whithout a word and he wont answer his cellphone. When he comes home he is drunk. I am very worried about him. He get stiff when i touch him and we dont kiss no more. (We were so in love and couldnt keep away from each other when not 2 years ago.) On the rare occasions we talked, i asked him that he knows that he has PTSD but if he accept the fact. His reply was that PTSD is a weakness and that he cant be weak. he rather destroy himself and anyone around him than to be weak....

His solution to all this is to not feel at all!!!

I read some articles on this forum about PTSD and how important it is to accept it in order to get "healed".

I do not know how to cope with this "getting pushed" away. It seems like im the only person trying to solve this problem. I was so strong in the past with his love, feeling i can put up with everything. Now this love is gone or buried in the same corner than his fears. I dont know how to reach out to him since he doesnt want to talk about his situation. It seems whenever i reach out it pushes him further away from me. I dont know how you put up with this. I love him very much

Corie, welcome to the forum. I don't really know what to say, but I know there are a lot of people here that are carers of those that have PTSD. I hope that you will find some comfort here.

Welcome to the forum Corie, lovely to have you. I am pleased you have started reading articles already. Knowledge is power when dealing with this illness, so arm yourself with that knowledge. Also do remember to take care of yourself through this, have your own breaks from your husband, have your own friends and interests apart from him, and seek professional help for yourself if you feel the need. As my husband says you count too, so be careful to not lose yourself in your husband's illness.

Unfortunately, if your husband considers PTSD a weakness and does not wish to speak about it, he is perhaps not ready for help. You may be there to support him, however the bottom line is, he must be willing to help himself, and must do the majority of the work. You could perhaps suggest that he read upon this forum, or that he read some of the books suggested here, so that he may learn that PTSD is not a weakness. Perhaps also there are some other veterans or friends of his, that he may speak with, if he doesn't feel comfortable speaking with you? The however he must be willing to do this, and at a point where he accepts his condition. You cannot force him. That is the unfortunate and very frustrating aspect of this illness. We as carers do need to learn to let go of our loved ones to a certain extent. In any event, do keep posting and reading, there are many in your situation here. Take care.

Welcome Corie....

This is a great place for support.

Thank you all,
I am really glad that i found this forum. And I try to learn as much as possible. I already suggested this forum to my husband and he seems to read it. He sended me an email yesterday quoting a sufferer who sucessfully shut out everyone and seems to be happy with this. He said thats how he felt. After he had be gone all day again without telling me where he went or when he would be back things got really heated and I guess I blew it. I was really frustrated after reading this quote. Because there is no future for "us" in there. I was and still am emotionally drained from the past weeks and called him a coward. That we wouldnt be an Infantry man when he keeps running away from his problems. Well he left and we didnt had contact since. I know this was wrong but it just came out after weeks of getting pushed away.

I think i need to learn alot.
Thank you all agian for having me

hello corie,
i served in afghanistan and iraq.i reacted the same way,my wife and i have been seperated for two years now. get him to the va as soon as possible,it takes time but it will help.stay strong and good luck to you both.
armyvet

You need to love that man so much. You need to love him with all of your heart and God's heart too. I was the same way when I got home. I'm still somewhat there, but I'm getting better. I completely shut myself out to everyone including the ones I most loved, like my wife and family. The first few weeks of being back home with my wife were great, but we kept gradually drifting apart because all I could think about was what I had gone through. All you can do is be there for him, love him, and try to get him some help and get it fast. I hope everything works out. Tell him to hang in there, he's not alone.

Brad