I spent some time with my girlfriend yesterday, and she said that I help her to relax. She also does the same for me, so we both enjoy our time together, no matter what we're doing. So last night she called and we talked about things and her recent bouts, and she said she didn't know why I wanted to be with her and all her problems, but she was glad that I stood by her and supported her. I told her that as I learn more about her and PTSD it helps me to understand her, and she told me that she is beginning to understand me as well, and can appreciate my own idiosyncrasies.

Her thought provoked me, though, to think about what my past relationships were like with women who didn't have PTSD. In the past, women I've dated have lied to me about where they were or who they were with, cheated on me, one of them stole money from me and yet another was very nice and loyal but it was obvious that she couldn't be alone as she wanted to go everywhere with me, giving me no time to myself. Another was such a control freak that I felt like I was losing my identity. All of these things were done to me, and some of them offended me.

My current girlfriend has PTSD, and that's because of things that were done to her. She's loyal to me, she loves me, she wants to be with me and we're both looking forward to a future together...we've always wanted what we have found in each other. I trust her fully and I know she's not a cheater, so I don't have the insecurities I've had with other women I've dated. She's not hung up on money or material possessions, and quite often when we go out she offers to pay...something I rarely saw with other so-called "normal" women that I've dated.

I fell in love with her for who she is on the inside, and for how she makes me feel about myself. So she has PTSD ... I'll take that over controlling, lying, cheating and stealing anyday. :)

You know... I can see why she values you so much. Your just a sweet heart!

Just had to say that. :)

bec

aww...thank you Bec. I know that I do have my moments where I'm less than a sweetheart, but I really do care about her so I try. She thrills me....definitely!

This si a very interesting thread indeed! I have just sat here and really thought about why I did start dating Alex...
I found Alex had PTSD about 3 weeks before we got together, and I had no idea what that meant and I didn't really care. I fell for Alex because we both loved to laugh. I was going through a hard time being pregnant and just about to leave a relationship with my baby's dad, and Alex helped me so much during that time. Also, I was still grieving for my Nana and Alex was the only person I felt comfortable enough around to talk about it and cry about it. Alex and I connected on such a level that it didn't matter where we were or what we were doing or who we were with, it seemed it was just us.
Alex was so much fun when we first met. We used to go the pub and play pool for hours, and he introduced me to other people my age who were expecting babies, or had babies, some single Mums some not.
We had only been together for a few months when Alex had to go to the PTSD course and they invited me to come along. That's when I learned a lot more about PTSD and the nightmare it was. Speaking to other partners I thought I was mad for being with him because their stories terrified me! I was actually ready to walk away from the whole lot. But then I realised that every relationship had bad parts and if these couples could stay together through it all that Alex and I could make it work...
After Jackson was born I suffered from Post Natal Depression, and it was Alex who noticed the warning signs and told me I needed help- of course I didnt listen at the time; but eventually after he told my Mum his concerns, I sought the help I needed. I believe that had it not been for Alex I would have never have gotten the help I needed and in all honesty would probably be dead right now.
Alex has helped me just as much as I have helped him. We are always there for each other and we respect each others alone time when we need it, and when we are together and te boys are both asleep it is almost like we are the only two in the world again. I know it sounds really sappy, but I owe a lot more to Alex than he does to me. And most days, he is still that same person I fell in love with knowing he had PTSD- we deal with the bad days together; and it is weird actually, with me still having depression and Alex's PTSD, we never have a bad day at the same time! It really is like we equal each other out.