Kers - I agree with you as well...I would not be strong enough to face the tough things we deal with if I left feeling worse then I started. Harsh and overwhelming therapy may be necessary for some although I don't really believe that, but I know it is not for me. Things aren't perfect when I leave and there is a hell of a lot of pain, but I am know I am supported in the midst of my pain and will work through it.

I hear what you all are saying, and while it makes sense, I don't think the difficult therapy sessions are the best for everyone. If I have a tough session, I CANNOT function for a day or so, sometimes more. This isn't so good when you have to wake up at 5 am for work the next day and have a ton on your plate. I also tend to become very dependent on meds during this time; if I don't take a bunch, there's a good chance I'm going to end up in the ER from extreme panic that includes breaking out into huge hives that can only be cured with even more meds. (Which then, in turn, creates more stomach issues, and my body and mind tend to go downhill.) Well, that's just me. Perhaps it hasn't been as bad for you all.

nic

Thanks for all the input. I think now I'll have a better idea of how to make therapy help. Like things to look for after and start to relize my limits/how far I can be pushed and take into account how I feel afterwards etc...

Not sure, but she seems to know about some of the things I'm talking about.

Yes. The first 2 sessions and most of the third we did talk about it. Last week we talked about it a little. She knows I'm very uncomfortable talking about it. I get very quiet and don't know what quite to say (or it just won't come out). But eventually it does come out, it just takes some time. She has a lot of patience and does push, but if something comes up and I don't want to go there, she backs off. I'm sure she'll bring it up later though. So last week she tried to get an idea of who I am otherwise.

By the way, just out of curiosity, do you get a reciept for copay? I've never recieved one- is this normal?

Cypher.

The way you feel when leaving the T. office, IMHO, depend on the stage you are in.

Your T. needs to get to know you a little , and the he/she can begin the digging. When my T. got to that stage I left his office a wreck. I could do nothing but go to bed and shake. I was useless for days. Reliving/purging the trauma that put you in this mess is a painful process. As the T. pulls all the pain out of you, you are going to hurt. I have to agree with Anthony.

I can tell you that as you begin to trust your T. you sessions will become easier. You will still suffer but eventually it will begin to take on a feeling of "OH, I feel better".

We are all saying pretty much the same thing. But trust me when I say, you will know if it is working. Get A Headache-----It's Working

it's possible everyone has different reactions to therapy because we have different traumas to recover from. I've been to many therapists; sometimes I feel pretty awful and sometimes I feel hopeful, or at least like I understand myself more. That's with the same therapist. So I won't try to say what anyone should or shouldn't feel like, only that the priority is you feel like the therapist is on your side and you don't feel revictimized during a session.
Good luck

"I almost always walk away from my counseling sessions feeling better, safer, less helpless, less weak. My counselor is nudging me to face things, but at a very slow and comfortable pace for me."

Same reactions here. With Complex PTSD, my VA Center therapist is having me work on skills to cope with symptoms and developing trust with her one-on-one before we start trama processing. I keep the stuff compartmentalized for now. Of course, it leaks out at some of the most inappropriate times - That's what keeps me focused on staying in treatment.

We have been working together weekly since mid October 2007. I have gotten impatient with the non-trigger rules of her group sessions and learned that I will be moving to a more advanced group as I show my ability to cope with day to day living. The peeling the onion approach vs chopping to the middle feels right, but it is frustrating at times.

Grateful for you.

I've been in CBT with a trauma therapist who does EMDR for two years now. For the first year, she mostly helped me with the day to day, dealing with work, keeping me functional. Then my boss was abusive, she congratulated me on getting out of a bad situation.

First session I saw her, she wanted me in a trauma hospital. Couldn't afford it, so I decided to tough it out with her.

Second and third, we went over my 'life events'. I've always been pretty non-chalant when talking about the things I remember, like it didn't affect me.

Only one EMDR session in two years, had to get on meds, get stabilized, get work straightened out, get the 'man' out of my house, etc. Learn just basically how to take care of myself around people so I wouldn't get traumatzed yet again.

Now, I'm on meds, fairly stable, 'happy?'.....we have to start doing the EMDR now. I'm terrified.

But I trust her completely, she's been through it.

I think it's a decision you and your T need to make together. Definately having your ducks in a row in your life prior to working with the memories is a must, I think. No sense adding more to an already awful thing you have to face.
Good luck, and if you develop a bond, then let them guide you. If not, find another therapist soon.
Don't give up on you.....that's all I can say.

Wow, you mean to tell me that so-and-so was actually helping me oh so many years ago? This is really difficult for me because if it were anyone else, I would drop them like a hot rock. Why would I continue to meet with someone who repeatedly makes me cry or otherwise feel like shit? This does not compute.

At the risk of sounding stupid, how does that help?

Because it means their pushing you past your comfort levels, into areas of yourself that are causing you pain. You ignore them, but a good therapist will push you to face what you ignore and what you fear most.... as that is where the most benefit lay.